To not want to take dog for the night?

[Mumalorian]

My DF has had to go into hospital for a night and DB has asked if we could take the dog as he is going away for the night with sil and dn (Df stays with db).

I have said no on the grounds that their dog barks and will start our dog off barking, we know this as df brought the dog down for a day over xmas which wasnt an issue, but the barking was constant and got worse when we put their dog out in the hallway so we could eat as she is a begger for food and would eat off plates. Df gets up at ridiculous times to get his dog out.

We have 3 dc and don't want them to be affected by barking throughout the night.

I have suggested that we can let their dog out and feed her around 9pm and come back again in the morning somewhere between 8 & 9 yo feed and take the dog out.

I don't want db to miss out on this night away but don't want our whole night to be disrupted because of barking.

He is elderly but is still very capable, he had a fall resulting in the hospital stay.

I am too late as I see you have already agreed to have to dog, but I was going to suggest you pay someone to have it on your behalf.
Is Xmas the first time your dogs really met? Maybe a second meeting would be calmer without the stress of Xmas.
Our puppy doesn’t get along with MILs dog ( she’d elderly and wants a quiet life and he’s a puppy who wants to play!) but with each meeting they are getting more tolerant of each others needs.
Hope it goes as well as it can, and that your DF is on the mend ASAP

I'm amazed at the number of posters who were immediately outraged OP wouldn't clean their dirty house and look after their untrained dog. Presumably because 'vagina'.

FFS.

You have a baby and children and a dog of your own to look after and you're doing what you can. It's not your job to clean up after other capable adults.

It's kind of you to take the dog even though it will be a great, noisy nuisance and disrupt your own much needed sleep while you recover from a csection. DB needs to make alternative arrangements for his dog going forward and/or get him trained properly.

Barking deterrents £30, will stop all the barking.

We have one for our dog it doesn't work, don't know why it just doesn't for her.

You are not being unreasonable at all. You had given them good solid reasons as to why you can't/won't have the dog. You have also given them a reasonable solution. They have arranged to go away a night whilst your father is in hospital. Poor planning on their part then. Also if they can afford a night away they can afford to put dog in kennels or similar. Stand your ground

It’s one night. YABU I’m afraid.

It wasn’t a planned hospital stay so they couldn’t have planned differently

You will need to start giving some thought to how things will pan out in the future, when this situation starts becoming more frequent.

Perhaps start by encouraging df to get his dog used to occasionally going to a dog minder for increasing periods of time so that you can use that option for future emergencies.

Could you sleep there as a one off?

Yes they only met at Xmas, our dog is a collie cross as is extremely excited by everything she's not even 2 yet. Df dog is elderly too.

Say no, it's too much for you to do. They will have to arrange a pet sitter or kennels, it's not your responsibility.

If you do it once they'll think they can ask anytime they go away.

Being a friend is not taking on their responsibilities.

If people choose to have dogs they need to be responsible for organising and paying for their care if they want to go away.

C'mon, take the dog. Its one night.

Your 10 min away, surely its possible to pop round every 3 or 4 hours or so, then 11pm then 6/7am the next day. An older dog is usually happier in its own home.
It sounds like your brother and family do the heavy lifting with your dads care, so I’d and be helpful if you can.

It’s not their dog - it’s her fathers and he is in hospital so can’t look after it.

Ignore the friend part, I realise it's family. But my point is the same.

I think if you’d led with the info re recovering from c section, you’d have got different responses.

My vote would have been pain dog sitter or kennels but I see you’ve been kind and agreed to have the dog.

Id see if the dog behaves better when not at Christmas. The whole family there and chaos of it might have made him more barky. He might be better with some adaptil ?
I think it would be nice if it could work because you might get a dog sitter sometimes too

I would do it for one night

The OP has 3 small children, including a baby, and she's recovering from a csection. I'm sure 'popping around' every 3-4 hours is not a great idea for her at the moment.

ANd, no, it doesn't sound like the OP's brother is doing 'the heavy lifting' with anyone's care.

Thank you for your kind words.

It would honestly take weeks to get the house clean. Df used to clean the house but gave up when he was the only one doing it.

I think you're being unreasonable. Your father is going into hospital and DB has a prearranged trip.

I would absolutely put up with one night of barking to make sure he didn't have anything to worry about other than the issue he's going into hospital for.

Get each dog a Kong so they're focused on them

Your dfs living conditions are a different issue but was his fall due to the state of the house? If you think your dfs health is at risk you need to speak to your brother at some point - is it your dfs house?

I think that looking after a dog is always a big ask.

If it doesn't work at yours the dog would probably be happier just sleeping at its own.

Can you put it somewhere with an easy cleanable floor just in case?

I’d say no too.
DB needs to learn that if he can’t train his dog then it affects his life . Up untill
now it hasn’t as it’s your poor dad that’s been dealing with this nonsense.