Should she replace it? Part 3

[Langarg]

I can’t believe we have a part 3 🤣 this has provided some lighthearted entertainment at a time where I’m feeling really let down by someone I considered a good friend. So thank you! I have posted an update on thread 2, will post it here also.

I have sent the following text message ‘Having reflected on what you have said, how the airwrap was lost/broken or otherwise is irrelevant. I considered asking you for pictures of the broken airwrap or asking to speak to your sister to ask her what happened but it will get us nowhere. All that matters is I am down a Dyson airwrap and I want a new replacement. You’ll need to either transfer me the £399 tonight to pay for this or purchase it yourself from boots and send me the email receipt this evening. You can then sort out with your sister whether she is going to contribute to the cost of it. We can then put this behind us’

I have no interest in maintaining the friendship after this for obvious reasons. I am worried that she’s seen the thread (how can she not have 🤣) and knows this fine well so will have no intention of replacing it sadly.

I don’t think I’ll ever get the truth (was there even a wedding at this rate?! 🤣) all that matters to me now is getting a replacement airwrap!!!!

OP should tell CF before filing her claim on MCOL - in a "Letter Before Action" detailing the basis of her claim and the amount she proposes to claim (cost of AirWrap, claim costs - at least filing and hearing costs - and Statutory Interest at 8%) and drawing CF's attention to the Pre-action Protocols. This is the correct procedure.

Obviously, I don't know the 'friend' here (although others on this thread seem to), so I can't speak for her intentions in any way...

But I have known (and known of) more people than I'd like to think for whom the word 'friend' simply doesn't mean somebody they like, respect and admire for who they are and want to treat kindly (all reciprocated, of course).

For them, it's literally a synonym for somebody who has something significant that they personally can benefit from (not reciprocated except in the tiniest, most nominal ways). They know the pretence of caring about them that they have to maintain to 'keep the supply pipes warm', but they only really view them as a commodity and a mug.

A lot of them are very cunning and will plan a long time ahead, if they know you have something that they might want at some time in the future - even if, say, it's something like a large inheritance they know will be coming your way before too long from a very elderly and/or ill relative.

They're a more mundane, forward-thinking version of all the 'best frends' that you suddenly find that you have swarming around you, should you ever be lucky enough to win big on the lottery.

Hi airwrap friend 👋 You hair looks great. Now get another one xoxo

Op ignore the numpties saying they wouldn't have asked friend for replacement or posted about it and would have let it go I'm sure they really would have not.

No one would be happy to have a friend tell them lie after lie and refuse to replace it or even hand back the damaged Dyson in hope that they could pay for the repair if it's damaged it would still be under warranty or could be sent off to be repaired at cost that's what I'm also finding hard to believe here if her sister broke it why not hand it back without dragging out all these odd stories to begin with.

And also no one would be happy to be £400 down and just shrug it off wouldn't happen.

If your friend is tight for money she should never have asked to borrow it in first place if I had someone's expensive item and knew if I broke it or lost it I couldn't replace it I wouldn't have asked, then again I'm not one for asking to borrow expensive stuff would do without the stress and worry.

Only two things I don't agree with that's been said is going round to hers that will escalate things further and not in a good way, you could get hurt or you might whack her emotions run high and when someone feels they are being backed into a corner at their own home it's never a good outcome.

Also I wouldn't bother with the small claims court thing either and sadly the police won't do sod all.

It's horrible but I think the best thing you can do is buy that Dyson on offer yourself and if she does come through sell or return the one you bought to get your money back but I would look to purchase it now while on offer and chalk this up as one of those life experiences of sadly no one can be trusted with other people's belongings never a borrower or a lender.

If she’d broken it and wasn’t doing something sneaky, she would have come honestly straight back to the owner after the wedding and told her, with all apologies, and asked if she could help try to get it repaired under warranty, offer to pay if there was a charge for labour.

Instead, she ignored the need to give the thing back to its owner until the OP asked for it, then came back with a litany of contradictory and provably ridiculous lies, and has done everything to avoid giving back the supposedly broken item. Why not do that one very simple thing? Because it’s not broken, she has either sold it, given it away, or is trying to keep hold of it for herself.

If you believe your own hypothesis, I have a bridge to sell you.

If I were going to do that, I'd just do it. Making threats is a waste of energy if you aren't going to carry them out, and if you are, then why in the name of all that is holy would you feel the need to announce it.

The OP has been more than patient.

I'm not sure I'd go down the small claims route but if you wanted to I wonder whether threatening it would be enough to do something -

If you don't pay me today I'm going to issue a claim against you and then you'll have to pay me back the cost of the airwrap plus the court issue fee or face a county court judgment.

Because informing the other party is part of the process?

CF did offer this originally but it was fro a second hand £150 one off Facebook market place and was an older model than OPs. So nowhere near a like for like replacement - OP would have been worse off.

In fairness, "friend" does seem to have been rather busy here trying to sell the argument that the act of posting about effectively having £500 worth of property stolen from you and asking advice on how to retrieve it is more reprehensible than actual theft itself.

She's worked herself into a frenzy of self righteous indignation so she's probably exhausted, poor thing.

Yes! You really need support to try something different. I have done some equally funny miss Marplesque stuff when developing my own boundaries. I’m still not there but a heck of a lot better. She’s actually amazing imv to reach out to MN!!

have lovely days everyone!

and we await the next installment ( because we learn too!)

I wouldnt threaten small claims, id just do it. The first step is a 'Letter of Action' anyway, which outlines your case and is a warning. Normally it doesnt get past that as other party sees you have a strong case and begins negotiating. Courts like to see you have negotiated. All this can be done via email. I would not do any more texting now, or phonecalls or visits.

Also, small claims process can be thrown out at anytime because you have reached an agreement - so no need for the threat. Just start process and see what happens. If she works, and you know where she and her husband work, she will know quickly she hasnt a leg to stand on and risks garnishing and bailiffs. So the process starting is the best way forward I feel.

Be wary though that at any point in the process if she offers a payment plan I wouldnt trust it. I would want that court ordered because otherwise, given her track record, I would expect that there would be excuses after excuses at each payment day. So I would want paying in full, a replacement OR a court ordered payment plan.

HTH.

If the friend has read this, I’m also not surprised she isn’t replying to OP, as she knows it will end up on the internet.

Yes. That's what I meant.

Don't "threaten" to start the process. Start it.

Letter before action and no other correspondence (unless it's "We thank you for your payment"). Job done.

WHAT has happened to the AirWrap is irrelevant. The point is OP has been deprived of it by CF and will be making a claim for money (to replace it) in the Civil court. It's absolutely the right thing to do - after writing CF a "Letter Before Action" laying out the basis of her claim and how much she is suing CF for.

Also, small claims process can be thrown out at anytime because you have reached an agreement

With costs paid though.

I don't believe I ever suggested 'threatening' anything.

By formal 'letter of action' - yes. But people are recommending by text first as a threat/warning. That isnt part of the process. It needs to be done officially now by letter.

I’d now give her a time frame. Tell her I want a response by midday otherwise I am lodging a claim with small claims court.

OP - you have been reasonable throughout this. You have been guilted into lending it, ghosted (as remember she originally didn’t even tell you about the AW for weeks), lied to repeatedly and emotionally blackmailed by this friend. It doesn’t matter if the item was worth £1 or £500 - that is not how you treat a friend under any circumstance, but the fact that you are also £500 out of pocket makes it even worse. She has damaged your property - she needs to replace it.
its up to you whether you want to go down small claims court - but i don’t think you should go round to her house - I don’t think you’ll get a positive outcome by doing that.

No, it's a Civil claim for damages (money) - theft is a criminal matter.

Why wouldn’t you bother? OP will win as it’s clear cut and the OP’s friend will have her wages garnished. A lot of posters don’t understand how small claims court works.

I don't suppose your household insurance (or her) would cover the cost of a replacement would it?

Exactly! Its like an hour of OPs time to fill out application, to pretty much guarantee you will get £500 quid plus costs back at some point, plus the principle that CF didnt get away with it. Totally worth it!!

As I advised OP in thread 1 or 2 (can't remember which) if CF finally decides to do the decent thing and buy a replacement for her, OP should ask her to get a gift receipt with it which transfers full consumer rights from the purchaser to the gift recipient 😊