Should she replace it? Part 3

[Langarg]

I can’t believe we have a part 3 🤣 this has provided some lighthearted entertainment at a time where I’m feeling really let down by someone I considered a good friend. So thank you! I have posted an update on thread 2, will post it here also.

I have sent the following text message ‘Having reflected on what you have said, how the airwrap was lost/broken or otherwise is irrelevant. I considered asking you for pictures of the broken airwrap or asking to speak to your sister to ask her what happened but it will get us nowhere. All that matters is I am down a Dyson airwrap and I want a new replacement. You’ll need to either transfer me the £399 tonight to pay for this or purchase it yourself from boots and send me the email receipt this evening. You can then sort out with your sister whether she is going to contribute to the cost of it. We can then put this behind us’

I have no interest in maintaining the friendship after this for obvious reasons. I am worried that she’s seen the thread (how can she not have 🤣) and knows this fine well so will have no intention of replacing it sadly.

I don’t think I’ll ever get the truth (was there even a wedding at this rate?! 🤣) all that matters to me now is getting a replacement airwrap!!!!

@Langarg £449 currently in Curry's.

I really dont think you should go to her home. She could use that against you in court as 'intimidation'. You could also genuinely feel intimidated (I would), but also you could be drawn into more excuses and more drama. I dont see what good would come of it.

I can see lots of people urging you head straight to court and I understand how let down and angry you must feel but speaking from personal experience, I would urge caution. If you now ex-friend is as broke as she claims, even when you get a judgement in your favour there is still no guarantee of you getting your money back. The chances are you will end up further out of pocket once you've paid the court fees.
My advice is to get her to return the broken AirWrap and send it off to Dyson for it to be repaired and CF can pay for it.

Totally this. Assuming the naysayer aren't CF and/or people CF knows, it's amusing to see how unglued some people become when a woman has the temerity to assert herself.

CF's financial situation is not the over-riding issue here - it has nothing to do with being a decent human being and friend. CF should have phoned OP as soon as the AirWrap was lost/stolen/broken (who knows what lie the CF will come up with next?) and fallen on her sword. She should have apologised profusely, explained TRUTHFULLY what happened to it, and promised to replace it as soon as she could figure out how to pay for it. With this decent approach, I'm sure OP would have been more understanding and between them they could have come up with a solution around affordability e.g. they would have discovered it was on offer (so cheaper than OP paid) and/or there are some retailers offering it with interest-free payments, which CF could have managed. And if CF had done the right and decent thing in the first place, OP wouldn't even have posted on MN! 🙄

Haven't read the full thread. Sorry about the loss of your air wrap. I have always wanted one but can't afford it so I'm sure you're gutted.

I'm not surprised she's not stopped answering your messages though because she knows that whatever she says to you will be posted on the thread for all to see. So maybe a new air wrap will appear without her saying anything?

In this situation though, I genuinely wouldn't have the money to instantly replace it. I don't think I'd have borrowed it in the first place though for that very reason, but she can't change that now- so maybe her actions are because she's really really panicky about how she'll find the money to fix this. Not defending her behaviour of course, and maybe she shouldn't have borrowed it to start with but like I say, if I suddenly had to pay out £400 tomorrow I genuinely wouldn't be able to do so- I have to save up for things and desperately hope for no car emergencies or similar.

I assume if she was a good enough friend for you to lend it in the first place, she's not completely horrible though? So hopefully she'll come good or at least communicate with you clearly and honestly (but like I say maybe not if she thinks the messages will end up on here). It would be sad to lose a friend over this.

Sorry that should say- I'm not surprised she's stopped answering your messages

It will cost £50 to file, and the CF will have to pay that back to the OP plus £500 for the airwrap. If her and her partner have jobs, they should be able to get it out of them via their wages. It will be a slam dunk.

I agree with the part about secure boundaries as OP doenst have them already and has admitted as much. MN has been a thinking space for her “how could I do this differently“, she’s tried different things. Overall this space has helped her to practice asserting herself with some cheerleaders on the side . She has done that in the best way available to her right now.

the important thing is she has grown a part of herself that may not allow this sort of thing in the future.

well done OP I say!!

Has the broken air wrap been offered back to you? Assuming the most recent story that the sister broke it is now true?

For those worried about how the cf can afford to repay.

I am sure if she had genuinely felt bad and promised the op £100 per month paid on 1st if each month with £100 sent now, the op would probably have accepted this (and of course could still pursue the rest if the extra payments are not made)

But the cf is avoiding any sort of offer of a payment plan.

I totally agree, and for the thousands of women reading it is actually helping others like her (me) to think about what they would do in similar situations with our own CFers. I think there are hoards of us cheerleading the OP because we can maybe see ourselves in her. Its so easy to roll over and just accept poor behaviour, but its important to have strong boundaries and stand firm. Not always comfortable, but very very important.

Well done OP. I think you are fabulous.

Sorry if I imagined this.. did she say for you to buy one and she'll pay you back in 3 installments? Why not tell her you have replaced it and text her what the payments are?

After all the lies the friend has already admitted to, do you really believe she would do this?

Exactly! But CF has proven not to be trusted. So now a court will have to sort that. It may very well be that they order a payment plan. But then its court ordered and out of OPs hands which is important because CF will abuse OPs trust again I fear.

My understanding is that she said this but for a £150 second hand one on ebay. Which is exactly the same, of course

Small Claims Court may give you a judgement, but that's not that same thing as getting the money....

Yes true but if OP still needs an airwrap and can take advantage of the Boots deal, then she has an amount to claim and receipt for the claims court if she goes down that route.

I’d be doing it out of principle now. If no payment is then forthcoming she’ll have a CCJ. After that escalate it to the high court and then send in the bailiffs. Remember, she tried to fuck you - I’d have zero qualms about fucking her as hard as possible.

Wow, hope your wrist doesn’t break from all that reaching.

That last shitty comment applies firmly to the cheeky fucker who manipulated the OP into lending her a very expensive piece of kit when she wasn’t even invited to the bloody wedding!

Thankfully, the OP has received excellent support from fellow MN’ers and has learnt some useful skills including how to see through cheeky fucker so called friends and to be more assertive, going forwards.

Sadly, I suspect that the CF friend has learnt nothing from this debacle. Those types rarely have any insight into their own shortcomings and will probably reach old age with zero friends and will be utterly clueless as to the reason why.

You might like to ponder on this last statement a while @Pickledpoppetpickle

If either of them work then it is isnt it? They will garnish their wages if theres a judgement in OPs favour.

Then you really need to tell her you are considering Small Claims. That will put the fear into her and she'll reply very quickly.

Honestly I'd suck it up and buy a new one myself today (if you have the money available) and chase her for it through small claims as otherwise she won't buy it today and you'll be without an airwrap and having to replace it at full price eventually.

Don't go to her home, that could be deemed as harassment.

Don't risk it.
Small Claims court is the cleanest way.
Include all her lies, blackening the hotels name, the lot.