DP only wants to eat luxury food but doesn’t bring a luxury wage?

[Stargreystar]

I earn well, 6 figures and my DP is a tradie earning circa 30k a year.

He seems to think just because I earn well he should only eat luxury food from m&s. We are not married yet but he discussed getting a ‘pre-op‘ which I can only assume means a prenup. However he has no assets or money so it’s merely to give him what I’ve earned.

When you put it like this it makes me want to run for the hills.

You are not financially compatible.

You are not intellectually compatible.

You are not emotionally compatible.

He is emotionally abusive - silent treatment and using your trauma against you is despicable.

He's a leech.

He has DEBTS!! Urghhh red flags.

He will not be a good role model to raise your children.

If you don't end things and go on to have children with him, as a SAHD, he'll get custody, and you'll have to pay him child maintenance, and maybe even your house. Either way, as the non-resident parent and higher earner, you'll be worse off and bankrolling him still.

Please end things with him, he's really not a nice man. You are not compatible, and I'm sorry, but the other commenters are right, he's using you for your salary.

Please develop the ICK and end it. Don't forget to change the locks and remove your Applepay from his phone.

This shouldn't really be about he earns less or can't say pre nup properly. The basic problem is that you have different attitudes to money. You say you want to save whereas he wants to spend. That is such a basic foundation in a relationship that if this is the case, you might as well end it now.

I guess the big question is ... How good in bed is he really? Because it sounds like it could be fairly expensive.

10/10 - never been left without a happy ending there. But obviously not all about that.

Dump him, buy a dildo and save your money

No. But why would you? He saw you coming.

I think as much as he’s using you, you are also using him?

For?

Good! Please do... Except he's the one who needs to leave, of course. Note what the PP said about lovebombing and make sure you have practical and emotional support to see this through. A much happier future awaits.

You're using him for sex and to potentially conceive, yes?

i don’t know but I’m just asking you the question, maybe it suits you because he is good in bed ?

I am not TTC. I have an implant in.

Plenty men have relationships like this dynamic so it works for some relationships

What are you going to do, OP?

Wanting companionship, intimacy and a family life is not unreasonable - she's just chosen the wrong person. OP is emotionally vulnerable due to her past and clearly being exploited.

This.

Why would you WANT to work past contempt?
Just wake up, do you really want a relationship with someone who treats you with contempt?
But no, I don't think one can work past contempt. He showing you what he thinks of you, and you need to throw him out. No debate needed, which is lucky as he doesn't seem to like debate anyway.
Make 2025 your year- go and get some therapy on how to avoid relationships like these and build a brilliant life for yourself.

Is this ment to be a brag post?🤔🙄

Honestly the simple fact you don't have the convo right this minute and remove the card speaks volumes. Please don't have a relationship with a man that is willing to live off you like that. not attractive and also will end up with everything when you split in a marriage situation.

Well he’s asleep after a night of the silent treatment so can’t do a great deal.

@Stargreystar You said earlier you were planning to have children in the future, I assumed you meant with your current partner.

In the future, so therefore I’m not trying to conceive or ‘use’ him for a baby.

@Loveshoney It's absolutely not unreasonable. I was responding to OP's earlier comment that he's good in bed and that's about it, and she was planning to have children in the future. She obviously finds him pretty contemptible.

Hon Silent treatment is actually abuse.

Oh come on! So much wrong with this thread starting with a tradie that only earns 30k. No surprise it’s a midnight thread.