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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sleep with a 25 year old

568 replies

Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 20:28

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 01/01/2025 21:16

It’s fine - 25 is properly grown up.

It’s going to be a fling at most, but that can be a great thing.

Gem359 · 01/01/2025 21:17

You wouldn't see men your age worrying about whether it was inappropriate if it was reversed, they'd be in there without a second thought!

And that's what your facing if you're looking for a decent man your own age IMO, they all want someone younger so you're left looking at 50 year olds - and at that age men are way past their best IMO.

You don't have to have sex the first time you go out. Go on a few dates and have a laugh, if he's pushy about sex and you don't want it then call it off.

JacquesHarlow · 01/01/2025 21:17

Tink3rbell30 · 01/01/2025 20:54

Sounds like you're going to do it regardless and didn't really want to take note of opinions. Gross 🤢

Sounds like someone is so keen to shame the OP because they have no chance of the opportunity themselves

TENSsion · 01/01/2025 21:18

Errors · 01/01/2025 21:16

FFS she is 43 not 73! Hardly an old lady!

Show quote history

I used quotation marks to indicate this would be what a 25 year old would consider to be old.

Errors · 01/01/2025 21:19

JacquesHarlow · 01/01/2025 21:17

Sounds like someone is so keen to shame the OP because they have no chance of the opportunity themselves

Show quote history

My thoughts exactly

JustRollWithIt · 01/01/2025 21:19

Sounds like you want to. I just couldn't even think that way mentally towards that age group, but that's probably because I have a son approaching that age bracket. Morally, without hesitation, it'd be an automatic unthinkable no from me.

GreatTheCat · 01/01/2025 21:20

I couldn't. Only because at your age I had a 26 year old.

If I didn't, yes I'd go for it.

JacquesHarlow · 01/01/2025 21:21

The OP’s post is a timely reminder to me that many women would rather see a confident, slim and attractive contemporary in their 40s , disappear or immediately get re-married, than go out there and have fun and be confident.

It’s like everyone who has inadvertently or otherwise become frumpy and tired, believes all women should be that way in case the existence of a fab sexually happy women threatens to ruin their existence or somehow turn their DH’s head

Some of the replies on here such as “grim” just show me that we have a long way to go. A 43 year old man would be backslapped by his peers.

You go @Lolalovestheflowers . Your existence doesn’t threaten me or warrant me posting a catty or reductive response.

yipyipyop · 01/01/2025 21:22

I wouldn't. I'm sure if it was the other way round replies would be saying it's as creepy af

Original poster
Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 21:23

I can't believe someone just said desperate 🤣😂😂 I am so far from desperate. I get enough attention from men my own age. I just wasn't looking.
This scenario has pooped up, i wasnt sniffing around him at all .
I'm happy amd content in my world and I'm looking amd feeling good for the first time in years. my bmi is down to 22 , I have changed my whole image and I'm training for a half marathon. He would be lucky to have me. Am I flattered? Yes of course I am , but that doesn't equate to desperation. I bet you wouldn't say desperate if I was a man.
After some huge life changing stuff and an abusive marriage , there's nothing wrong with me wanting some fun.
You can give your opinion by try to leave the misogyny and nasty names out of this.

OP posts:
thecherryfox · 01/01/2025 21:24

You’re a single woman and he is a reasonably aged adult. There’s no issue here, enjoy girlie 😂

Bogginsthe3rd · 01/01/2025 21:24

This is not morally wrong, it's morally repugnant. Imagine the reverse of this. The man would be flamed on Mumsnet. The fact he lives 6 doors down should by itself put you off enough.

MaiAamWaliHun · 01/01/2025 21:25

Why not, he is an adult man and it could be fun. I would be more cautious that he lives near and you keep bumping into him so it could get awkward later--- but don't let that stop you either.

petedicks · 01/01/2025 21:25

Go for it and report back op. I'm a similar age to you op and got with a 26 year old this year. Oh he talked a great game, massively pursued me... And then hugely embarrassed himself bless him.

Now the 57 year old on the other hand...

HPandthelastwish · 01/01/2025 21:25

@JacquesHarlow that's because 43 year old men and their backslappin' friends are grim.

OP is welcome to go have as much fun as she likes with age appropriate ie within a decade of her age as much as she likes, posters just aren't keen on her going at it with someone that could be her son.

Original poster
Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 21:26

Rewis · 01/01/2025 21:13

Assuming you don't have kids who are over tha age of 20 then go for it. He is 25, he's pursueing you, you've met when you're both sober.

Yes we've seen each other in our local shop both sober middle of the day

OP posts:
Icanttakethisanymore · 01/01/2025 21:26

He’s a consenting adult and you are not in a position of power or authority over him; if you like him, go for it.

Chester23 · 01/01/2025 21:27

I've slept with someone 15 years old than me. Was just a bit of fun. Happened twice. We're friends.

If you want to, I say go for it

Tink3rbell30 · 01/01/2025 21:29

JacquesHarlow · 01/01/2025 21:17

Sounds like someone is so keen to shame the OP because they have no chance of the opportunity themselves

Show quote history

That doesn't make sense. Sex is easy to get if anyone wants it, men will shag anything. I definitely wouldn't go near someone slightly older than my child and I'm younger than her. She asked for opinions, it's creepy.

IridiumSky · 01/01/2025 21:31

JacquesHarlow · 01/01/2025 21:21

The OP’s post is a timely reminder to me that many women would rather see a confident, slim and attractive contemporary in their 40s , disappear or immediately get re-married, than go out there and have fun and be confident.

It’s like everyone who has inadvertently or otherwise become frumpy and tired, believes all women should be that way in case the existence of a fab sexually happy women threatens to ruin their existence or somehow turn their DH’s head

Some of the replies on here such as “grim” just show me that we have a long way to go. A 43 year old man would be backslapped by his peers.

You go @Lolalovestheflowers . Your existence doesn’t threaten me or warrant me posting a catty or reductive response.

Hear hear! Well said.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 01/01/2025 21:32

Go on and have some fun.

PresidentMacron · 01/01/2025 21:33

I 'ave 'eard of worse...

You could be the making of' im.

Sassybooklover · 01/01/2025 21:33

What have you got to lose?! Keep it simple. He's probably not going to stick around too long, he's young, so enjoy it for what it is and for how long it lasts! If I were in your shoes, I'd be accepting an invitation for dinner/drinks whatever!!

TENSsion · 01/01/2025 21:34

Sassybooklover · 01/01/2025 21:33

What have you got to lose?! Keep it simple. He's probably not going to stick around too long, he's young, so enjoy it for what it is and for how long it lasts! If I were in your shoes, I'd be accepting an invitation for dinner/drinks whatever!!

She’s just moved to the village. He could make life very unpleasant for her if he turns out to be a nob.

AsTheLightFades · 01/01/2025 21:35

Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 20:52

It wouldn't be any of my business if she was 25. I'd be more concerned about how she was treated and if he was nice to her and she was safe

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Oh well, if that makes you feel better and excuses you wanting to sleep with someone who could be your son, fill your boots.

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