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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To sleep with a 25 year old

568 replies

Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 20:28

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

OP posts:
JHound · 02/01/2025 17:10

I saw elsewhere you live in a small village and he lives nearby which would make me hesitate. But it seems like most of your potential options will be men in your village so…I guess that’s your risk to take!

JHound · 02/01/2025 17:14

Brioche7 · 02/01/2025 14:59

A man wouldn’t post about something like this. He would just do it.

Yep! When my friend separated from his wife he had a phase of sleeping around before meeting his current partner.

He had a short fling with a 18 year old and he was about 46 at the time. He did not ask anybody what they thought- he just did it (I cannot recall where they met but she was the one who chased him.)

She wanted something lasting but he found her too immature in the end. He said the sex was great though.

NPET · 02/01/2025 17:17

Why are so many people saying it's wrong based on "swapping the genders"?

A. If it was the other way round all the men would be saying "go for it, if you can get a babe, you're a lucky man".

B. That's all irrelevant. We should be supporting women here, so provided it's legal, and SHE is happy with it, then it's wonderful!

NewGreenDuck · 02/01/2025 17:19

I'm not supporting a woman just because she is a woman. I'll support a woman if I feel she is right. In this case I don't.

Dotto · 02/01/2025 17:29

I don't know why everyone is assuming OP lives in Ambridge, with no capacity to get outside of her village for work or a social life!

We ignore most people in our village. A great deal of them are small minded, racist, fox-hunt supporting idiots.

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 02/01/2025 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Can you explain this? Because I thought a rapist was someone who forces sex onto an unconsenting victim, not a person considering sleeping with a younger person who seems to be voluntarily pursuing the sex?

Strange comment and very insulting to, you know, real rape victims? Xmas ConfusedXmas Hmm

StarlightLady · 02/01/2025 17:35

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 02/01/2025 17:33

Can you explain this? Because I thought a rapist was someone who forces sex onto an unconsenting victim, not a person considering sleeping with a younger person who seems to be voluntarily pursuing the sex?

Strange comment and very insulting to, you know, real rape victims? Xmas ConfusedXmas Hmm

This! This and this!

liveforsummer · 02/01/2025 18:03

Personally I can’t imagine ever being interested in a man young enough by a long way, to be my child however the biggest issue for me is where he lives. I know, unfortunately through experience, how awkward it can be to get involved with a neighbour 😅. Not something I’d care to repeat!

LalaPaloosa2024 · 02/01/2025 18:25

Absolutely go for it!! It sounds like it’s what you need and deserve! Have fun 😉

JHound · 02/01/2025 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why would a man having consensual sex with a 25 year old be a rapist?

LalaPaloosa2024 · 02/01/2025 18:30

Tink3rbell30 · 01/01/2025 20:36

No that's weird and creepy, plenty of men available in your age bracket.

But most are fat and bald. Why shouldn’t she have some fun with another consenting adult who is actually attractive?

Lavenderflower · 02/01/2025 18:32

This wouldn't be for me but I would say you only live once. I would say be extra careful with protection - a woman I know got pregnant and had a daughter

Pinkdhalia · 02/01/2025 18:33

Who’s to say it’s wrong? It’s not wrong. It’s your business and his. You are not the first person to fancy a person younger than themselves! My second husband was 18 years younger than. He was 23 when we married. Enjoy your life !

diamondpony80 · 02/01/2025 18:51

When I first saw 25 I thought of course, just go for it. But when I saw "6 doors down", that would be a no go for me. Could get very awkward.

Tink3rbell30 · 02/01/2025 18:57

LalaPaloosa2024 · 02/01/2025 18:30

But most are fat and bald. Why shouldn’t she have some fun with another consenting adult who is actually attractive?

Of course they're not. Because it's a weird age gap, 25 is very young. I'm younger than her and would still find it odd, the maturity levels for one are majorly different. Never good to shit where you eat aswell as becoming the latest topic of a good laugh for a bunch of young men.

YDBear · 02/01/2025 19:19

“Morally wrong?” How? Two consenting adults. Have fun.

Meltdown247 · 02/01/2025 19:20

Lolalovestheflowers · 01/01/2025 20:28

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

Usually I always say go for it to these posts. But this looks like you may well be shitting on your own doorstep and you will regret that later. Plenty more young hunks in the sea!

Rednotdead · 02/01/2025 19:35

Does he still live with his parents?

Firefly1987 · 02/01/2025 20:01

Tink3rbell30 · 02/01/2025 14:46

There's 15 pages with various reasons why people think it's creepy. Plenty of men avaliable that aren't young ones in a completely different age bracket who will probably make her their latest joke in the group chat. Equally creepy for a man in their 40s to want to shag a young woman too.

Where are all these plenty of men available? Probably divorced with loads of baggage if there are any single ones.

Deepf60 · 02/01/2025 20:04

Have some fun! If you don't try it you will never know just take it one day at a time. I'm in my 70s been dating a man in his 40s for 3 years! It's the best time I've ever had.Good luck.

Nantescalling · 02/01/2025 20:05

wtf does it matter what anybody else thinks? Neither your friends, his friends, family, colleagues' opinions matter. No reason why it shouldonly be a one night stand but if it is, does that latter? Go for it, you both want to !

JaffaCake70 · 02/01/2025 20:08

You were 18 when he was born.... this fact is all it would take for me to say NO!

CorsicaDreaming · 02/01/2025 20:20

Rednotdead · 02/01/2025 19:35

Does he still live with his parents?

No - she answered that somewhere up the thread. His own place, just down the road.

JohnofWessex · 02/01/2025 20:41

No earthquakes reported so far.............

JHound · 02/01/2025 20:48

Tink3rbell30 · 02/01/2025 18:57

Of course they're not. Because it's a weird age gap, 25 is very young. I'm younger than her and would still find it odd, the maturity levels for one are majorly different. Never good to shit where you eat aswell as becoming the latest topic of a good laugh for a bunch of young men.

Why are you assuming that she will be a topic of laughter for a bunch of young men anymore than a younger woman?

And even if that happens…so?