To sleep with a 25 year old

[Lolalovestheflowers]

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

@Tink3rbell30 it’s up to OP to decide if she wants to risk being mentioned in this hypothetical group chat, to be honest.

And if the Pelicot and Telegram cases are anything to go by, no man of any age is above abhorrent behaviour. She could be hooking up with the 50 year old and next thing she knows she’s filmed without consent for example. It’s not an age thing when it comes to men.

Yes, not sure why she'd want to risk making herself a laughing stock when it's unnecessary but it's up to her. Obviously any man can do it but more likely with the younger ones.

@Tink3rbell30 You seem to view the world only in absolutes. Maybe he won't be laughing and disrespectful. Maybe OP isn't creepy and is measured and careful in her thinking. Maybe, just maybe, there are people on this vast planet who think and behave differently to you.

Go for it OP, you know the score, enjoy yourself!

I had this conversation with one of my friends years ago. My advice was to go for it and enjoy it as long as it lasted because a fling can be great fun. It didn’t work out the way it was supposed to and they celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary next month. They’re absolutely blissful.

I was responding to someone saying ‘so women can do whatever they want’

I will answer this in the same way. Men can do whatever they want too, as long as it’s legal. Although this certainly isn’t a novel concept

I don't think the age gap is a problem, it's the proximity. You've bumped into him in all these places. If it gets weird or goes wrong in some way, or it turns out he is a massive weirdo you're a bit f*cked.

She obviously can’t explain it, can she? Just keeps repeating that it’s creepy and gross but has no idea why. It’s boring.

I've got a 25 year old son, and whilst I like to think I'm open minded and respect the decisions of consenting adults whatever their age might be.....this thread has given me major ick.

So I'm obviously not that open minded.

Test

I have adult children including a son about this age. I think, often, once you see your son and his friends, the idea of seeing them as sexual partners just gives you the ick. I look at them and remember them as little kids and it doesn't seem right.

But you are not comparing like with like. From what the OP has told us, she did not know this man when he was a little kid.

My DS is dating a woman with that much age difference!
It's not up to me to approve or disapprove.
You do what you want but I would think twice just because you both live in the same village and not a town/city.

No but by extension they are all his contemporaries. And therefore not a person I would consider as a sexual partner. It applies to all young men.

Has OP said she is a mother?

I'm explaining why I believe some people get the ick. For some it seems taboo, it's outside what is acceptable.

If you can deal with the aftermath (including emotions), then consider going with it if you both want. If the gender age gap was reversed, no-one would be questioning it?

Others get a kick out of doing what is deemed taboo, or socially 'unacceptable' eh.

It's less usual, but not objectively unacceptable imo.

I don’t see the issue. He is 25 not 17. He is suitably mature and you are going into it with eyes wide open knowing this probably won’t go anywhere.

Have fun!

Why would she be called a “skank” for having sex?

And why would the opinions of misogynists concern her?

What makes you think that? Why would anybody tell a young women to run from a casual arrangement with an older man if she was more than happy to engage in that and see it for what it was?

Er, yes, swapping the sexes doesn't make it less yuck.

Go get him sis! Just ignore any1 who tells you he's too young for you. If you want him - grab him. At 25 his "physical side" should be just about right iykwim.

Why do you see a casual sex encounter between a woman and a man as the woman being “pumped and dumped”?

Why is he not seen as the one being “pumped and dumped”?

Age gaps don’t necessarily mean the younger person was “groomed”.