To sleep with a 25 year old

[Lolalovestheflowers]

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

Fucking hell, calm down Jane Austen.

Bless you. I've known women like you before. It takes a certain type of women to feel good tearing another down.
Enjoy being another part of the patriarchy Sounds like your a key member, good job 👏

This has made me laugh 😃

Not a problem at all. I did in my early 40s.

20 something young men have a thing about women in their 40s from what I've heard.

It's equally as creepy and gross if it was the other way round. And absolutely nobody is jealous, sex is easy to get.

If this was a guy posting, people would be giving him a much harder time here.

All the best to you

I've not read the whole thread just OPs comments but having slept with some older men in the last 10 years, my first thought was ooh yes, I bet he'd stay hard.

Apologies to older men who manage to do so for the duration
No apologies for being utterly filthy.

I think it is different.

Firstly there is a long history of men using and abusing women for their own sexual needs, including child abuse. There is also still huge risks to women from men.

Men are at far less risk of sexual abuse and exploitation than women. Women are less able to physically overpower and intimidate men.

Also, if it were a 25 year old woman who was actively but respectfully pursuing and older man for their own sexual satisfaction and the man in question was in no way vulnerable then there is nothing wrong with that.

However, men are far more likely to be sexually coercive and rape and sexual assault by male perpetrators is still extremely common. There is a power differential. Women have less power. Therefore the man in this scenario is not in anyway at risk.

Why is it creepy?

They're legally consenting adults. If he was 18, I would agree, but he's 25, perfectly capable of making his own mind up.

Not only burned at the stake, you’d also be barred from the flowershow committee. I for one think that’s something to keep in mind!

Oh go for it!! Enjoy yourself. Life is too short. Yes, there are lots of young men that like an older woman and lots of older women that like younger man. Man being the operative word because he’s an adult. I love being attractive to younger men whether they have a milf fantasy or an older woman fantasy, I couldn’t care less. I have a great time. People who judge you, that’s a them problem

Not creepy and icky at all. As I have posted earlier, I had a relationship with a 43 year old woman when I was 25. We were open and honest about what we wanted, and no I did not go bragging to any friends or entered into any banter. We got together after spending some time in each other's company and there was and always has been, mutual respect and trust. It was a lovely, gentle, fulfilling time and there was no shallowness or negativity around it, or any regret by either of us. We simply gained.

What on earth is so gross about it?

Some of you are acting like he's a child. He's 25, for goodness sake. Do you all infantilise all people in their mid-20s?

if they're both happy to go for it and can agree on what it is they're looking for out of it and are realistic-what is the problem?

Oh, get over yourself.

Morally repugnant? Get a fucking grip.

OP, I suspect a lot of these replies of "desperate," "grim," "creepy," "gross" and now-"morally repugnant," are coming from women who, at your age, had zero chance of attracting a man in his mid-20s.

There's nothing wrong with saying that you, yourself, wouldn't feel comfortable doing it-but it's a huge leap to say that it's creepy or, indeed, morally repugnant.

Who is she harming here? A full-grown adult who has probably had his fair share of flings before?

So long as both of them are aware of what it is and what they want-it's fine. It's not likely to turn into anything serious, so what is the problem? Do you all think people in their mid-20s are children now?

Not morally wrong at all . I'd go for it but also keep an open mind that it probably will be a just a physical thing

Wrong. I think it's creepy and gross and I'm younger than her. You only have to go around the pubs in any town on the weekends to see how the mid 20's men generally behave. Sex is extremely easy to get so the boring jealous card doesn't work with that one.

What precisely is creepy and gross about two fully-grown adults being attracted to each other and pursuing it on a physical level?

Come on-explain it. You keep saying "creepy" and "gross" without explaining why it is creepy and gross for two legally consenting fully-grown adults to have sex with each other.

There's 15 pages with various reasons why people think it's creepy. Plenty of men avaliable that aren't young ones in a completely different age bracket who will probably make her their latest joke in the group chat. Equally creepy for a man in their 40s to want to shag a young woman too.

I specifically asked you to define why you think it is creepy and gross.

Come along. Explain.

How do you know he will make her their latest joke? She could equally make him her joke in her group chat, couldn't she? After all, he could be her exploit as much as she is his.

So, again, since you seem incapable of answering-why is it creepy and gross for two consenting, fully grown, legal adults to pursue a physical relationship with each other?

Exactly! He might be able to boast to his friends; hopefully he is not like that. But equally, she could tell her friend that he was rubbish in bed.

Or, they might spend their early new years grinning like a Cheshire cat!

A man wouldn’t post about something like this. He would just do it.

Some of the comments here are fucking mental. Pure mumsnet. How is the OP a skank? He's pursued her? Jeez. Uptight pearl clutching strange little place sometimes. Go for it OP, my OH is 10 years younger than me (not quite the same obv but no one has ever batted an eyelid), we've been together 8 years and have 2 children :)

Again I've explained a couple of times now, maybe read the thread again if you're overly invested in people's reasonings as lots think the same as me so maybe quote them all to clarify their reasons also. I've just said why I think it's creepy and odd.. obviously the age difference 🤦‍♀️ he will definitely be laughing about her with his friends. There's nothing to laugh about the other way round as it's just weird. Plenty of men in her age bracket available, no need to creep around young men, especially the age that could be her children. But if she wants to then no amount of strangers saying it's weird on here will stop her.

You are in the minority though, aren't you, according to the poll.

You are also imagining that she will be ridiculed and "obviously the age difference" isn't an actual reason, just repetition of a stupid stereotype.