To sleep with a 25 year old

[Lolalovestheflowers]

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

If it were a 43 year old man being egged on to have a fun shag with a 25 year old woman and report back I'd describe that as grim.

I've shagged loads of much younger men, but wouldn't shag someone so physically close. Even a road away would be ok, but 6 doors away? Nah.

There actually are loads of men in their 20s who will pursue decent-looking women in their 40s and 50s, and you might be surprised how much you turn out to have in common. Especially if you are both somewhat alternative in lifestyle.

Maybe this has skewed my view, but these don't tend to be jack-the-lads, they are just looking for something a bit different. I recognise it from myself at that age when I dated older men - I wanted to learn what they knew. Not just sex, but everything!

That means going into it assuming it will end when he's learned what he wanted to know. The other thing to beware of is not turning into a mother figure, and that can be quite difficult when you realise how much in need of mothering some of them are - which can be another reason they are looking for an older woman.

But going into it looking for a bit of fun is fine! Just maybe not with this guy.

I think it's easy for posters to tell OP to forget what the neighbours/locals think and to go for it. It reality, when the shit hits the fan, and your sexual activities are spread about a pub/group of friends, its very hard to maintain dignity and self-respect. You can't buy your reputation back. You would look like a mad woman sleeping with a man in his 20s.

And I would equally judge a young male in this scenario. I would always be very wary and cautious around a male who would pursue an older woman just for sex/thrills. His reputation would be tarnished imo.

Why did you feel the need to add the word 'slim'? A bigger person can also be very attractive. You're not being too 'sisterly' either

It was the op who drew attention to her weight loss.

Life is short, go for it ❤️

Because OP mentioned she has recently lost weight. Buy no, I don't find overweight people attractive, to each their own. Sorry sister

I obviously don’t think it is enviable, which is why I am not jealous

Well said

Aaron Taylor Johnso who had been groomed when he was a teenager by his director is not exactly a great example.

Obviously none of my business but I'm puzzled that 2 years made such a difference to you. 🤔

17 year gap - split "for obvious reasons"
15 year gap - "love of my life"

Personally, I have no issue with age gap relationships. My partner and I have a 10 year difference. We're also friends with one couple with a 16 year gap and another with a 22 year gap. That last one was probably most controversial as she was 17 and he was 39 when they got together. However, they're still hapily together after almost 30 years.

Too close to home. No room for manoeuvre when or if this peters out. Neighbours talk especially in villages.

No, don't do it. If you were a man asking if it's OK to have sex with a much younger woman then people would say ' yuk'. I don't see any difference. And if he lives nearby then there could be further issues. But I do have a son of about that age, I think it's different when in that position.

But a woman is not a man! She does not look like a man, she does not act like a man and, unlike a male, is not a natural predator.

Living nearby does emphasise the need to end things amicably when they choose to move on. It does not appear that the OP is expecting for ever and ever, amen!

So women can basically do what they want? There is a disparity in age, in experience, in emotional maturity in both scenarios. And she's old enough to be his mum.

Surely you know the Police have a temporal disparity ray gun that they point at couples in the street (whilst hiding in hedges).
If an offence is detected, the miscreants either pay a fixed penalty, or are forced to attend a reeducation course on Mumsnet, where they are shown the error of their ways.
😀

As long as it’s legal, yes. Women can do whatever they want. A novel concept, I know.

So can a man of that age have sex with a younger woman without being told he's a pervert? Because that is often the case when it's debated here

Haha the difference is a man wouldn't ask of it was morally wrong if he wanted to do it he would just do it ... you would never see a question like that asked by a man.
All you have to do is read the misogynistic names I've been called on here to understand why. Men are let off the hook , allowed and forgived... because after all he's a man that's what men are like isn't it ? We have been telling each other for years , oh its just coz hes a man you know what hes like .
The woman on the other hand she shall be burnt at the steak and be labelled village slag for life apparently.

A man wouldn't get the same repercussions and that's why he would never ask , he would just do it or wouldn't.

No, the man wouldn't ask. But many women would have an opinion and label him a pervert.

Op, you're both adults and it's your, and his, private business. Why not, if it feels right? Age is irrelevant as long as you are both adults. I think it sounds good!

Thanks for your opinion , I take all on board as I find it interesting.
I would like to give you some advice though.
Maybe you should take one of those 20 something men out that give you attention in the gym and pub? It may put a smile on your face you seem really uptight

I think you're over egging the oh no one cares if it were a man position. I've seen plenty of threads on here where posters very much care and don't approve.

Rubbish.