To sleep with a 25 year old

[Lolalovestheflowers]

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

Probably because if the genders were reversed MN would be flaming the man and telling the young woman to run from this

I think for a couple of shags, no worries. If either/both develop feelings and it becomes more than a couple of shags, then no imo

But large age gap relationships DO work. Not for me though

The fact that he lives 6 doors away would bother me more than the age. Little chance of privacy in a village

Is his name Wayne?

No 25 year old is called Wayne 😂

Yes. This is a really good point which I hadn't considered

I'm changing my answer to a hard no, now

Taking the age thing out of the equation (you're both adults, and although he's a bit younger than you, he's not a teenager any more - lots of 25yo's have settled down with families so I don't think he's that young), there's obviously chemistry there and provided you both want the same thing from the "relationship" I see no issues at all. But please come back and let us know what happens!!!

I was 31 when I met my wife, she was 47, we've been together over 30 years, married for 27 years. Initially it was a friendship then sex thing, with nothing planned beyond that, we just went with the flow. Almost everyone said it wouldn't work, yet here we are.

@Lolalovestheflowers it is very coincidental, but I was 25 when I commenced a relationship with a 43 year old woman. She had come out of a difficult relationship and her oldest child was only a little younger than me.

Age was never an issue. We were very attracted to each other and our emotions and personalities were in touch. I can honestly say it was a beautiful, loving time and we were together for about a year. The sex was incredible and the chemistry a perfect fit.

It didn’t last only because we were at different stages in our lives. I wanted eventually the traditional family picture with children and a wife my own age, while she wanted to start her next phase of life which did not involve young children.

We ended amicably, but for that one long year we had a fulfilling year together. My goodness the sex was hot and the spontaneity of weekends away and holidays while just living that short time in our lives has left me with some amazing memories.

Not once were we judged, and I think the world is in a better place now than then.

Is it the sort of village where everyone knows everyone's business? You could become the social pariah when word gets round. There'll be a call to lock up your son's (and husbands) because the new woman at Foxy Cottage will shag anything.

How do you know you were not once judged? I doubt anyone is going to confront OP, but people will talk plenty behind her back. I'm speaking from experience: people will judge her harshly, him not so much

Have you actually read the OP’s posts?? She doesn’t sound insecure to me, quite the opposite. She is being perused by a fit 20-something guy. Why would she feel insecure?

You sound jealous

My husband of 9 years is 10 years younger, my step dad is 13 year's younger than my mum, they've been together nearly 30 years!

Personally I don't think I'm old at nearly 40 and don't look it either! If you are compatible then why not as long as you're both consenting adults I see no problem.

How old are you? I'm 42 and I can assure you there's no shortage of 20 somethings willing to help me if I'm stuck in a drier. Unless you're an absolute munter, you will be spoiled for choice. But just because you can doesn't mean you should and these boys certainly do not want relationship. MILF porn is very popular and older women are seen as easy no strings attached fun

The OP has clearly said she is only interested in a fling

@Errors jealous? I'm happily married. I'm sure I could find someone to shag me if I wanted, even someone younger

But you accused another poster of being jealous cause she called OP desperate. To be honest yeah, it smacks of low self esteem and desperation. A lot of us in early 40 look great and get attention but it's a bad idea for OP to act on it as she's a newbie in a small village and they frequent the same pub. She'll be dubbed the village bike and young lad will share all the juicy details with his mates. Bad idea all round

I feel like the "what would the neighbours think?" posters that you always get on here must have really anxiety-filed lives as instead of focusing on doing what makes you happy (as long as nobody gets hurt) it's this constant worry about what random curtain twitchers on their street might be saying behind their backs.

It reminds me of my DM and MiL who are constantly worrying about being seen with their hair a mess or doing a bad job of parking or opening the curtains too late or having guests over because of what neighbours might be saying. It just sounds so exhausting and boring.

Also I know TV is rubbish but I can't imagine less exciting entertainment than finding out that two people I barely know on my street had consensual sex.

Just go for it OP as long as you're clear that it won't ever be anything serious. People are talking like you're ancient and you're not even that old!

I'd say go for it. You're both consenting adults. He seems more keen than you but that's not a bad thing given what you've been through

I’ve never worried about people talking behind my back - why should I?
These days people are more accepting and have less time for gossip, but if they do then so what.

It has nothing to do with neighbours. And there is no evidence that they would think of you in such in terms of such disgusting names anyway. As for those comparing it with an older man going for a younger woman, firstly it isn’t the case, secondly, in such cases the older male is usually the predator.

OP, l am a similar age to you. Youhave an itch, there is someone who you like who wants to scratch it. You are single, pragmatic about the situation and have nothing to lose. Just remember, smart women carry condoms

'NOT even THAT old' some nice backhanded compliment there 😃. I know you try to sound enlighten and forward (not like other girls) but your post is tone def and comparing bad parking to shagging a 'lad' who will broadcast it with details is a choice! Nobody is stopping OP, but fucking a much younger neighbour in a small village is different to fucking a young man from tinder who is not local.

@PierceMorgansChin Is it particularly enlightened and forward to think that casual consensual sex between two people is no big deal? I think it's a pretty standard position for most people nowadays.

OP lives in said village and has already addressed the "village gossip" issue several times, made it clear that she doesn't mind and that she does not want to associate with the kind of neighbours who would be calling her as skank.

Why should she have to worry about what people say and not him? It's all just misogyny.

@PierceMorgansChin have you considered that the young man in question might be a private person? The sort that doesn’t like to gossip and isn’t perhaps the ‘mates’ type?
the world is bigger place than your experience suggests.

I don’t think there is much point worrying about what other people think of you. The reality is that most people don’t think of you. If I was in a small town and someone told me that a 43 year old woman had slept with a 25 year old man I wouldn’t bat an eyelid and would have forgotten about it ten minutes later. Most people do not walk around thinking about other people in this way.

And those that are saying that they aren’t jealous… I cannot imagine what your motives are for calling the OP desperate and making all manner of misogynistic comments then…