To sleep with a 25 year old

[Lolalovestheflowers]

I am 43. After a very unhappy marriage that ended two years ago I feel I have finally found myself.
I have lost a lot of weight over the 2 years, got my friends and social life back and a good job I'm in a good place.

A couple of months ago I was out with some friends for a girly night, meal cocktails and onto a local pub.
We were having a great night and I was enjoying having fun.
A young man approached me that evening and started chatting me up, I had a giggle with him amd I was flattered but I said look your way too young for me as sweet as you are you surely must have many young women after you and no I'm out with the girls.
We both laughed , said nice to meet you and me and my friends moved onto the next pub.
Since then I've bumped into him in the local village I have recently moved to at the local shop. You would have thought it would have been awkward, it wasn't we smiled said our hellos , were polite, and went our own way.

He then sent a friend request on fb , I declined it. He then messaged me on fb asking to go for dinner. I ignored him initially.
One evening after a glass of wine I replied and said again you seem lovely , however your too young for me , take care.

On the 21st Dec I was out in local pub celebrating my best friends birthday , he walked in with a couple of friends near the end of the evening , he came over and said hello, we were all quite drunk by then and I must admit I was flattered he was flirting with me.
He said have you recently moved to the village i said yes and we then both realised we are actually neighbours.... 6 doors apart.

End of the night came and we both went separate ways and said goodbyes
My friends said there was a massive chemistry between the two of us and although he is young he seemed a nice, respectful guy

Since that evening we gave msg back and forth a little. Things heated up last night and he wanted me to meet him out.
He's saying I'm not too young for you , please just give me a chance.
I declined as I was staying in.
I really do fancy the pants off him, I know it will be nothing but a physical thing if I ever decide to meet him
However I can't help but feel it is morally wrong?

Opinions please
Tell me to sort myself and move on if you like, I'm all ears 😂

I genuinely would like to know if you've asked all of these questions with each person you've slept with?

Do it . Go have a good lunch . You will get to know each other a little and find out if there really is enough chemistry to make you want to spend more time with him , whether it's 'intimate' time or just an easy , mutually pleasing , flirtatious friendship . Incidentally , I hear tell of women in certain circumstances being surprisingly fertile .
(Ahem ...pop into the chemist on the way to lunch .)

Shags can quickly become deep to young people.

You are most likely going to not regret the fling.

This is actually a very good point. I will treat him respectful and I will make it clear friends only from the start... if we go ahead that is.

Please ignore all the sanctimonious posters. There is nothing wrong having a fling with a younger man as long as he is an adult and willing. You don't need to justify yourself to strangers on mumsnet.

Don’t shit on your own doorstep, as the saying goes 😃

Shags can quickly become deep to young people.

If the stories my DD tells me are anything to go by, that’s a rarity these days.

Could you genuinely be on the Flowershow committee with his mother?

Not the Flowershow committee! OP, there goes your social life.

I bet there's not!

Good point about birth control.

My niece had a friend who became a father at 17.
Unplanned and a result of a fling with his mother's 42 year old friend. It messed with him badly and he drowned in a questionable boat accident.

Your neighbour is more mature, so not quite the same.

Actually the formula is "divide by two, add seven"

So op can date anyone as young as (42/2 + 7) 28 so yea, he's too young but only by 3 years 😭

I agree with you, I would feel it's morally wrong, you're old enough to be his mother.

Also I'm pretty sure he only wants OP cuz she hasn't yet surrendered. Once he feels he has her, his desires will have no where to go but down so OP should be prepared for that. Like everyone else said, playtime only 😁

Slightly different but a few years ago when I was 25, I slept with a 49 year old. Other way round as I am the female.. it was fun whilst it lasted and I don't regret it. Never meant for a long term thing but we enjoyed each others company for a while and had fun. Very similar as we also lived on the same road and it was easy.. Be prepared for your neighbours seeing you calling at his/his at yours though!

She's not his mother though is she and it's up to her not you.

Well I'd be pretty unhappy if it was my 25 year old you were creeping over tbh

I Mean, yeah. By all means - you go girl. But it's a large age gap and I don't think it's right. I'd find a man doing it pretty repulsive and I feel the same as a woman doing it.

I feel like 17 and 42 doesn’t qualify as a fling, even if it’s above age of consent.

Good God!

Check the calendar please. It’s just turned 2025, not 1825.

I’m only a man, but am both astonished and appalled by many of the misogynistic, bitchy, prudish replies the poor OP has received.

I’m new here. Is this how ‘The sisterhood’ behaves to each other? It’s genuinely horrible. I adore female company, and am not a young man, so am not entirely inexperienced in these matters, but never knew that this level of inter-female competitiveness and envy (I do rather think that’s what some of this is) existed.

Oh well, never mind, I’m a scientist: I love learning new things … 🙄

Go for it!

You can always move house if it all goes really wrong 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

@IridiumSky oh brilliant. A man turning up to a (predominantly) female space to tell us all what he thinks of us (bitches) and how we should behave

Jog on pal

This sounds like the plot of one of those naff Christmas rom coms on Netflix. Does this man's business involve chopping down trees or making rugged but stylish wooden furniture? I bet he has a dog and a battered jeep and a strong collection of cable knit jumpers.

@IridiumSky it’s scientifically proven that men should mind their own business

Genuine question but can sex really be that transactional? Not sure if I'm asking sense but emotions must come into play.

@IridiumSky I'm starting to think you're the 25 year old in question you've tried so hard to convince everyone this is a good idea.

@ZestyJoey I'm not a fan of the formula though 60/2+7 means a 60 year old and a 37 year old together, nothing inherently wrong with that but at two such vastly different life stages is unlikely to lad to a long and happy coupling. Personally I think once you are passed 35, 10 years either way is more than sufficient and keeps everyone more or less in the same life stage.