Breastfeeding comment

[PregnantAtLast]

I'm currently 2 months pregnant. Shared the good news with parents over Christmas, all lovely.

I told my mum I'd be breastfeeding when she asked. She said "Oh, will you be getting one of those shawls like your cousin had?"
(Basically to cover myself and the baby when I am feeding).

It made me feel really uncomfortable that she expects me to cover myself feeding my child in my own family home.

AIBU to push back on this and insist on feeding how I want to, or do I need to respect her wishes when I'm in her home?

This.

The only reason anyone could have an issue with breastfeeding is because women's breast tissue is sexualised. Deal with feeling uncomfortable.

I was 100% convinced that I’d be spending my baby’s first months batting off nasty comments and defending myself but I only ever got little old ladies coming up to me telling me how great I was for breastfeeding and in public! We also lived in the states for a while and I got LOADS of positive comments. I was slightly relieved and slightly disappointed I couldn’t use my pre prepared quips and comebacks 🤣

I think you should cover up and be respectful of how your mother feels. Personally wouldn't want to be sitting with someone breastfeeding with full view. A shawl is hardly a faff. It's not shameful but I equally don't want it in my face

Except OP's mum is wrong lol, because the only way you can possibly have an issue with breastfeeding is rooted into internalised misogyny and the sexualisation of women's breast tissue. I guarantee OP's mum isn't moaning about men not having a shirt on during a hot summer's day.

Honestly lots of thr older generation are a bit uncomfortable with boobs out. Breast feeding was even Leeds common then than it it is now so she probably does envisage you sitting their with your boobs hanging out in front of her and you dad.
If using a shawl when at her house makes her more comfortable than I would do it while there and obviously do your own thing when at your house .
It seems a little mean spirited to do something that embarrasses her and your dad in their own house when it's fairly early to use a shawl thr odd time you're there but that's just me.

Why not? Whats wrong with breastfeeding? Would you have a problem with bottle feeding on display?

I just went off into a separate room to do it.

had nipple shields so the chances of flashing even with a cover were high!

I’ve seen loads of people breastfeed and the only time I’ve seen someone do the full “no top on boobs out” method was right after they gave birth while in the hospital.

Is that what people on this thread are envisaging??

Actually breastfeeding rates have declined heavily over the years. My mum, nan and great gran all breastfed and did it anywhere and no one complained

Nothing to do with internalised misogyny blah blah. Some people just don't like nudity! Men or women

She asked a question based on her experience of what your cousin did. Calm the fuck down.

Yes you should respect her wishes.

Nothing the matter with breastfeeding. I don't want to particularly see it though. It's quite intimate. Everyone is different

Why not? Dont you like seeing babies feeding? If not presumably you don’t like to see bottle feeding? Or are you offended by skin? If so how do you cope leaving the house?

It’s not intimate. Dont sexualise it. It’s a baby feeding. It’s simple and natural

As I said, everyone is different.

When have you seen someone breastfeed naked?

So you accept it’s a you thing? Why then should someone pander to your “difference?”

I’m laughing at people saying disliking breastfeeding is nothing to do with sexism. Oh please. It just so happens you don’t like that one specific act that benefits a baby. Nothing else to do with infant feeding, or skin, offends you presumably?

If you don’t like BF then fine but have the guts to own your misogyny

I'm genuinely astounded that anyone thinks this is a reasonable expectation.

There is only a single reason anyone has any issue with breastfeeding, and that is the sexualisation of breasts. Men walk around topless and no one bats an eyelid, but a woman can't do something that is biologically natural? Please.

If you feel uncomfortable, take some time to unpack that because it's a you problem.

Following someone's house rules is fine, but not if the rule is totally unreasonable. What if someone tried banning a woman from wearing a dress in their home, because the sight of legs made them uncomfortable? Like, c'mon.

No I don't accept its a me thing. I'm entitled to have my preferences and don't expect anyone to pander to me. 😀

This. The sole reason is sexualisation of breasts. There is no other reason to ask someone to cover up. Don't kid yourselves.

Don't underestimate how difficult breastfeeding is. If your baby is screaming at you because s/he can't latch and your nipples are bleeding from clusterfeeds in the night, and your boob veins are raised like Hulk turning angry you might be glad of a covering wherever you are. Some babies get very distracted when feeding and twist and turn their heads to look at whatever noise or movement in their environment (whixh can be quite painful if they have a mouthful of your boob in their mouth when they yank their head around). A cover can help minimise distractions and make feeding easier. Don't rule it out just yet. Feed however you want, but by taking a stand at this point in your pregnancy you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself further down the line.

I breastfed both of my children. I didn't cover up per se, but did sit so as to shield my dad from my boob. My dad wouldn't want me to feel uncomfortable, and I wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable. It wasn't a big deal.

But you’d expect someone to leave the room you’re in if they want to breastfeed?

Also @popduckhe how do you cope in restaurants if you think people eating is a sexual act? Because saying breastfeeding is an “intimate act” is sexualising eating.

Font you even wanna try to grow up and do better?

No I wouldn't. I also wouldn't say anything. I'd just prefer not. I'm leaving the thread now. It's no.big deal to me, just a preference. Everyone is different, it's nothing deep.