To complain about a GP calling me this?

[lolit]

He called me a good girl while examining me. Should I complain or am I overreacting?

oh dear god - I call my neice sweetheart- I dont Call my CEO that by accident!

OP there are countless article about patronizing and infantalising language used for women in health care settings. It is why our pain and health isn’t taken as seriously as men

https://theconversation.com/thats-a-good-girl-how-women-are-infantilised-during-obstetric-care-and-labour-222926

I think your GP needs some education and his attitude needs brought forward about 50 years!

You keep saying you were in a vulnerable position which part of your body or where was he examining?

Yeh, I probably wouldn't complain but I agree that's poor, and I probably would have said something at the time. What a dick.

Men call each other good boy?? I have only heard a man call a dog or a very small child good boy! Certainly never in a professional setting (and I work in a male dominated environment).

Yeah it’s disgusting. People on here are so naive and willing to excuse male weirdness. Guess they haven’t had the privilege of their GP going to prison for abuse fo female patients. 100% report.

It would be a totally normal thing to say, where I live.

I agree it’s infantilising and you are in a weaker position as a patient.

Complaining won’t do anything, I would ask to see a different doctor next time.

if a man says it again just say I’m a grown woman , I don’t expect to be called a girl. That’s all you have to say.

Yep this. I couldn't believe how I was treated in pregnancy and just after having given birth. I went from a respected professional woman with a PhD and a voice to being treated like a little girl who knew nothing. I was SO patronised. Repeatedly, by multiple HCPs.

Actually, maybe you should complain- I guess nothing will change otherwise.

Ew.

I would put in a complaint, if only to have it on his record. It’s an odd thing to say in a professional setting - and it is very sexual in certain contexts. Can completely understand how it could make you feel very uncomfortable.

🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ FGS you need a thicker skin than this. No, I'm not saying he was right to say it but it's one of those offhand comments he possibly regretted as soon as he said it. It's certainly not worth embarrassing the GP in front of all his colleagues for! It wasn't sexual harassment or god forbid, anything physical. If it's part of a pattern of behaviour or he says it again, that may be different. But not for one singular slip of the tongue.

Not saying it’s okay, just not noteworthy.

This. My husband never gets patronised or called a 'good boy' by his doctor. He is treated with respect and dignity.

OP- what was he doing at the point he said it? You keep saying examining you. Specifically what? I’m surprised if it was an intimate examination there wasn’t a chaperone of sorts present. But you are being vague.

Were you tempted to say woof and lick his face?

He didn't look like he regretted it, he looked pleased.

Anyone who doesn’t see a problem with a man saying “good girl” to a woman during a physical examination needs to have a good looks at themselves and their own internalised misogyny.

OP, you are entirely in the right here. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It is women standing up for themselves that makes things better for all women.

Urrgh.

I absolutely agree with this.

I think you’d have to be there to make a call on it. If he’s 64, and you’re 21 I can understand why he said good girl. If you’re 52, it’s a bit odd. Bit condescending but perhaps he was trying to put you at ease.

I handed my grandfather a cup of tea and some shortbread today, he said ‘oooh she’s a good girl’. I’m 44. I know it’s patronising but hey-ho.

Only you can say whether it was pervy or not, if he was examining your tonsils, I’m guessing he probably wasn’t.

It’s not something I would complain about, but if he made you feel uneasy I wouldn’t see him again.

How would anyone know if it’s a pattern of behaviour if nobody reports it?

Please don't embarrass yourself.... Or him.

I have never heard a medical professional saying that. It's so patronising and sexist. Imagine him saying 'good boy' to a grown adult man. It simply would not happen.

I think it's totally reasonable to say to the manager by email that isn't an appropriate phrase and that they could do with some equalities training. The practice manager needs to know and so does the doctor who said it. It's bad form and unprofessional.

If it's feeling to you like it was sexual then that's even more serious. And an official complaint should raised with the practice, rather than just a feedback email.

I'm so sorry you had to experience that. X

You shouldve said something at the time, youre now churning it over abd its getting bigger. At my surgery GPs always ask for a chaperone - didnt yours

The OP should not feel embarrassed for a man's misogyny.