To complain about a GP calling me this?

[lolit]

He called me a good girl while examining me. Should I complain or am I overreacting?

Just this!

I felt uncomfortable, in the way women feel when they are in a space with a man who says something inappropriate to them. I didn't feel unsafe in the sense that I was scared of him or anything, I never said that.

It's honestly a bit disturbing that I'm being told to seek professional help because a man's actions made me feel uncomfortable. I will leave this thread now for good for the sake of my mental health. Thank you to the posters who were supportive, you gave me some comfort.

Did you ever tell us what this examination was? Why wasnt a female chaperone offered?

Social change cannot happen unless people are confronted about their offensive behaviour- even if it is unconscious, habitual, and ‘traditional’. Never too late to learn and to expand one’s vocabulary.

I was once said a very enthusiastic ‘Good boy’ to a patient on my first day back from maternity leave and he fell about laughing and asked if I was flirting with him.
When you are public facing for your entire work day you will trip up and say the wrong thing once in a while.

OP has said she was being examined and was in a vulnerable position.. I can only assume a vaginal or otherwise intimate examination of some sort? And the doctor said it in a sexual manner. It's not that hard to see that this is not OK!

Totally agree with your complaint, Op. Totally creepy and unprofessional thing for him to say, whatever his tone. Ignore the handmaidens here.

No they are being deliberately obtuse.

Any physical inspection is an examination and vulnerable is subjective. Saying ahhhh as they look at your mouth is vulnerable.

And again, you can't speak in a sexual manner, unless perhaps the GP was Barry White.

None of us know for sure I suppose.
My stance comes from working in maternity care and this comes up as a complaint more often than you'd think, women with their legs open, male doctor's hand inside them, and thinking it appropriate to call them 'good girl'. It's gross and inappropriate.

Of course vulnerable is subjective but can we not accept that OP did feel vulnerable at the time?

What do you mean about you can't speak in a sexual manner? Of course you can.

What happens when it comes up as a complaint. Is the person reprimanded or sanctioned?

I completely believe you. As I and others have said earlier in this thread, I've never felt so patronised and disrespected as I was when I was pregnant and immediately after giving birth.

I completely misinterpreted GP as grandparent so was completely thrown.

Staff member is informed and must meet to discuss with relevant personnel and yes is reprimanded. Will usually end with needing to take a course in dignity in health care and written apology to patient.

Only if the complaint is upheld!

There would have been a chaperone if it was a vaginal examination. The OP said she felt vulnerable, not that it was an intimate examination. This is why I have the impression that she was being a bit precious. I’m not suggesting she shouldn’t have offered feedback/irritation on the comment, but it should have happened at the time. It’s not a big enough deal for a formal complaint. What does a non sexual comment being made ‘in a sexual manner’ in the absence of a sexual/abusive situation even mean?

If it was any kind of intimate examination there is usually a female member of staff called in to chaperone to protect both the patient, but also the doctor. Did this not happen? My inference is that the examination was one of an intimate nature - perhaps in future you should insist there is a female member of staff present. My gynae always has the nurse present when I'm examined - and whenever I've been to the breast clinic the same. I'd be more concerned about the fact this (seemingly) didn't happen rather than being called "good girl" in a tone that made you feel uncomfortable.

I love your misguided certainty about this appalling situation. 🤨

Yes, we know there’s supposed to be a chaperone but I’m in my 50’s and have had several gynae examinations with no chaperone present, so it doesn’t always happen. The last time was a couple of years ago with a consultant in his 50’s.

I was more bothered about the issue requiring the examination than being alone with a man performing a very intimate examination but realised afterwards that it shouldn’t have happened so I’ve always ensured they are done with a chaperone present since then.

In my view the OP should complain, regardless of what sort of examination it was. Women are often treated dismissively by some HCP’s and that needs to change for the benefit of all women.

Have you any idea how much GP practice time is taken up by dealing with complaints? GP practices now often employ a complaints manager as it is so time consuming.
now don’t get me wrong some complaints are perfectly acceptable but complaining about this is petty! Yes give some feedback if you want but an official complaint takes clinicians away from clinical care and let’s be honest we are all complaining we can’t get an appointment currently

If this had been me I'd have laughed and said oh thank you I feel young again.. Not been a girl for years haha..
I went to see a new Dr we've got and I walked through the door he went Mrs, my first name middle name and last name.
He went that's a mouth full. I went well just call me by my first name then. Haha..

Perhaps complaints would be minimised if all GPs were respectful. If all reception staff were polite and if the operational stuff such as prescriptions, etc., were better handled and managed.

Complaints are the equivalent of free market research.

Interestingly, I moved GP about 18 months ago because Ingot sick and tired of a practice that was inefficient and appeared to have a toxic attitude to patients. The difference between the old and new is incredible and I think it comes from the ethos of the GP partners.

You see, as I have an unusual first name and last name, both very English, I find comments like that from HCPs unnecessary and rude. If a patient said that to a Nigerian, Sri Lankan or East Asian HCP they'd be accused of racism.

I have had such comme ts since I was a little girl when my surname was Forrin as well as unusual and comments about one's name become incredibly boring as well as rude.

I’m completely with you, that’s sickening it’s not something that needs to be said to someone in any situation at all I think it’s inappropriate especially while being examined. It made me uncomfortable just reading it I’d report him too🤢