Who is living life the right way?

[flowergirl24]

Sister A and Sister B met up over the Christmas period. Their lives have gone in different directions and they are both late 30s. They both have 3 DC.

Sister A works 60 hours a week in a stressful job. She manages to take the children swimming at the weekends but they don’t do activities after school during the week. She has invested money in rental houses, and is concentrating on being able to have a better quality of life in the future.

Sister B works 8-10 hours a week. She has ponies and the children enjoy riding after school. She is not focused on a career at all, but does a lot of driving the children to after school activities. Sister B has expensive cars and is living for today, with no concern for the future.

Who is doing life right?

Compared to me & my sister these lives sound pretty similar

We dont know that for sure. Another reason I'm convinced the op is Sister A is the sneering about B relying on her DHs money. But if they are in a happy partnership with managed options, then so fucking what.

@flowergirl24 why the ridiculous competition?

It's a bit pathetic really. Everyone makes the choices they need to.

I would suggest you spend a bit less time comparing your life and making it a competition.

Me too.

Working 60 hours a week is crazy and bad for your health.

Having expensive cars is bad for the wallet and the climate.

I bet the OP is sister B.

Profiting from owning too many houses isn't 'right' no matter how you try to justify it.

Are both sets of children emotionally stable and resilient?

Are marriages loving, equal and reciprocal?

Sister A is clearly unreasonable for being an evil landlord exploiting tenants 😂
Neither lifestyle appeals to me, but as long as each works for the respective sisters and they are content, what’s the problem? There is no right or wrong answer.

But, life has shown me not to prioritise the future too much at the expense of today, because you don’t know what the future will be. One thing is for certain though, buy to let landlords will increasingly become pariahs, and under this government taxed out of existence. The time to make proper money out of this has gone 😂

As they say ' comparison is the thief of joy'.
We can constantly compare situations and circumstances.
Life isn't fair

Which sister are you and why do you think the other one is living life “wrong”?

Half of sister A, half of sister B.

Sister B will regret it when she can't retire. Sister A will regret it when she has a heart attack and has no memories with her kids, because she was working so much

The sister who isn't judging the other sister on an internet forum is 'right"

Her DH works 9-5 and he drops the other two off and picks them up from primary school.

Is he sharing the load equally? Mentally, logistically, emotionally, financially?

Do you fell supported and energised by your life choices or is it all exhausting and eroding over time?

I guess the answer is that you are questioning your work/life balance and family values right now?

Thats a good sign to be continually aware and always adapting as we age and our DC grow into new chapters.

There is no right or wrong here, just different approaches.

From a personal perspective, sister B’s life would drive me insane and I’d feel like my brain was dying a little every day. Sister A’s life would leave me feeling like I was stuck on a treadmill, permanently chasing something I could never catch. I want sister C’s life - a fulfilling career, time to relax once the DC are in bed and no more than 2-3 hours work over the weekend.

I live like sister B and im loving it, so for me sister B is doing it right. This is very subjective though and not everyone likes the same things 🤷🏻‍♀️
If they are both happy with their lives, then they are both doing it right.

This is kind of me and my ex after we divorced.

I prefer that I spent more time with our DC’s during their childhood. Time is precious and can't be bought or replaced. I'm not particularly materialistic.

He was intent on empire building, has missed most of his DC’s life and ended up with quite weak relationships. His measure of success was money.

Saying that, I was a single parent who worked part-time within my means and wasn't reliant on anyone else.

I am more similar to sister B.

I'm a combo of both (no ponies tho) and I would say both would benefit from a less polarised position. But it's none of the business of either to say how someone else should live their lives.

I occasionally think it would be nice to have a career like my sister and I'm sure she'd like to work less but each to their own!

I’d prefer to be sister b. Her life sounds much more appealing and she gets to spend time with her children while they are young.

Not sure why your language is so rude? A bit extreme for simply pointing out that sister b has little security if her and her husband split up. It’s New Year, maybe take a chill pill and one of your resolutions could be to not get so het up by simple comments on the internet 😂

How many is too many?

This!!

Sister B because she's not posting NYE Mumsnet threads about her sibling's life choices?

How does it matter? Are they happy? Are their kids happy? There are many many different ways to live life, surely?!

More than you require to house yourself and your dependants.

Both sound hellish to me. They are both trapped in different ways.

who cares?