To ‘be more Mumsnet’ in 2025?

[Jumell]

I’m going to try and achieve some of these goals in 2025:-

Earn 100k pa at least
Move to Hampstead
Buy a Range Rover
Shop only at Boden
BAN the Daily Fail
Have 101 on Speed Dial
Get a ring doorbell

NEVER open front door except by prior appointment

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

Get tested for neurodiversity

Make a whole cooked chicken last a week
Massive salad

Go NC with my ENTIRE narcissistic family

Book a spa day

Get rid of my toilet brush

Chronicle daily how little I’m eating to keep my BMI permanently under 20

Encourage all woo threads as it fascinates me - generally - be more ‘woo’

Declare friendship groups as too much drama

SO C’MON!! There are worse goals for 2025 to have, surely?

I'm going to take up a hobby that I can't disclose as it's too outing

Gross!

Never darken A&E's door without first consulting mumsnet. Just to be sure you're not wasting anyone's time. Broken leg with bone protruding? Be told No, that's not an emergency, can't you wait until Monday to see your GP, or visit a pharmacist?

Not only is that broken leg not an emergency, you've almost certainly brought it upon yourself. "May I ask what your BMI is? If it's over 24 then of course your leg simply snapped under the sheer weight of you. It's people like you that have caused the NHS to be in this state."

When giving the OP advice about an over friendly colleague/neighbour - use the most generic 1950s names imaginable …

Look, Barbara/Brenda/Susan/Sandra/Caroline
/Linda, it’s very kind of you to bring 5 Tupperware boxes full of your homemade mince pies to us, but we’re all on diets/ glucose intolerant here so … I’m sure your own family would appreciate them more ..

Well the thread referred to inlaws living 10 minutes away and ALWAYS took a dump no matter how short the visit. Like marking territory 😅🤢

Someone describes your chacutarie as picky bits, that boils your piss.

Give your head a wobble, head tilt and tinkly laugh, "did you mean to be so rude?"

you are all professional msntters as I can see 😃

You need to change your username and details within an elaborately crafted paragraph exactly why you have done so (you must mention penis beaker on pain of death).

if you have a car collision and want MN opinions , include diagram in your FIRST post

Anally ask what the OP's AIBU is as they have clearly just ruined everyone's MN experience by posting in the wrong section.

Not be concerned that my 17 year old is pregnant/alcoholic/drug addict, it's none of my business as they are an ADULT

If you accidentally like a post or friend request someone while Facebook stalking them, you MUST burn your house down then take the next available flight to New Zealand 🙌

Pardon?

Oh I see - misunderstood the anally ask bit. As you were!

Surely you need to knock that Facebook lark on the head, we don't do social media don't you know! (Just spend all day on MN) 🤣

Use No as a complete sentence. It's not rude.

Cancel all cheques

Always invite DC to your wedding but don't have any DC there and never complain if DC are or aren't invited

Only wear Toast, Hush or Batsheva

Omg this x 100! In fact having any opinion or feelings whatsoever about your teenager's life is probably "controlling" or "manipulative" so don't bother, instead just develop an emotionally detached indifference to your teens.

Send all children to and live in catchment for an Excellent rated school despite that being only 12% of schools in the country

If you send invites for your DC parties, be prepared for NO ONE to respond. At all. I mean, isn’t being kept guessing part of the fun /challenge ??

Suggest to everyone you meet that they/ their children/ their partner/ their elderly parents might be neurodiverse. The children almost certainly have PDA.

You’ve got this wrong. Everyone over 60 has dementia.

Make sure you regularly dump all your food stuff 'to make room for more' down the food bank or put it on Olio

I'm going to change my children's names to Persephone and Atticus.
They're 46 and 44 but it has to be done

I’ve just moved to an inner London council estate and wonder if I should change my child’s name to Aris?

(short for Aristotle)

@arcticpandas different thread I was referring to about someone using a different floor of their office building for the loo - which was met in horror 😂

That thread sounds equally interesting though