To ‘be more Mumsnet’ in 2025?

[Jumell]

I’m going to try and achieve some of these goals in 2025:-

Earn 100k pa at least
Move to Hampstead
Buy a Range Rover
Shop only at Boden
BAN the Daily Fail
Have 101 on Speed Dial
Get a ring doorbell

NEVER open front door except by prior appointment

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

Get tested for neurodiversity

Make a whole cooked chicken last a week
Massive salad

Go NC with my ENTIRE narcissistic family

Book a spa day

Get rid of my toilet brush

Chronicle daily how little I’m eating to keep my BMI permanently under 20

Encourage all woo threads as it fascinates me - generally - be more ‘woo’

Declare friendship groups as too much drama

SO C’MON!! There are worse goals for 2025 to have, surely?

Chain or independent coffee shop ?

Put money before everything including a dying mother and kindness.

Never forgive anyone.

Always ask if Oxford is Brookes or the colleges.

Do not accept a PhD entitles anyone to use the title Dr.

Never be over a size 14 even if your 6ft tall.

Never give an ex alcoholic a chance in love or life even if they haven't touched alcohol for years. Don't believe them.

If I have issues with any friends or family I’ll send them a text that reads like a solicitors letter rather than just speak to them like a normal human.

I will be seeing extended family bi-annually as anything more than that is deeply unhealthy and a sure sign that you’re enmeshed.

Refer to everything from having people stay for a few nights to having someone over for a cuppa as ‘hosting’.

Declare anyone who doesn’t drive as ‘not a proper adult’ then rant on another thread that people who have 1 shower a day are single handedly responsible for climate change.

Excuse any and all bad behaviour because the person in question may be ND, peri or fully menopausal, or have early onset dementia.

Unless it's Ikos, of course.

Don't be remotely surprised if your sibling gives their children the same first AND middle names as your children, because "nobody owns a name". This is perfectly normal and you are totally unreasonable to be annoyed.

Do not believe any disabled person is entitled to a mobility scheme car. That's using tax payers money. They do not need new cars as they cant/ shouldn't be going out if they are that ill.

PIP recipients have falsified their claims.

People using blue badges should be challenged.

Only look at outstanding schools. Be careful of large SEN percentages and free school meals.

Don't charge adult DC rent. They need everything for their own home ownership.

Oh god- I am clearly mumsnet. We're planning to move 'semi rurally' this year as our youngest two have either finished at, or are currently at, RG universities (although I had no clue what that meant till dc2 went...)
We also currently live in a house we (whisper) own (mortgage) in one of the most expensive cities in the UK.

HOWEVER, I am a lowly, shitly paid nhs worker and dh is retired so hopefully we're OK?

Just remember folks that if you give small, thoughtful gifts you're stingy but tread carefully not to be generous as a thread that's currently trending on MN points out: the Sil has bought DD an expensive doll and the OP thinks she's trying to "up her" because OP wanted to offer a doll as well but hasn't told anyone about it. And the Sil didn't tell her beforehand! And she also offered clothes! And she has form for buying expensive presents and she kills the christmas spirit. And OP is supported by many posters. Ex:
" She is trying to “top” you. She is trying to upstage you and your gifts. Don’t be gaslit, you know this is happening as your gut feeling is telling you so.
tell her you don’t appreciate this and if she wants to buy or sends gifts she goes through dh first. She is causing trouble and she is aware of that."

🤣🤣🤣 I love mumsnet!!!

I gotchu op..

Enmesh oneself with a man who already has kids. Complain that said kids need maintenance payments, quality time, and parenting.

I’ve just been reading that one too.

I wasn’t referring to a specific thread, as it happens so frequently. But I guess it proves my point that there’s a live thread on this exact topic ATM. 😂

Fail to understand the correct use of the words "bought" and "brought"

Fail to read OP then suggest that the OP does/does not do something that they clearly stated they already do/don't do in their first post.

Never let your husband have sex with you ever again and then whine on here when he complains and then rejoice in the resounding, hysterical MN chorus of "he's a fucking filthy pervert", "he's abusive", "ALL MEN ARE SEX PESTS and should be set fire to en masse"

Lol’d at cancel all cheques !

🤣 at last paragraph!

If your teenage daughter gets pregnant, even is she sad her boyfriend are over 18 and perfectly happy with it, your own mum must do a

‘cat’s bum face’

It's the fact that you had to mention it that makes you a peak Mumsnettter.

Do you detest the dog's mother in law?

I will be seeing extended family bi-annually as anything more than that is deeply unhealthy and a sure sign that you’re enmeshed

To be fair, you should be "grey-rocking" them anyway as all family are "toxic".

When the going gets tough be sure to have a spa day/weekend.
And when you reach the grand old age of 35 always choose a hot bath, face pack, snuggly pj's and in bed by 10pm in preference to a night out on the lash

Also must remember to abbreviate everything so as to maximize confusion:

"My DSIS and DSTBXH looked cozy IYKWIM and DSIL took DS and DD along with DSS to an event. WWYD?? Sorry, can't be more specific as too outing. TA xx

Always treat yourself to a spa if you're not invited to a wedding

Let's not all forget to practice spitting out our tea, snorting in hilarity and waking the baby whilst reading some of the comments

You can't be an ethnic minority of course......

And 'crying' at a supposedly hilarious post which to me is just mildly amusing, if that.