To ‘be more Mumsnet’ in 2025?

[Jumell]

I’m going to try and achieve some of these goals in 2025:-

Earn 100k pa at least
Move to Hampstead
Buy a Range Rover
Shop only at Boden
BAN the Daily Fail
Have 101 on Speed Dial
Get a ring doorbell

NEVER open front door except by prior appointment

Diet and then NEVER thereafter exceed a BMI of 20

Get tested for neurodiversity

Make a whole cooked chicken last a week
Massive salad

Go NC with my ENTIRE narcissistic family

Book a spa day

Get rid of my toilet brush

Chronicle daily how little I’m eating to keep my BMI permanently under 20

Encourage all woo threads as it fascinates me - generally - be more ‘woo’

Declare friendship groups as too much drama

SO C’MON!! There are worse goals for 2025 to have, surely?

Shower and change your clothes three times a day and wash the clothes you’ve worn.

“My husband is normally such a good father and husband, but…”

then list a whole multitude of reasons why he’s an absolute piece of shit father/husband.

Omg YY to this !!!!

This general sentiment reminds me of the EXCELLENT and very thought provoking drama Family Life from 1971 that starred an actress from Eastenders in the lead role

My husband provides well.

'Hot choc' has already come up.

Don't forget that said 'hot choc' is a standalone activity to fill the long Autumn/Winter months with young DC. As opposed to something that will at best killl 5 minutes and at worst get spilt everywhere.

Add snuggly blanket for extra points!

See also: get your housework done effortlessly with your toddler and baby in tow by giving them a duster and getting them to help.

Whilst remembering of course at Saint Andrews University is not a Russell group University

Don't forget to never ever sit on your bed wearing any clothing that has been outside. You'll die if you do this.

Another post that genuinely made me lol!

Mounds of dust on the floor from pearls crumbling upon being clutched too tightly

I was going to type a really funny and whitty post but I'm struggling to hold my phone due to the 4 oodies, 3 pairs of joggers, ski base layers and 5 pairs of gloves I'm wearing.

But, I will win the MN heating competition by not switching any heating on till December 2052. Of course, I won't set it any higher than 17 degrees and only to come on for 5 minutes in the morning to "take the chill off".

No balaclava? You sound like a wastrel who hasnt prepared properly

I won't set it any higher than 17 degrees and only to come on for 5 minutes in the morning

It's people like you destroying the planet! I light a single candle and it keeps my house nice and toasty. I even use the flame to heat up a pot of lentil and grass-clippings soup for my family of 5 strapping athletes....

Pure self-indulgence. Are potato peelings not good enough for you? And the human race survived long before cooking food was a Thing.

Nadia did a potato peel curry on the bbc. So pure MN.

Remember to peel all the yellow labels off your shopping so that others don't know you come from working class stock. Best to decant into click and store.

Do not go into Marks and Spencer food halls near to Christmas. Non regular customers will be getting in the way (taken from a previous thread posted Monday 23rd).

Bulk it out with lentils and serve with crusty bread!

Bolognaise not stretching far enough then bulk it out with lentils and serve with crusty bread!

Marriage issues, bulk it out with lentils and serve divorce proceedings with crusty bread!

Mother in law issues, just bulk her out with lentils and stuff her mouth with crusty bread!

Son not predicted to grow to the dream height of six foot, bulk him out with lentils and give him long crusty baguette legs!

Don't forget, absolutely loathe your MIL, who brought up your wonderful husband to be kind, generous, thoughtful, does more than 50/50 of all household tasks and is a community backbone, earns a good income, because of she once forgot to take her shoes off on the mat outside the front door, and did it on the mat literally just inside instead. Go NC.

Is a 6'6'' son a uber mumsnet or too tall to be considered? Asking for a friend.

Is he strapping but with hollow legs?

@soupfiend early twenties so gym bunny. Golden child.
Pain in the arse!
Eats at least £50 of meat a week. I might try lentils.

Don't forget you have to check the labels on everything you buy in case it's trying to hide its UPF - ness, but at the same time you mustn't stand still for longer than 30 seconds in the supermarket because the busiest people in the world, ever, whose time is WAY more important than yours will be huffing and puffing behind you.

I'm just going to BLOCK everyone and label them a narcissist. 😂

Damn I forgot that toothbrushes must be kept 5 miles from any toilet for hygiene reasons.

Asking your DC's (fit and healthy) grandparents to look after them for 10 minutes while you get your severed leg sewn back on is entitled. They don't owe you childcare.

And then, on another thread, asking your DC's grandparents who are still working themselves to do every pick up and drop off, have the kids every day of the holidays without ever feeding them anything that isn't organically grown by monks and harvested using a spoon after midnight on the 3rd Tuesday of the month is perfectly reasonable and grounds for going NC if they object.