To hate that DGD has her ears pierced

[OhSoYouAreFancy]

DGD is 3, she was born and until this summer raised abroad, DD got her ears pierced when she was weeks old, this is common practice there.
I hate it though, I think it looks so cheap and trashy!! DGD clearly couldn't consent and DD spends ridiculous amounts (of our money as we support her right now) on solid gold earrings for her.
I feel like when people realise they judge and think it looks downmarket and cheap.

AIBU to hate it?

I agree with you on this.

i have a 3 year old who has only just turned 3 and we went away with family and she seen the little girl with ear pierced and started asking for them herself. I then didn’t immediately run to get them done and I think I am going to wait until she asks again. I wouldn’t put her through it without her consent and I don’t agree that it should even be allowed on babies. I don’t have them so she won’t. You’re not wrong @OhSoYouAreFancy

Haven't read all the replies sorry. I'm a grandmother and just giving my first impression to your post. Whether you like it or not, I don't think it's anything to do with you (sorry). My granddaughter is nearly 2 and I'm sure my dil would love her ears pierced. In fact I know they've discussed it because my son said no. Either way it has nothing to do with me. Their baby, their discussion, their decision.

I admit I don't like it and I don't think it should be done on a baby....but your situation is slightly different in that it's cultural. I had my ears pierced at a young age through a cultural reason. It was/is just the done thing. It's not your granddaughters fault and tbh your dd is/was just trying to fit into the culture in which she lives. It's not the end of the world. Yes preferable not to have it done at this age but not the end of the world. It's done now.

I don't personally agree with piercing young children's ears, though I don't think it's a huge issue.

Your language about her looking cheap and trashy is gross, though, and if this is representative of who you are as person, then I dare say her relationship with you is more likely to be damaging than the piercings.

This is an area where mc people don't seem to hesitate to be openly snobby about customs of wc people or those from other cultures.

I absolutely hate it.

I don’t care if it’s ‘cultural’, there a lot of things in my culture that I don’t do because they don’t align with my morals.

Culture is never an excuse and I hate that this is trotted out.

If you want to get it done, at least be honest and say it’s because you want to get it done because you think it looks nice etc, don’t just say I had to do it because of my culture because that’s BS.

I agree with you OP but it’s done and saying anything isn’t going to help.

Drinking definitely.
Smoking in the street(especially as a woman).
Washing up in a bowl another one you got right. That's for poor people/without a water supply.
Dressing too casually. (especially in church,restaurants etc)
No curtains/lace curtains.

Not that I subscribe to those views. It's just arbitrary stuff.

@Wonderi she’s just gonna have to mhob. It’s not her dc.
I didn’t get my dds ears pierced through fear of the judgy English mums. I didn’t need to fear as I live in a multicultural town and I’d say about 70% of the girls had pierced ears and no one gave a crap 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Anonym00se I can respect and understand your view. Same with the people that are against it because it is painful (even if the baby can't remember it). Totally fair enough.

The shallow "what will people say", it looks trashy/cheap/tacky/whatever (or more like working class , or even worse like travellers) is bullshit though. They don't even see the irony in not doing something because it looks "bad" (at x arbitrary age) is just as bad as doing it because it looks cute/pretty. The focus is still on looks and people's opinion.

The only thing here that’s cheap, downmarket and trashy is your attitude.

I have to say the use of the term ‘consent’ is one I don’t find myself agreeing with when it comes to piercing. The holes are tiny and heal. It’s not FGM. Most girls nag to get their ears pierced done. How many women who do have the ability to consent to ear piercing don’t consent and on what grounds? It’s hardly a violation if a parent puts earrings in. They can’t ask for it to be done but I don’t think I’d equate it with forcing something on a non-consenting person.

That says, I do think babies and toddlers are too little - no need to adorn them in any way - so I agree with you on that basis alone.

The strangest aspect of this is that it's only girls

I took DD back home when she was about 1 and everyone just assumed she was a boy due to the lack of earrings.

They Also fussed about her lack of a hat but that's a whole other story.

It looks awful and common on children under 10. They really don't need their ears pierced at this age. It's awkward for P.E etc

Bwahaha at Brits criticizing some cultures about their customs/looks. Especially someone like SPANISH or Italian or French (or pretty much anywhere except Germany, Australia and the US) women? Trashy? Are you joking? Have you seen the mirror or ever been to Spain? Brit tourists: pasty, fat, red gammons wearing cheap, unkempt, always at least a size too small clothing with their sweaty rolls lulling and exposed. Or all the above teamed with orange self tan, slug eyebrows, tatted-up, drag makeup, fish lips, tallon nails. And Spanish people. Elegant, well dressed/made and effort look, slim and trim, well cut, well made clothing.

Eastern Europen/Baltic women you don't even want to compare yourselves too. Tall, lean, willowy, beautiful, streets full of model-standard women.

Jesus C, it's definitely NOT for Brits to criticize anyone's looks or style choices. That's like Fiat Panda criticizing a new Lamborghini. Babies with (or without) earrings are the least of your problems.

You've really undermined your argument with your awful stereotyping here. Gross

You are so correct. Earrings on children under 12 look common and tacky. If it's culture elsewhere, fine because everyone does it.
In the UK, the peirced ears on children tell a completely different tale -rightly or wrongly. Assumptions will be made.

It is cheap and tacky
The OP, as a grandmother, and as a person, has a right to an opinion. Just because you don't agree with an opinion doesn't mean it is wrong, or that your attitude/opinion is the correct one.

This is normal in my culture. I think my DD was about 10 weeks old when I got hers done. I think it looks beautiful.

Can you elaborate further on these "assumptions" that will be made.....

Anyone looking at a toddler and thinking they look ‘downmarket’ or ‘cheap’ isn’t worth knowing.

A grandparent doing so? Good grief.

I think you'll find both boys aand girls aged 3 can look 'downmarket'...

I'd certainly relieve them of the duty of having such a cheap looking grandchild. They wouldn't be seeing her again.

You need to camouflage your gin-trap better.

This is not your call OP, so I'm not sure what you're gaining by getting worked up about it.

YANBU to hate something, you’re entitled to feel how you feel (and I sympathise with you on this one because I hate seeing pierced ears on babies and toddlers).

That said, you can’t say anything or make your disapproval known. It’s a decision her parents were entitled to make, however much you dislike it.