To hate that DGD has her ears pierced

[OhSoYouAreFancy]

DGD is 3, she was born and until this summer raised abroad, DD got her ears pierced when she was weeks old, this is common practice there.
I hate it though, I think it looks so cheap and trashy!! DGD clearly couldn't consent and DD spends ridiculous amounts (of our money as we support her right now) on solid gold earrings for her.
I feel like when people realise they judge and think it looks downmarket and cheap.

AIBU to hate it?

I hate it but Ddil is Mexican and her ears were pierced before she left the hospital. It’s likely that if they have a dd this tradition will continue.

I see you're still throwing the snobby judgemental language about. It doesn't sound as though your main concern is the money or your granddaughter, but how it might reflect on you.

Really, OP you are being absurd now.

I doubt if the other parents will even notice!

''Stupid''..''shallow'''...''Cheap?''

You don't seem to like your Grand daughter very much to imply such things about her.

I don't live it but it is cultural and the norm in Spain

YANBU. Our niece ( Vietnamese mum) had her ears pierced when a few days old as it's a cultural thing. I personally think it looks awful.

Agree. It does not hurt the baby any more than having immunisations and then they forget about it, and it's much easier than those in my family who waited until they were older and then were terrified, couldn't look after them, got one done and were too scared to have the other, etc. And of course if they don't like it when older they can just take them out.

Ultimately the bigger issue in the UK is that everything is based on class and middle class people think it looks lower class. Hence all OP's trashy, downmarket comments.

Then you have to feel sorry for maybe 99% of the population, which seems rather arrogant.

I don't wear makeup or have any piercings/tattoos and nor do my kids. I'm never tempted by plastic surgery.

But I'd be a lonely person if I looked down on everyone who did those things.

I sometimes think social cohesion (and to that end, some level of conformity) is a noble goal in itself and so it's worth doing some illogical things towards that logical goal.

But maybe this is a philosophical derail.

Oh no what will the people think? Who the fuck cares?

From the little you said ... let me guess. Your daughter moved abroad (to a Middle eastern countey?!?) and married a man there. She had a baby, conformed to the customs there (probably with the same what will people think view) then the relationship turned sour at best, abusive at worst she's now divorced and back in the UK with her daughter. Depending on the country she was in both her and you, are incredibly lucky to still have that little in your lives and living in the UK.

So once again, who the fuck cares that her ears are pierced? You and her mum and her , more than likely have bigger issues to deal with.

I remember years ago in Spain seeing tiny twin girls with their ears pierced. They must have only been just a few months old. I thought it was awful but assumed it was cultural.

This. But I suppose it's done so is best ignored.

Most schools will allow her to wear only the smallest sleeper studs so nothing too brash or bling for all of primary school.

You can hate it as much as you like she is not your child. She is DDs child.

It's not brilliant (and I'd advise getting titanium if possible rather than gold) but what can you do about it? It isn't something I did, or would do, with young dc but it's not as if she'd be the only child with earrings: I have worked in several nurseries in my area and there are quite a few young girls with pierced ears.

Quite common in certain European countries

That's young in my view, so...

Horses for courses

It really is. In many, many countries. Some quite "civilised ". Done to children of doctors, lawyers, gentry etc. In a lot of them it's done in the hospital by the nurses and it's tradition for a baby girl to get earrings at birth from the extended family as a gift or heirloom earrings to be left to future baby girl.

I was abandoned at birth so didn't have mine done in the hospital, I had them done at 2 instead.

It's quite crappy and narrow minded to judge whole countries(and its citizens) as cheap,trashy, chavvy etc. just because that is the view here. England/UK is not the benchmark for the entire world , and it's quite an imperialistic view to assume it is.

Seriously?

You're trolling now

Sure, but DD rejects every other aspect of the culture, even when she was there she embraced just enough to be respectful (never did hair covers, still drank in private, ignored most of the religious aspect, dressed in a way which might be seen as modest by UK standards but not the cultural standard), picking and choosing makes it seem like it isn't about culture at all.

You can hate it but ultimately if she’s happy and healthy then I think you should count your blessings.

Oh looks like I was right in my assumptions about the situation.

Did you also post about buying loads of presents for DGD for Christmas morning?

If not , there another grandma on here in a very similar situation, down to the private schooling and plenty of funds.

She doesn't have to justify herself to you. It's her child. She decides. You had your turn parenting. You need to understand your role as a grandparent and back off otherwise you're going to alienate you daughter. She's only been back for 5 minutes.

I've read that post, not the same DD wasn't abused, her ex is also living in the UK (but no contact) and different country.

It’s not your granddaughter who will be judged but your daughter.

I hate it, but it’s nothing to do with class or how it looks; I just believe that someone shouldn’t have the right to pierce another human being who hasn’t consented to it. If my mother forcibly had me pierced now (as an adult) it would be assault. But she could have done it to me as a baby/child and that would be fair game? It’s illogical.

Not unreasonable at all. It looks horrible and chavvy on tiny children. A baby is beautiful as she is, she doesn’t need decorating like a doll.

You are wrong here….most girls get theirs pierced at age 5 to 6 here….and not uncommon to get a second piercing around 9 to 10. I wouldn’t do it, but I wouldn’t let it bother me if it were my DGD🤷‍♀️