Should she replace it?

[Langarg]

My friend asked if she could borrow my Dyson airwrap for her wedding as money was tight and she couldn’t afford a hairdresser. It was a small wedding with only her, her DH and two witnesses. I reluctantly agreed (bit of a people pleaser).

The wedding was two weeks ago, we exchanged a few messages back and forth the day after her wedding. A few days later I asked if she could please return my airwrap and she didn’t reply. I messaged again saying I really need it back as I don’t have a hair dryer anymore and solely use this to dry/style my hair and she eventually replied saying she accidentally left it in the hotel however the hotel are claiming it wasn’t left there.

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it. She then sent me a link to a post on Facebook marketplace of someone selling an older model for £150 and said that if I buy that she can pay me back in 3 monthly instalments.

I don’t want to accept this because firstly why should I be out of pocket £150 and risk not being paid back and I don’t want an older model when I had the newer one which cost me nearly £500 less than a year ago.

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!

Please give me some advice…

YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

My wedding hair cost me £20. I had a similar wedding just small, cheap, us and family.

Yes, it wasn't the pinterest thing where they come out and a dozen people sit in robes with Champaign getting their hair and make up done with videos etc... but I simply booked to go to into the hairdresses where they blow dried and styled my hair and pinned my veil on (at it was pinned tight so it wouldn't come loose) for the standard 'blow style' cost then went back and got dressed.

You can't say you can't afford to get your hair done but can afford to borrow and 'lose' a £500 hairdryer. There was literally a million other options before 'needing to borrow' one of the most expensive at home devices on the market.

I doubt it was truely lost.

Why should the Op compromise on an older model? She's not getting back what she loaned to her.

Why should OP compromise at all?

As someone in hotel MGMT, I would recommend ringing the hotel yourself.
I'd be very surprised that a hotel would just say they didn't find something worth £500 and leave it at that.

How could it get 'lost' in a hotel room? Is your friend trying to imply a staff member robbed it?

Decent hotels take lost property quite seriously. Logs are kept / there are storerooms for lost property.
On many occasions I've rang guests if the item is very important (passports / large amounts of cash / wallets...)
I've had housekeepers bag up shampoos etc incase guests call back looking for items, you just never know (and yes, people ring back for shampoo).

So either your friend kept it or she hasn't even bothered to ring hotel.

I would call the cops for theft because I bet my bottom dollar it's in her house.

She sounds scum your best off away from her dodgy shitty ways

There’s no doubt that she has to buy you the same model that she lost. You can’t accept anything less!

She needs to replace it or claim on her insurance for it

This.

And I wouldn’t have jumped to her stealing it but her CF behaviour about this and other stuff makes me think she could be capable of that.

She needs to replace it with a new one. Not a used one of Facebook marketplace. Unbelievably cheeky.

She may well have pocketed it for herself, and tried her luck or sold it on for a bit of extra cash.

Or, she could be one of those people who is really careless with other people's stuff and simply left it behind at the hotel. However, if it had been left at the hotel, they would very likely have it or have record of who cleaned the room after she'd been in-thus a suspect for who may have taken it so it's doubtful that a staff member would have taken it.

What would be the point in that? Risking your job over a £500 hairdryer? Really? Stranger things, I suppose, but still off.

Most likely your friend has it, sold it on or someone else in the wedding party has sticky fingers.

Either way, she needs to replace with a brand new one and if it puts her in debt-maybe it will teach her to be more careful with other people's things in future.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. What a cheeky cow!! You've loaned her a very expensive hair tool, there's no question she has to replace the exact same one, not an older model!! Would she have decided to keep it for herself by any chance?? Would you contact the hotel yourself to make sure she's telling the truth? If it definitely was left at the hotel then she needs to take it further with them as there's no excuse to not get it back.
At the end of the day it is your hard earned money that you worked very hard for and she carelessly lost it. She may have financial problems but that's not your issue in the slightest. She's made a mistake, needs to put on her big girl pants, be a responsible adult and replace. No other option imo. Stand strong OP don't let her talk you into accepting any less. Also seriously consider no longer having her as a friend😬

I'd bet that she has just kept it.

You're too nice here, she's walking all over you. Set her straight OP. Tell her she's a CF, you won't be lending her anything again and you want a brand new one of yours isn't returned by the end of the week. Don't let this go she's taken you for an absolute mug. She isn't even your friend. I would have to take out monthly instalments on one if I'd done this to a friend. Not that I even would as I would have taken care of it. Sounds like she took a fancy to it and kept it.

Can you try and scare her and say if she hasn't sorted it with the hotel by the end of the week you'll be informing the police belongings were stolen at the hotel and tell her your asking them to check the cctv or something? It might miraculously turn up. I'm fuming on your behalf.

Argh my airwrap is 3 years old and I’d be devastated to lose it as I use it everyday and it is so expensive.

I wouldn’t be happy with a second hand one from marketplace. You won’t have a leg to stand on if it breaks in two weeks. As an aside, they are on sale on Boots at the moment for “only” £399 so you can let her know that fortunately she can save £100 on the replacement.

Tell her that as it’s such a valuable item which has gone missing from the Hotel room, then clearly a hotel staff member has stolen it and the police will need to be informed.
Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

I think what is really enraging is that if she genuinely did leave it at the hotel, if it was her own air wrap she would be going absolutely nuts at the hotel and following it up. She wouldn't just let it drop. So why isn't she pursuing the hotel in respect of your air wrap? Either she is a liar or she doesn't give a fuck. Either way she's not a good friend.

The fact that you've even been put in this position shows what a CF she is!

I borrowed some DIY equipment off a colleague for the weekend (they offered it) - I ended up breaking it (definitely my fault). I took in a brand new identical replacement on Monday morning - not a load of bloody excuses and asking them if they wanted me to replace it or not or moaning I couldn't afford it! Your 'friend' is an absolute CF and I would have zero interest in maintaining a friendship with someone like that.

I now don't lend people things as a rule - having found over the years that 75% of people who ask to borrow things have CF tendencies or at least not as careful as I would be (I'm in my 50s now - late 20s for the DIY incident - more careful now!)/becomes a hassle getting it back.

And mine
do you know the hotel they stayed at
I would be ringing the hotel - pretend to be the friend and ask if there are any updates on my “lost Dyson “
if they don’t know what your talking about … you have your answer

I think it’s worth ringing the hotel your self .

I would also let friend know that you are going to ring the hotel, to eventually get a crime number for the insurance.

I would also mention to the hotel very nicely, that could they please double check with the cleaning staff as you will have to report for a crime number- this would hopefully help jog someone’s memory, but in all honesty I can’t imagine someone risking their job over a second hand hair dryer.

could bride have lent it to some one else ? It makes little sense that she has kept it if she is (very begrudgingly) offered to put it on a credit card. I suppose she could have sold it straight away for some quick cash and hoped that you wouldn’t ask for it back .

I am sorry I suspect she liked it so much she is the one who has stolen it. Ask the hotel if someone has enquired about it.

Chapeau. 😊

Shes bang out of order! She should be replacing it with a brand new one! How cheeky is she!

Why should the OP have to accept an old, second hand model where here’s is less than a year old?

I agree, I've still got a cheap hair dryer that I bought in 2007 and it still works. I don't use it very often as I just let my hair dry naturally - its only if I'm going out and need a quick blow dry if its still wet and cold outside.

I think either your friend has it or someone at the hotel has taken it. I'd be contacting the hotel myself. Surely they or your friend can claim on their insurance. Maybe say you're reporting a theft to the police and it might turn up? Either way someone needs to provide you with a new one that's the right model.