Should she replace it?

[Langarg]

My friend asked if she could borrow my Dyson airwrap for her wedding as money was tight and she couldn’t afford a hairdresser. It was a small wedding with only her, her DH and two witnesses. I reluctantly agreed (bit of a people pleaser).

The wedding was two weeks ago, we exchanged a few messages back and forth the day after her wedding. A few days later I asked if she could please return my airwrap and she didn’t reply. I messaged again saying I really need it back as I don’t have a hair dryer anymore and solely use this to dry/style my hair and she eventually replied saying she accidentally left it in the hotel however the hotel are claiming it wasn’t left there.

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it. She then sent me a link to a post on Facebook marketplace of someone selling an older model for £150 and said that if I buy that she can pay me back in 3 monthly instalments.

I don’t want to accept this because firstly why should I be out of pocket £150 and risk not being paid back and I don’t want an older model when I had the newer one which cost me nearly £500 less than a year ago.

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!

Please give me some advice…

YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

She needs to replace it with a brand new one, no question.
Although if she refuses I don't know what you can do next...get in contact with her new husband?! (Unless he's equally as unreliable as her) 🤣

Totally reasonable she replaces. I'd message and say

Hi, hairdryer was £500. I don't want an older model as obviously it won't be as good. I'd appreciate if you could replace it as quickly as possible or alternatively transfer the £500 and I'll buy it. Thanks

If you are feeling generous you could offer that she pay in instalments of say £100 per month.

She definitely didn’t leave it at the hotel. Don’t let it lie OP. Either she raises a police incident for theft at the hotel (which she never will), she claims on her own home insurance (which will not pay out) or she buys you a like for like replacement

Whatever happens the friendship is over so make sure you get what you want from her

She didn't leave it at the hotel. No chance.

I don't believe she left it anywhere.
If she left in at the hotel she'd have contacted them immediately.
She's kept it or sold it. If they are available for £150 why couldn't she save up for it a few months before her wedding? Tell her she owes you the exact model she 'misplaced'.
She almost certainly won't pay or replace so I'd say the friendship will need to be terminated. Unless you can genuinely afford to lose it and the trust you had in her and carry it on.

She definitely kept it!

A light hearted tangent… www.walesonline.co.uk/news/real-life/man-buys-fiance-dyson-airblade-28360021

I've rarely witnessed such an overwhelming response saying that she should replace it (with a similar/the same model): 100% of the votes (881) are saying YANBU.

I'm wondering if she didn't leave it in the hotel but actually has it safely in her house.

Make her replace it. No other right option.

She has been living off you and is now pushing the boundary. Let this go and you might as well have MUG tattooed on your forehead. Also she will be at home smirking every time she uses that Air wrap. Klarna or eBay over 3 months. That simple (to me!). Currently 400 pounds at Argos/Boots

The offer of £150 replacement is cheeky af! She’s not a friend, she’s borrowed something from you, ‘lost’ it but not said until you chased it, offered a 2nd hand older version!

I hate the idea of debt but would absolutely get into debt for this.

I like @BeensOnToost message. The earlier one is a bit ott and flappy.

@Langarg I’ll admit I haven’t read full thread so don’t know if anyone has mentioned it but boots are selling it for £399, or I got mine from Dyson refurbished last year for £281, good luck

Who are the 1% who think the OP is being unreasonable?

Yeah, I also think she likely kept it or sold it, but since she has form for forgetting and losing her own things, it's possible she did simply forget it at the hotel, where it could have been stolen. However, it was still her mistake, and she should obviously apologise profusely and either get it back for you or pay for an exact replacement. It's understandable that she'll be disappointed and annoyed at an unnecessary expanse, but she only has herself to blame.

Don't let her guilt you into accepting a second-hand older model!

I do wonder if some posters may be on to something and she’s maybe kept it for herself? I didn’t even consider this a possibility. Surely no one would be so brazen?!

I didn't want to think so either - that is, until you said she has form for this sort of thing

And yes of course she needs to replace what she "lost", but getting it out of her may not be so easy ...

Don't feel awful and don't let her make you feel guilty.
She's the one who lost it, she should stump up and buy you a new one not try to palm you off with a much older one.
What a CF!

Omg what a cheeky fucker! YANBU she lost it she should replace it and not with some old second hand one on FB!!

@Langarg Reply back to her that you don't want a second hand one you want the one she lost replaced and she will have to pay it on her credit card, it isn't your problem she was careless and her sob stories are just guilt trips. I personally think she loved it and has decided to keep it and is chancing her luck that you will let this go. Don't do it OP tell her straight, get your replacement and then cut the friendship she sounds like a user. I wouldn't be surprised if she suddenly texts you the hotel found it or she forgot she packed it afterall.

Once this is sorted OP do not lend her anything thing again and if she pushes remind her she lost your £500 hair dryer and never replaced it stop people pleasing because you can be sure cheeky fuckers like your 'friend' don't care about your feelings so they aren't entitled to have their feelings be prioritised.

She needs to replace it with a new one, not a used, old model for 150 quid.
She's taking the piss and she has previous form for this too.

In the future OP don't lend anyone stuff like that. It's far too expensive and on the whole, people don't take proper care of stuff that isn't theirs.

The thing is though, the OP didn't buy a reconditioned version of the appliance, she bought a new version and she loaned that new version to this bridezilla.

If, faced with having to pay for it, she suddenly 'finds' it then you know she planned to steal it.

Don't let her guilt trip you.
You loaned it, you get it or a new one back.

I think she either stole it and kept, or stole and sold it ☹️

This would put me right off this friend. I lost respect for a friend of mine once over a smaller thing - I took her kid to the library and she’d forgotten her own library card so I let her take some books out in my card. Weeks later I got a fine from the library as the books hadn’t been returned on time. I politely asked my friend to return the books and she immediately did, but didn’t offer to pay the fine. It was a small fine, but that kind of stinginess/inconsideration puts me right off.

I’d be interested to see if the original one turned up if you insisted on £500 being spent. No way should you be left without the newer model because she’s lost it.

Available on 12 months interest free so she’s got no excuse

She has been mugging you off for years from the sounds of it so probably thinks you'll be too stupid to notice.

Or she'll say she bought one second hand from FB marketplace...

PS She didn't nearly leave your present on the bus by accident, she didn't like it.