Should she replace it?

[Langarg]

My friend asked if she could borrow my Dyson airwrap for her wedding as money was tight and she couldn’t afford a hairdresser. It was a small wedding with only her, her DH and two witnesses. I reluctantly agreed (bit of a people pleaser).

The wedding was two weeks ago, we exchanged a few messages back and forth the day after her wedding. A few days later I asked if she could please return my airwrap and she didn’t reply. I messaged again saying I really need it back as I don’t have a hair dryer anymore and solely use this to dry/style my hair and she eventually replied saying she accidentally left it in the hotel however the hotel are claiming it wasn’t left there.

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it. She then sent me a link to a post on Facebook marketplace of someone selling an older model for £150 and said that if I buy that she can pay me back in 3 monthly instalments.

I don’t want to accept this because firstly why should I be out of pocket £150 and risk not being paid back and I don’t want an older model when I had the newer one which cost me nearly £500 less than a year ago.

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!

Please give me some advice…

YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

She's got it. She will return it after the 3rd & say the hotel found it

This no question

If her story was genuine, as a good friend the correct thing would have been to immediately buy you a new one and say "I'm so sorry I lost yours so I've bought you a new one"...and then you could have said "oh but you shouldn't have"...and the friendship would be intact.

The way she's carrying on, the friendship is history, so def continue to insist on money for a new one.

Of course theft happens in hotels, but if that had happened in this case, why wouldn't OP's so-called friend have been straight on to her to tell her what happened as soon as she got back from the hotel? Several days elapsed after the wedding and OP had to ask for her AirWrap back and then her "friend" started stone-walling her. Her appalling behaviour indicates no theft was involved.

Agreed. Something that you have owned for a year from new is absolutely not comparable with one that a stranger has had for a year since new.

You've no idea what they might have done with it or whether it might have been damaged in some way that isn't immediately apparent. Even if it isn't damaged at all, it's still second hand - which is very different from your own new-bought item that you still have and use yourself after a while.

It isn't OP's fault if she gets to have had a 'free year' with hers and then a brand new replacement. She hasn't asked for a new one; just her own back - but if that can't be returned to her for whatever reason, owing to the 'friend's' carelessness or dishonesty, the only appropriate and acceptable replacement is a brand new one.

😁😀😎

She absolutely needs to replace it with a brand new one. My 15 year old borrowed my GHD’s, broken them and I made her replace them.

That said, I doubt she will and the friendship will be gone. So I’d send her a very strong message but not get my hopes up.

SURELY the only decent response from the friend is to buy OP a brand new one, the exact same model or better than what she lost? I honestly cannot see how any other response would be appropriate?? Can anyone explain? Genuinely curious!

Probably not. Lots of people don’t.

How is there any debate here???

Friend buys brand new model.

In her shoes I'd be fucking mortified and it'd be the least I'd be doing

And that, in turn, reminds me of Adventures In Babysitting/A Night On The Town, where the character fell asleep at the airport and another woman took her glasses and put them on herself, insisting that they were hers when the first woman woke up and challenged her!

Of all the things to steal, I'd have thought that glasses were a particularly stupid one; what are the chances that you have the exact same prescription as the person you stole them from? And if they're just generic reading glasses, you can buy those very cheaply from Poundland!

OP I really hope this all works out for you. It was very kind (if a bit optimistic...) to lend such an expensive item to this cheeky friend and you shouldn't come off worse because of a kind gesture.

They fascinate me, people like this 'friend'! They are very aware of who has more disposable income than them (or seems to have) and have the attitude that such people owe them, or that money and possessions shouldn't mean anything to them because they can afford to replace them.

Normal human decency goes out of the window. I knew someone who was helped by a neighbour in a plumbing crisis - he spent a long time getting mucky sorting out a blocked drain for her. When I asked if she'd taken some wine etc round, she was astounded and said 'Oh no - well, he's much richer than me!'

That's not the point. Whether people have more money than you is irrelevant - people need to do the right thing by everyone and not make such crass assumptions.

Dare we hope that this this friend will learn a life-lesson after this?

Tough. Then she shouldn't be so bloody careless with others possessions

She can get it on pay monthly installments

Agreed.

Ooh tricky one

Not in the least tricky. If she's offering installments then she pays off a new one in full. Cheeky as fuck.

I'm sure pp have said this, however I just want to mention it in case they havent - I strongly recommend that you ask ex-friend for the money to replace it NOT for her to order you a new one. Mainly because, she's shown her corner-cutting, cost-saving, CF colours and if you let her order it you're bound to receive a shitty knock-off or some second hand thing from facebook or ebay, which is unacceptable and would therefore lead to more of this back-and-forth with her.

a shitty knock-off or some second hand thing from facebook or ebay

Yes @Langarg be really careful about this I accidentally bought a counterfeit Dyson item from eBay. It melted and I only found out then!

I think she can’t afford to borrow things she can’t replace. What a dozer.

Also, just looked online and they're currently on sale. So, get her to send the £500 your original one cost, and buy your replacement asap.

I doubt a hotel worker would not want a used airwrap especially not knowing the hygene of the person owning them (or is this a bit ocd?)
Só either they are
still in the car ( the newlyweds might of forgotten they actually did pack it)
Within the new husbands things as he has yet to unpack
Under the bed in the hotel (maybe not a very clean hotel)
Can't see them as its in plain sight on bridges dressing table
On vinted/ebay/facebook

The cf has a few options there to get what does not belong to her back to her kind friend today.

And who would drive all that way to ask as it would cost time and money and if they are willing to do that they they would of called the hotel earlier and not fobbed off the op, they are not nice people (person if the husband is unaware)

Also this will probably be picked up by the tabloids and the newlywed husband will recognise the story and what a way to find out what sort of person you have only just married.

PLEASE keep us updated, OP!

And can we assume she will no longer be counted as a "friend" going forward?

I used to be a housekeeper in a hotel. You would not believe the amount of stuff people left. Carkeys (I’m assuming a spare, Suitcases, toiletries, make up bags. Clothes hanging in wardrobe, iPhones, chargers and yes even a Dyson hairdryer once. They did come back for the Dyson.

Most stuff was just kept for a month and then chucked.

DH and I managed to leave our passports in a hotel safe at Heathrow. Fortunately we were on our way back from a trip. They were thankfully handed in. We had to go back and get them in person as the hotel quite rightly refused to post them.

I agree the CF is lying through her teeth.

Does she really expect you to believe that the box was so well camouflaged by the carpet that her DH failed to see it? Bullshit. And in the unlikely event it is true how come the hotel staff didn't trip over it when they went into clean if it was left in the doorway? Double bullshit.

And do you really think she's going on a 4 hour round trip to the hotel when you know yourself that they know nothing about it? Nope. She likes your airwrap so much that she's kept it for herself and is hoping you'll do what you've done in the past and let it go.

She's been taking advantage of you long enough. Stop being a mug. Go round to her house and tell her you need your airwrap for tonight as you're going out and if she can't locate it, she needs to go out and buy a replacement today and you'll either go with her or wait until she comes back.

And don't ever lend this so called "friend" anything ever again!

She stole it.