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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should she replace it?

1000 replies

Langarg · 30/12/2024 16:57

My friend asked if she could borrow my Dyson airwrap for her wedding as money was tight and she couldn’t afford a hairdresser. It was a small wedding with only her, her DH and two witnesses. I reluctantly agreed (bit of a people pleaser).

The wedding was two weeks ago, we exchanged a few messages back and forth the day after her wedding. A few days later I asked if she could please return my airwrap and she didn’t reply. I messaged again saying I really need it back as I don’t have a hair dryer anymore and solely use this to dry/style my hair and she eventually replied saying she accidentally left it in the hotel however the hotel are claiming it wasn’t left there.

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it. She then sent me a link to a post on Facebook marketplace of someone selling an older model for £150 and said that if I buy that she can pay me back in 3 monthly instalments.

I don’t want to accept this because firstly why should I be out of pocket £150 and risk not being paid back and I don’t want an older model when I had the newer one which cost me nearly £500 less than a year ago.

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!

Please give me some advice…

YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
ThejoyofNC · 31/12/2024 06:35

Suspicious that she's going back on the second isn't it. Almost like she wants to use it for NYE first!!

DreamTheMoors · 31/12/2024 06:46

YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAD TO ASK.

She should’ve replaced it before you knew it was missing — like any decent person.

Bananaram · 31/12/2024 06:54

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2024 20:15

I'd have thought that if money were of so little object someone would spend £500 on a hairdryer, it wouldn't be an issue.

Mine was about £30. It does the job. We are extremely comfortable.

So the OP should just suck it up because she can clearly afford to replace it? I think not.

People are allowed to spend their money on whatever they want, regardless of whether other people think it's silly.

I think it's madness to spend thousands on a holiday, other people do that every year and that's there perogative - none of my business

(And yes, I have an air wrap, and my hair has been transformed from a frizzy mess to silky smooth, one of the best £500s I've ever spent 💃)

ThePoshUns · 31/12/2024 06:55

She is definitely planning on doing her hair with it CF.
I'd tell her you can't wait any longer and that you're reporting the theft by the hotel to the police and that she will need to provide a witness statement.

VanillaVein · 31/12/2024 07:10

Just caught up with the thread. I wish this friend nothing but crappy, knotted hair for the new year.

Letstheriveranswer · 31/12/2024 07:11

She has behaved terribly, she should have come clean immediately.

She should get you a new one to replace what you had...you dint know if the older one will irk for long or is faulty and she should replace like for like.

If she has good enough credit rating she can get this - if it's the right model - and can pay it off over a year interest free

www.currys.co.uk/products/dyson-airwrap-complete-long-volumise-multistyler-and-dryer-prussian-blue-and-rich-copper-10264783.html?searchTerm=Dyson%20

OliveLeader · 31/12/2024 07:11

YANBU. She needs to buy a new one on her credit card and suck up the repayment cost.

Jifmicroliquid · 31/12/2024 07:14

I am fuming on your behalf!
I don’t think she lost it, I think she’s keeping hold of it for herself. If she’s reading this she ought to be ashamed of herself, scummy woman stealing from her friend.

RadioCountdown · 31/12/2024 07:22

DreamTheMoors · 31/12/2024 06:46

YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAD TO ASK.

She should’ve replaced it before you knew it was missing — like any decent person.

Agree.

Aberentian · 31/12/2024 07:22

CakeSale · 30/12/2024 21:27

Those considering an air wrap might like to know that a group of workers from the Malaysian factories have just been granted permission to sue Dyson over allegations that they were kept in conditions of forced labour - including being beaten when they didn't meet onerous targets, and not being paid for all the work done.

Thanks for flagging this, I wasn't aware of that.

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 31/12/2024 07:37

For those saying the friend is keeping it and taking it for NYE, I don’t agree, she’d bring it over today once she realised the OP is prepared to call the hotel. She’d get it sorted asap.

saying 2nd Jan to go to the hotel (who’ve already said they’ve not got it) seems more likely that the friend knows who’s got the Styler and will be going to their house on 1st/2nd anyway. I guess one of the two people who was a witness at the wedding, she just left it with them. Or maybe another friend she let borrow it from her.

(OP - be prepared for it not to be in a good state /not have all the attachments you lent it with.)

MeridianB · 31/12/2024 07:39

She so kept it. How awful.

The lies are coming so easily to her - left at hotel, staff won’t help, here’s a second hand one online for you while I keep the new one, we’re travelling to to the hotel etc etc.

I think you’re right, OP. It will magically turn up after a fake trip to the hotel.

Time to wrap up this ‘friendship’ now.

whowhatwerewhy · 31/12/2024 07:52

I would be ringing her back . I would want a new air wrap today or money bank transferred so you can nip to boots and purchase one .
You cannot wait for her fictitious trip to the hotel. She has supposedly rang them ( lie ) and they can't find it . You have rang and been told it's not there . It's not got to miraculously show up just because she supposedly drives up there .

MoreHappy · 31/12/2024 07:52

Tell her when she goes back to hotel (which I believe is a lie) if it’s not there she needs to report it stolen and you need the crime number to be in contact with the right police officer

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 31/12/2024 07:52

Langarg · 30/12/2024 21:39

When I asked her how she managed to forget it she told me that when they were packing up to leave she left all her bits by the door and that her DH forgot to lift it. She said he likely missed it because the carpets were a deep blue, the same colour as the box.

I’ve been such a mug haven’t I! I can’t believe I believed it had genuinely been left in the hotel!

Show quote history

Are the carpets actually blue? I’d be going full on detective mode and call her out 🤣

MoreHappy · 31/12/2024 07:53

And I would ask the hotel staff to kindly send you a photo of the carpet of the hotel room she was in. Doubt it is deep blue!

bigkidatheart · 31/12/2024 07:54

I personally think she has kept it and it will miraculously appear on the 2nd when they 'drive to the hotel'. Check out her hair for new years

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 31/12/2024 07:55

I would also be telling her if it’s not found you will have to go to the police to get a crime number. I bet it comes back magically.

Also, if it doesn’t come back fully as you lent it, with all the bits etc, then absolutely push for a new one still.

I can’t believe her! I think she has sold it and now she’s trying to get it back. But also be prepared that she might be buying the second hand one and pretending it is yours.

mildlydispeptic · 31/12/2024 07:56

She's a massive CF with no principles. Absolutely do not accept some clapped out second hand replacement. Send her the amazon link for the exact model.

Doggielove · 31/12/2024 08:01

CandyCane5 · 30/12/2024 22:05

If she can't afford something herself then she should be extra careful when she's borrowing something of value. Unbelievably shitty attitude of her. Of course she should replace it 🥴

This in spades

Doggielove · 31/12/2024 08:02

ThePoshUns · 31/12/2024 06:55

She is definitely planning on doing her hair with it CF.
I'd tell her you can't wait any longer and that you're reporting the theft by the hotel to the police and that she will need to provide a witness statement.

Yes this, the longer you keave a ‘theft’ the less chance of getting adequate detail

Strictlymad · 31/12/2024 08:04

Deffo go with her!

Bonsaitree7 · 31/12/2024 08:11

Omg my airwrap is my pride and joy, I would be going absolutely nuts OP! She is no friend of yours. If she doesn't pay you back/buy you a new one, publicly shame her! Tell all mutual friends she has stolen from you and screwed you over.

feelingfree17 · 31/12/2024 08:14

It is absolutely her responsibility to replace with a brand new one. She should have taken even more care as it was a borrowed item. Her own fault she is going to have to go in to debt over this. I think this will end the “friendship” but you need to be giving this one a big swerve.

RadFs · 31/12/2024 08:15

This reminds me of the friend that pawned her friends designer shoes.

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