Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should she replace it?

1000 replies

Langarg · 30/12/2024 16:57

My friend asked if she could borrow my Dyson airwrap for her wedding as money was tight and she couldn’t afford a hairdresser. It was a small wedding with only her, her DH and two witnesses. I reluctantly agreed (bit of a people pleaser).

The wedding was two weeks ago, we exchanged a few messages back and forth the day after her wedding. A few days later I asked if she could please return my airwrap and she didn’t reply. I messaged again saying I really need it back as I don’t have a hair dryer anymore and solely use this to dry/style my hair and she eventually replied saying she accidentally left it in the hotel however the hotel are claiming it wasn’t left there.

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it. She then sent me a link to a post on Facebook marketplace of someone selling an older model for £150 and said that if I buy that she can pay me back in 3 monthly instalments.

I don’t want to accept this because firstly why should I be out of pocket £150 and risk not being paid back and I don’t want an older model when I had the newer one which cost me nearly £500 less than a year ago.

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!

Please give me some advice…

YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
RogueFemale · 31/12/2024 01:51

Tearsricochet · 31/12/2024 01:39

There is no way you could work out any of this.

The OP shouldn’t be out of pocket at all. Her friend should not be making her feel bad for her carelessness.

Show quote history

That is the way the law works. It's not being 'out of pocket', as OP would get a brand new Dyson instead of the used one.

PyongyangKipperbang · 31/12/2024 01:53

Tearsricochet · 31/12/2024 01:39

There is no way you could work out any of this.

The OP shouldn’t be out of pocket at all. Her friend should not be making her feel bad for her carelessness.

Show quote history

That is the legal position. Morally it stinks, but legally the OP would be reimbursed for what she lost which is (say) 9 years of use out of an item guaranteed for 10 years, because she has already had one years use out of it.

Like when you buy a car and insure it for say £10k as thats what you paid for it and then someone writes it off a year later, you wont get £10k back for it. You will get its worth on the day it was written off, and it will be lower than what you paid because it has extra mileage, age, wear and tear etc on it.

VegTrug · 31/12/2024 01:56

@offcom Doh that link won’t work for me

Littlemisscapable · 31/12/2024 02:12

JustSawJohnny · 31/12/2024 01:47

Oh my days - she DOES have it!!

No way would anyone do a trip that big to check in person if they'd already been told it wasn't there on the phone.

She hasn't rung and she has your hairdryer!

What a CF!!!

I think this might have to be friendship over, for me.

This 'friendship' is soooooo over. Unbelievably cheeky. I am so annoyed for you that you don't have your own dyson back for Xmas/NY. Why do you have to wait ? She should be sending you replacement immediately.

RogueFemale · 31/12/2024 02:48

@PyongyangKipperbang That is the legal position. Morally it stinks, but legally the OP would be reimbursed for what she lost which is (say) 9 years of use out of an item guaranteed for 10 years, because she has already had one years use out of it.

There is no moral stink. It's a really established tenet of civil law, that when you suffer a loss you don't get new for old, and it works both ways and is completely fair.

Example, a tenant in a rental property ruins a fitted carpet. The carpet is 9 years old and expected to last for 10 before requiring replacement; tenant is liable for 10% of the replacement cost.

Or, the carpet is 1 year old, then the tenant is liable for 90% of the replacement cost.

WhatShudWeDoDrunkenSailor · 31/12/2024 02:49

@Langarg you have been taken for a fool but that's on her not you

PyongyangKipperbang · 31/12/2024 02:58

RogueFemale · 31/12/2024 02:48

@PyongyangKipperbang That is the legal position. Morally it stinks, but legally the OP would be reimbursed for what she lost which is (say) 9 years of use out of an item guaranteed for 10 years, because she has already had one years use out of it.

There is no moral stink. It's a really established tenet of civil law, that when you suffer a loss you don't get new for old, and it works both ways and is completely fair.

Example, a tenant in a rental property ruins a fitted carpet. The carpet is 9 years old and expected to last for 10 before requiring replacement; tenant is liable for 10% of the replacement cost.

Or, the carpet is 1 year old, then the tenant is liable for 90% of the replacement cost.

I suspect that you are I are saying the same thing.

That if the OP takes her (now ex) friend to small claims she wont get the value of a brand new hairfryer, she will get its worth after (say) one years use plus wear and tear and deprication.

When I say morally it stinks, I mean that morally the ex friends owes her a brand new one, but legally that isnt what she will get in small claims.

RogueFemale · 31/12/2024 03:00

PyongyangKipperbang · 31/12/2024 02:58

I suspect that you are I are saying the same thing.

That if the OP takes her (now ex) friend to small claims she wont get the value of a brand new hairfryer, she will get its worth after (say) one years use plus wear and tear and deprication.

When I say morally it stinks, I mean that morally the ex friends owes her a brand new one, but legally that isnt what she will get in small claims.

Show quote history

Ah then, I agree. Morally, the friend does stink.

NormalUntilNot · 31/12/2024 03:16

You do not want this person in your life for a second longer after you get your wrap / new wrap.

RosieBurdock · 31/12/2024 04:02

Moveoverdarlin · 30/12/2024 17:05

This is outrageous. Personally I think she’s sold it.

I would say:

Hi Jo

I have to say I’m really disappointed. I didn’t want to lend you a £500 piece of kit for your wedding, I really didn’t. I did it out of the goodness of my heart because we’re friends. I can’t believe you’ve lost it! It’s so so careless. I use it everyday! It’s my hairdryer! I don’t want an older one from bloody Facebook marketplace! I didn’t lose the brand new one. YOU DID!

Can you transfer £500 to me by close of play tomorrow? I’ll by a new one. Account details are: XYZ.

I think the moral of the story for you is to just buy your own things and not rely on others generosity.

This has taught us both a valuable lesson.

Edited

I agree with this.

HoppingPavlova · 31/12/2024 04:05

It’s either in her bathroom at home or she has sold it on and would still be making a profit giving you a 150 pound old model which may die any day.

If she did honestly leave it in the hotel she would/should have replaced it straight away. Not doing so means there is something fishy.

She is one cheeky fucker and that would be the end of the friendship for me.

2025HereICome · 31/12/2024 04:29

Shamelessly place marking

Justdontdoit · 31/12/2024 04:36

I’m on the am she stole it or at the very least someone she knows stole it. You said it was a small wedding party, so that is also unlikely. You can’t even call her a friend as she does not fit the definition

HelmholtzWatson · 31/12/2024 04:40

Moveoverdarlin · 30/12/2024 17:05

This is outrageous. Personally I think she’s sold it.

I would say:

Hi Jo

I have to say I’m really disappointed. I didn’t want to lend you a £500 piece of kit for your wedding, I really didn’t. I did it out of the goodness of my heart because we’re friends. I can’t believe you’ve lost it! It’s so so careless. I use it everyday! It’s my hairdryer! I don’t want an older one from bloody Facebook marketplace! I didn’t lose the brand new one. YOU DID!

Can you transfer £500 to me by close of play tomorrow? I’ll by a new one. Account details are: XYZ.

I think the moral of the story for you is to just buy your own things and not rely on others generosity.

This has taught us both a valuable lesson.

Edited

Good god, don't send this.

Daisydaisy2024 · 31/12/2024 04:59

RosesAndHellebores · 30/12/2024 20:15

I'd have thought that if money were of so little object someone would spend £500 on a hairdryer, it wouldn't be an issue.

Mine was about £30. It does the job. We are extremely comfortable.

So you'd be ok with thieving from someone if you had erroneously decided they were well off.

Up to you, of course. Most of us have a different moral compass.

Blasting · 31/12/2024 05:08

Boots have airwrsps on sale for £399.00 at the moment. She should order you one from there.

Fraaances · 31/12/2024 05:12

Call the hotel and ask what colour the carpet in her room was....

Lutfia · 31/12/2024 05:15

She put herself in debt by being negligent. She should buy you the £500 Dyson no questions asked

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 31/12/2024 05:31

I think you should tell her you have a phone meeting with the hotel manager today about a possible police report required and requesting any cctv footage … ( also drop in a thank you I will mention the carpet was the same colour as the Dyson case - which sounds like BS) be neutral and sweet play along with her story for now and watch her panic
as I think she said the 2nd as she wants to use the Dyson on NYE’s/ recover on the 1st then oh my … what do you know we found the Dyson at the bottom of the bag, car etc

Mercurysinretrograde · 31/12/2024 05:49

Yes, she’s planning on keeping it to use it tonight for NYE! CF of the highest order!

EdgyWriter · 31/12/2024 06:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

justworking · 31/12/2024 06:30

Mercurysinretrograde · 31/12/2024 05:49

Yes, she’s planning on keeping it to use it tonight for NYE! CF of the highest order!

This is what I thought!

partridgeinasweartree · 31/12/2024 06:32

Why can't she go to the hotel immediately? Oh wait yeah of course....she wants to use it on NYE. I'd be ditching this 'friend' as soon as she magically returns it

arcticpandas · 31/12/2024 06:32

Langarg · 30/12/2024 21:39

When I asked her how she managed to forget it she told me that when they were packing up to leave she left all her bits by the door and that her DH forgot to lift it. She said he likely missed it because the carpets were a deep blue, the same colour as the box.

I’ve been such a mug haven’t I! I can’t believe I believed it had genuinely been left in the hotel!

Show quote history

You're not a mug OP. She is (was?) your friend ! You don't expect friends to steal and lie to you !!

If I were you I would get a hold of the manager of the hotel to clear this business up once and for all. Even if you don't manage to talk to them do tell your friend that you have and that they are certain no airwrap has been left and that they have had no prior requests to your call. Tell her you saved her the trip so she can go ahead and order your airwrap right now. Be firm.

So sorry for you. But you should definitely ditch this lying stealing woman once you got your airwrap back. Keep us informed!

dontcryformeargentina · 31/12/2024 06:34

Snowmanscarf · 30/12/2024 17:04

Yes, she should replace it, like for like.

Exactly! It just shows again that no good deeds go unpunished

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.