Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should she replace it?

1000 replies

Langarg · 30/12/2024 16:57

My friend asked if she could borrow my Dyson airwrap for her wedding as money was tight and she couldn’t afford a hairdresser. It was a small wedding with only her, her DH and two witnesses. I reluctantly agreed (bit of a people pleaser).

The wedding was two weeks ago, we exchanged a few messages back and forth the day after her wedding. A few days later I asked if she could please return my airwrap and she didn’t reply. I messaged again saying I really need it back as I don’t have a hair dryer anymore and solely use this to dry/style my hair and she eventually replied saying she accidentally left it in the hotel however the hotel are claiming it wasn’t left there.

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it. She then sent me a link to a post on Facebook marketplace of someone selling an older model for £150 and said that if I buy that she can pay me back in 3 monthly instalments.

I don’t want to accept this because firstly why should I be out of pocket £150 and risk not being paid back and I don’t want an older model when I had the newer one which cost me nearly £500 less than a year ago.

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!

Please give me some advice…

YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
thescandalwascontained · 30/12/2024 23:12

Langarg · 30/12/2024 20:37

Money isn’t of little object, I used my bonus to treat myself.

Anyway, I have an update! I decided not to give her the heads up that I was calling the hotel. I called the hotel and they knew nothing of it. Instead of messaging my ‘friend’ I decided to put her on the spot and phone her, rather than giving her a chance to think of a reply by text message.

I asked her if she definitely stayed at (insert name of hotel), as I’d contacted them and they had heard nothing of the airwrap having been left. She started going on about GDPR and that they probably couldn’t speak about other guests hotel stay. I told her that I’m disappointed it’s dragged out for as long as it has and that I’d like her to order a new airwrap tonight. She said that her and DH are going to drive to the hotel on the 2nd to speak to the manager in person… I have a funny feeling she’s speaking BS and that the airwrap will magically appear following her fake return trip to the hotel! After all, it’s a 4 hour round trip for her to make. Watch this space!

Show quote history

She's clearly 100% full of sh*t and it will likely 'magically' reappear now.

She's not your friend.

Chickdaft · 30/12/2024 23:12

Memyselfmilly · 30/12/2024 22:51

Wtf??? Rtft!!

Show quote history

I was being sarcastic!!! Guessing her dear friend kept it as the dark blue box nearly matched the carpet colour…….aye right…..

1dontunderstand · 30/12/2024 23:12

I can't wait for the update.

I'm on the team of she stole it!

ThisAvalanche · 30/12/2024 23:12

Just call her out on the lies. The imaginary drive to the hotel is such crap. Just - as other posters have suggested - tell her you're filing a police report given the cost of the item. That should help it unexpectedly turn up in the bottom of the DH's bag.

And actually do it, tbh?

Alittlebitfluffy · 30/12/2024 23:13

👀

AutoP1lot · 30/12/2024 23:17

I wouldn't be giving her until the 2nd. Tell her you need a replacement tomorrow

CeceliaImrie · 30/12/2024 23:18

Imagine leaving your friends expensive loaned Dyson air wrap in the hotel in the first place.

You'd be careful as fuck with it. She's a sneaky disrespectful sod.

Yousay55 · 30/12/2024 23:18

You did make a mistake in lending it to her, considering how you know she is prone to ‘forget’ things. Never a lender nor borrower
be!
That said, she really should replace what she lost with like for like. If she can’t afford it in one lump, perhaps go halves with her or take her up on monthly payments-though I expect she’ll not manage those either.
You’ve learnt a valuable lesson-I’m learning them all the time!

RadFs · 30/12/2024 23:20

She’s kept it for herself @Langarg

Purpleburst · 30/12/2024 23:23

surely she wouldn’t have kept it for herself!!!!

ThisAvalanche · 30/12/2024 23:23

Demand £500 back (perfectly reasonable). However, probably expect your friendship to be over or at least seriously impaired if you take this option

The friendship was 'seriously impaired' by the CF stealing a £500 AirWrap. Seriously? There's no coming back from this sort of thing.

Chickdaft · 30/12/2024 23:26

Maybe the op is buying a new one for herself at £400 in the ‘sales’ and is too soft to ask for her original one to be replaced? Who knows…….id have asked for mine back in £££, but guess that’s just me, not her?

ThisAvalanche · 30/12/2024 23:27

CeceliaImrie · 30/12/2024 23:18

Imagine leaving your friends expensive loaned Dyson air wrap in the hotel in the first place.

You'd be careful as fuck with it. She's a sneaky disrespectful sod.

That's the reality, isn't it? You'd be SO careful to return it in perfect condition. Most people would return with a note and a little thank you gift or something.

What an awful woman.

NameChanges123 · 30/12/2024 23:30

She sounds like a CF to me. If I lost/damaged someone else's stuff, I'd be a) feeling bloody guilty and b) replacing it as soon as possible with something the same or better.

It sounds like she's only seeing this as an inconvenience to HERSELF!

Babyghirl · 30/12/2024 23:34

@Langarg sorry but I would have to phone the hotel and ask them what colour there carpets r or look the hotel up lol.

AngelicKaty · 30/12/2024 23:34

Chickdaft · 30/12/2024 23:26

Maybe the op is buying a new one for herself at £400 in the ‘sales’ and is too soft to ask for her original one to be replaced? Who knows…….id have asked for mine back in £££, but guess that’s just me, not her?

"Who knows"? You would if you could be bothered to read ALL of OP's posts before posting more of your nonsense. It's not difficult. Go to the pale green headline bar at the top of any page on this thread and click on "OP Posts: See all". You will then see all of OP's posts in isolation (without any replies) so you can see everything OP has done to try to resolve this situation. Sigh. 🙄

MoetUndChandon · 30/12/2024 23:35

I wouldn't even want to wait till the 2nd.

Rainee123 · 30/12/2024 23:37

Should be a like for like replacement. I.e new and not a second hand, older model she found on Facebook

Tooty78 · 30/12/2024 23:39

Does anyone recall the post from earlier this year where the OP had loaned her 'friend' some expensive designer shoes for the 'friend's wedding that the OP's brother had gifted her?
The shoes were never returned, and when the OP contacted the 'friend' about them the 'friend' said she thought OP had given them to her, and had pawned them!!!!!
Cue loads of outrage from Mumsnetterx (rightly so) lots of communications 'twixt the former friends and the pawnbrokers.

The OP did eventually get them back, but I can't remember who paid what. It was quite a saga.

With 'friends' like these......

PeppyGreenFinch · 30/12/2024 23:40

Get it back and them dump the friendship.

FamBae · 30/12/2024 23:47

As pp said she may be trying to hang on to them for new year, I would tell her she owes you for the cost of a salon blow dry as an apology.

Bigjohn12345 · 30/12/2024 23:49

Moveoverdarlin · 30/12/2024 17:05

This is outrageous. Personally I think she’s sold it.

I would say:

Hi Jo

I have to say I’m really disappointed. I didn’t want to lend you a £500 piece of kit for your wedding, I really didn’t. I did it out of the goodness of my heart because we’re friends. I can’t believe you’ve lost it! It’s so so careless. I use it everyday! It’s my hairdryer! I don’t want an older one from bloody Facebook marketplace! I didn’t lose the brand new one. YOU DID!

Can you transfer £500 to me by close of play tomorrow? I’ll by a new one. Account details are: XYZ.

I think the moral of the story for you is to just buy your own things and not rely on others generosity.

This has taught us both a valuable lesson.

Edited

That is an absolutely perfect way to reply and I totally agree with all that you’ve said.

ThereIsIron · 30/12/2024 23:51

AngelicKaty · 30/12/2024 23:34

"Who knows"? You would if you could be bothered to read ALL of OP's posts before posting more of your nonsense. It's not difficult. Go to the pale green headline bar at the top of any page on this thread and click on "OP Posts: See all". You will then see all of OP's posts in isolation (without any replies) so you can see everything OP has done to try to resolve this situation. Sigh. 🙄

Show quote history

Not available on the Android app, surprise surprise

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 30/12/2024 23:56

Langarg · 30/12/2024 20:37

Money isn’t of little object, I used my bonus to treat myself.

Anyway, I have an update! I decided not to give her the heads up that I was calling the hotel. I called the hotel and they knew nothing of it. Instead of messaging my ‘friend’ I decided to put her on the spot and phone her, rather than giving her a chance to think of a reply by text message.

I asked her if she definitely stayed at (insert name of hotel), as I’d contacted them and they had heard nothing of the airwrap having been left. She started going on about GDPR and that they probably couldn’t speak about other guests hotel stay. I told her that I’m disappointed it’s dragged out for as long as it has and that I’d like her to order a new airwrap tonight. She said that her and DH are going to drive to the hotel on the 2nd to speak to the manager in person… I have a funny feeling she’s speaking BS and that the airwrap will magically appear following her fake return trip to the hotel! After all, it’s a 4 hour round trip for her to make. Watch this space!

Show quote history

@Langarg She definitely still has your Airwrap! I suspect the cheeky bitch really loved it and decided since you're usually a pushover she hatched the plan saying she lost it hoping you would accept that and forget all about it and she could keep it instead of buying one of her own. Now she knows you called the hotel she's panicking that she'll be found out.

Sparxdislike · 30/12/2024 23:56

I would contact the hotel (ask her for info) and let her know your logging a police report. Just as other posters have suggested. It's an expensive item. Hopefully it will turn up 🤞

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread