To think DP is being used by so called "friend"

[Queenjuliana]

Apologies for the long post, it takes a bit of explaining....DP has a friend who lives in Germany with his partner. DP and friend have known each other since childhood, went to school together etc. They are only in contact via social media, mainly to talk about football and reminisce about the old days. From what I can gather, the friend leads an "alternative" lifestyle. They don't have proper jobs, they smoke dope, and are self described "anarchists" ( whatever that is!) The friend's wife has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. The friend has asked my partner to set up a Go Fund me page to raise money for her. The target is £9000. Apparently he does not want to do this himself because the money cannot be traceable to him. After lots of questioning to a very defensive DP, this is what I've managed to surmise..She is getting free health care treatment in Germany for her cancer. But due to the cancer she cannot work (cleaning job I believe) So they want the funds for living expenses. Germany of course have a sickness benefit which can be claimed but I'm assuming they haven't paid anything into the scheme as they are not eligible. So why am I resentful of this kind act my DP is doing? This friend has history of coming to DP when he needs money. DP is a soft touch, very kindhearted and an easy target. He talked him into "investing" £500 in the past to some hare brained music company he was supposedly setting up. Obviously the money was never seen again. Also, why can't the friend support his own wife? I personally can't see why he expects other people to donate to their living expenses because he hasn't bothered to get a decent job, and because they haven't paid into the health insurance scheme over there. The collection is going well and they have got to £7000. On top of this, because the money has to be untraceable, the friend has to have it in cash so DP has agreed to fly to Germany with it!! I know it's not my business but it all sounds so dodgy and underhand. I have every sympathy for her cancer diagnosis but she is getting well cared for and her prognosis is good as caught early. I'm pretty sure the friend would not be doing the same for DP if the roles were reversed. AIBU to think DP is being taken for a mug and this whole thing sounds like a scam?

I imagine your husband will have to declare this on his tax return, and pay tax on it. It is income after all. Maje sure he gets the tax from the friend or deducts it first.

She is getting free health care treatment in Germany for her cancer. But due to the cancer she cannot work (cleaning job I believe) So they want the funds for living expenses. Germany of course have a sickness benefit which can be claimed but I'm assuming they haven't paid anything into the scheme as they are not eligible

There's a rabbit away there. If she's getting free health care then she has to have been health insured and that means either she had that through her job, through self-employment or if she was registered as unemployed, via the unemployment office. In Germany it is compulsory to be paying in to the system. If you aren't insured like that you would have to pay the medical expenses yourself. They obviously aren't, otherwise the gofundme would be for "my poor wife, nasty Germany want us to pay 100K for her cancer treatment"

This means she was registered somewhere doing something prior to the illness and that means that she is entitled to sick pay. It could be quite a small amount if she was earning little before hand or if she's self-employed and opted out of paying the sick pay insurance. There is "Sozialhilfe" and "Bürgergeld" too, although that isn't a huge amount of money. If people have savings that reduces entitlement.

The whole thing sounds dodgy. They are up to something. I'm not sure what. I don't live in Germany but in a nearby country which has similar systems. They need the money to be untraceable because they don't want the German government finding out. If a large amount of money comes into a bank account from abroad the bank have to report it under money-laundering rules. When I received an inheritance the bank manager rang me up the moment it arrived in my account and wanted proof of where it came from so I had to get a solicitor's letter to say that it was an inheritance.

They are "anarchists" and that's all well and good, until someone needs treatment for a nasty disease and then they want the government to fork out for them and if that isn't enough money they want others (who aren't anarchists) to donate.

Your DP should stay well clear but it sounds like he's going ahead with taking cash into Germany anyway, no matter what you say.

I wonder what the cash withdrawal laundering trigger is for the bank? That will be a consideration not just taking the cash abroad.

Withdrawing large amounts of cash and taking it overseas might not be illegal, but it's dodgy as fuck and your DH is being a complete idiot to get involved in this. There could be benefit fraud involved or drugs or a dodgy business deal, the only thing that will be known for sure is that the money went into his account and then was withdrawn in cash and disappeared. This is a really really stupid thing to do.

I don't understand why the friend can't be named on the GoFundMe. There's definitely something going on there. I didn't think GoFundMe was taxable so can't see how it could be linked to benefit fraud - so why wouldn't the friend be the person organising it for his sick wife?

I'd report the go fund as being fraudulent, anonymously but I'm petty like that.

This stinks of your fraud. Your op could be implicit in this if anything goes wrong!

Is DP 100% sure she’s even ill?

Someone will need to declare this for tax purposes, if its in your DH's name that's him.

A quick Google:
As per the law, you are required to report revenue from crowdfunding on your returns, this includes gifts, which are considered taxable income. For donation crowdfunding, the backer cannot claim tax relief unless the project is a charity and if so, will be awarded in the form of Gift Aid.

Clearly dodgy on so many levels I can barely believe your DH is involved in this.

There are slightly different rules and regs for someone setting up a GFM in Germany rather than the UK.

And it can attract tax, depending on how the donations/contributions are viewed. I imagine OP will have to declare it on annual returns.

I suppose one clue for the OP is how "transparent" is the GFM page? Does it mention names and details? Could anyone find it, or does it feel more like a contained, discreet campaign?

There are laws as to how much cash can be taken into countries. Double check the rules for Germany as you don’t want your hubby getting in trouble!! If approached my customs they are gonna want to know what the cash is for.

I agree it sounds totally dodgy. I don’t understand how this friend having the money (traceable to him) would risk his wife’s treatment etc. The treatment isn’t means tested and they’re not entitled to the disability benefit, so it wouldn’t affect anything.

I wouldn’t touch this with a barge pole, and I would expect DH to think the same. The fact it needs to be untraceable is a massive red flag.

if they want this cash they need to come and collect it.

Come on now! your DP needs wake up! his wife does not have cancer!! This is a fraudulent money making scheme. So called friend is involving your DP in criminal activity.

Also, if these ‘anarchists’ are in anyway on a German government ‘watchlist’ then your hubby could get in trouble for funding them!!

Your partner is a fool

I'd be telling him to not bother with a return ticket, he can fly 1 way and go and live with the pair of scammers that he's enabling.

Or I'd be really sly and report them to Germany's benefits office, they're scammers and it's fraud. Simple as that.

I'd have completely got the ick with my partner if he was being that dense and naive.

I’d also be telling your DP that you will report this to the relevant British and German airport authorities if he insists on transporting the money himself. Does he like the taste of prison food?

@Queenjuliana

If you made it clear you were going to leave your DP over this dodgy scheme do you think that would make him think again?

Sounds really dodgy and some sort of fraud. It can be fraud if the money collected for the purpose stated on the GoFundMe. So if someone says it's for medical expenses but gets used for a holiday it could be construed as fraud. I would even question if the wife even had cancer horrible though that sounds.

The anarchist husband gets all that money via the OPs husband; the whole thing is identified as fraud; the only records they have is the OPs husband receiving the money; anarchist husbands denies all knowledge of GFM and denies having received a penny. This has scam written all over it.

Sorry. Should read it can be considered fraud if the money collected by the GFM isn't used for the purpose outlined in the GFM

You can’t stop people making stupid decisions.
Just make sure you are clear in writing:

“are you sure this is even legal? I don’t want anything to do with it!”

Then don’t get involved anymore. Make him aware that if there are any financial implications regarding this then you will absolutely not be bailing him out. I see you aren’t married… do you share a house? A mortgage? A bank account…etc?

https://www.lemonde.fr/en/international/article/2024/12/24/germany-far-right-party-afd-holds-march-after-christmas-market-attack67363999_4.html

Someone I know of told everyone she knew she had terminal brain tumour...

The whole thing... Scans/specialist letters /prescription lists...

ALL WAS FAKE...

It seems you can appropriate these online pretty easily. easily...

I would NOT be swayed by blood test results...

I've had a lot of rubbish health... Not once have I shown /wanted to show anyone my blood results... But then I'm not trying to scam money...

He's a fool..

Please at least tell me your DP is not forking out for his own flights and expenses etc for doing this? @Queenjuliana

Better he's doing this than dipping in to the fund he's created for expenses; as @CountTo10 says above, donors/contributors have the right to expect their money (less the GFM fee) to go direct to the beneficiary for the cause stated

That’s… quite literally the opposite of anarchism (far left). I’m a little confused.

I agree this sounds very dodgy and I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.
I told my husband about it, he said he loves his friends but no way would he get involved.
I think he's getting angry with you because he knows it's not right.
On the other hand, how would anyone in the airport know that he was carrying that amount of money.
I haven't flown for years since before Covid, so don't know if things have changed.
Do they x ray all luggage, and would money show up ?

I wouldn’t put up to £10k in checked luggage! There are cash sniffer dogs in airports.