To get married when I earn more/own property?

[ellbigggb]

just that really. Have always wanted to get married to my partner of 10 years, we have 2 children together so I’d like the same last name. However, I own the house we live in solely and he is not in a good position financially- debt, won’t be able to buy a house together for a very long time etc…

DON'T! If you want to wear a pretty dress for the day do a hand fasting ceremony or similar and have a party, change your name to his by deed poll but do not shackle yourself to someone who's proven himself to be a bit unreliable in the past. See a solicitor about him living in your house with you and paying towards your bills/mortgage. There might be a contract you could put in place which allows him to pay towards the property and its use but voids any claim he might have over it in the event of a split. If there isn't, you'll have to dispense with his contribution in order to keep the roof over your head intact.

Because women generally need protection because their career progression and salaries are affected by raising children. They are almost always the ones who take the parental leave on shit pay, take the majority of the time off with sick kids, leave the workforce or go part time and end up with majority custody if the relationship breaks down.

Most women in a weaker financial position who need protection are in it through society's expectations about childcare, not through their own irresponsible behaviour like OP's partner. If a woman without kids (or whose partner did all of the above) was the higher earner but had wasted tons and got into massive debt, no one would be saying "protect yourself".

The only thing you should be embarrassed about is your inability to understand basic nuance and how simply swapping genders in an anecdote is rarely sensible.

Your resons for getting married are not passing my cost/benefit analysis. Buy a white dress. Change your name by deed poll for £39.95. You can have a "commitment ceremony". For what it's worth we have a similar situation and I'm much happier relying on insurance protections in case of death/ill heath etc. There is no way I'm taking the financial hit as well as the motherhood penalty, whilst my partner lives his life like a big kid.

www.ukdeedpolloffice.org/easy-name-change-kit/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&source_campaign=&keyword&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAyc67BhDSARIsAM95QzvSWkwkmvsbK5nwDbGC2GIUw1RDTLDU9b6r1q01bVjso6id-55bkvsaAg5QEALw_wcB