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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

683 replies

BearDownThere · 29/12/2024 21:40

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

OP posts:
FeliznaviDogs · 29/12/2024 23:26

I don’t mind what my partner looks like. For myself it’s much warmer with my fluffy perennial. Having said that I had a wax last year for the first time in my life at the ripe age of 45 and I left a strip at the front. Even had my bum hole waxed (mortified never realised it was so furry). It felt really nice to me, so smooth.

It was painful though so I’ve not had it done again! I think if I was having to wear a bikini in a hot climate I’d be tempted to get it waxed again, otherwise it’s half way down to my knees (must be an age thing?).

Not totally bare - I do think that’s a bit weird.

DissidentDaughter · 29/12/2024 23:26

It would seem that some of us are just plain lazy, and cannot be arsed 😂

Eatingicecream · 29/12/2024 23:27

Changed my user name but I can’t bear not being waxed. Weirdly my husband doesn’t even like it much, but I do.

I go every four / five weeks for a Hollywood was that takes 25 minutes. It cost £48 but I hate having hair there. I’d never use cream and shaving leads to stubble.

8misskitty8 · 29/12/2024 23:29

Never been expected of me and I’ve never wanted to do it myself either.

Why are you doing this for someone else ? Your body, your choice.

ReginaPhalange01 · 29/12/2024 23:30

Eatingicecream · 29/12/2024 23:27

Changed my user name but I can’t bear not being waxed. Weirdly my husband doesn’t even like it much, but I do.

I go every four / five weeks for a Hollywood was that takes 25 minutes. It cost £48 but I hate having hair there. I’d never use cream and shaving leads to stubble.

Can I ask how long does it take for you see regrowth?
That’s the one thing I don’t like about waxing that you have to wait for the hair to grow and they advise no shaving in between

MajorCarolDanvers · 29/12/2024 23:30

Never felt any pressure and never shaved, ever.

if my DH expected this I’d expect him to shave his pubes first.

Don’t do it if you don’t want too. Its much healthier to remain natural anyway.

Ottersmith · 29/12/2024 23:31

No

rainbowlou · 29/12/2024 23:31

I wax it all off for me, my husband couldn’t care less either way

justasking111 · 29/12/2024 23:32

nonbinaryfinery · 29/12/2024 21:51

Pubic hair exists for a reason. Removing it means you're more prone to infections and other nasties.

I don't date anymore, but when I was, I trimmed a bit, but wouldn't ever shave it off. It's supposed to be there.

That's why I'm against it the most. I really don't enjoy infections there.

Eatingicecream · 29/12/2024 23:35

ReginaPhalange01 · 29/12/2024 23:30

Can I ask how long does it take for you see regrowth?
That’s the one thing I don’t like about waxing that you have to wait for the hair to grow and they advise no shaving in between

Show quote history

I had it done on 13 December and there is a some very light hair growth. You wouldn’t see this though! I’m fair and not too hairy though. I was told, the more you have it done, the less regrowth you get. Im not sure if this is true or not though really

Ohnobackagain · 29/12/2024 23:35

It was definitely a fashion thing in the 90s when brazilian and hollywood waxing became
a thing - not just recent.

Fayruh · 29/12/2024 23:37

I can't wax anywhere in my body because I get ingrown hairs, and I shave everywhere including the anal area. It's just my preference as I like to be eaten out during sex and I just like the slippery wet feeling of being shaved 😅 sorry if its tmi! I love hair on man though!

Ladyof2025 · 29/12/2024 23:39

Ignore pressure from others and do whatever YOU want.

Startrekkeruniverse · 29/12/2024 23:40

gamerchick · 29/12/2024 21:49

I've never felt the expectation of it. It would be tough shit if they did.

It's your muff, platt it if you want. Most men are just happy to get access to it.

🤣 well said

Didimum · 29/12/2024 23:41

Never felt an expectation. Never been with a man who expressed either way.

DaringlyPurple · 29/12/2024 23:42

It seems so strange because it literally wasn't a thing when I was a teenager in the very unwoke seventies. Women just shaved if they were wearing a swimsuit and it was only enough to not have bits poking out or gave it a bit of a trim. We mightn't have got near the glass ceiling but at least we weren't pulling out our pubic hair with hot wax. Frankly if somebody had told us that in a few decades it would be expected we'd probably wonder how all these women could be persuaded to do something so painful on a regular basis when literally nobody we'd ever seen in a changing room or whatever had missing pubic hair. Isn't it incredibly itchy and rashy with shaving? Isnt the idea of exfoliating to prevent ingrown hairs wince inducing? Ir is probably a "tax" on women's time and money and I can't help feeling we've been a bit exploited and gullible to be persuaded into it.

FeliznaviDogs · 29/12/2024 23:47

How do you all manage to shave there? I’ve tried to trim with a razor a few times and it’s just too hairy. I cut myself when doing my legs (which is about once a month as my legs have never been very hairy, despite the badger living in my pants). I’m the least ‘girly’ person ever and I’ve just never got the hang of it. I do use cream to tidy up but I always have a bit of a reaction so the inside of my thighs is the closest I can get to the growler.

please - someone give me some tips!

DarkAndTwisties · 29/12/2024 23:47

I've slept with a fair few men and it's only ever come up once. I told him if he couldn't deal with a bit of hair he had no business being near my vagina - he decided he could deal with it.

DH really doesn't mind either way but generally I keep it trimmed, with a bit shaved round the sides.

ShortyShorts · 29/12/2024 23:48

Nerdlings · 29/12/2024 22:56

I’m not sure why anyone would want you to look like a pre pubescent child.

I’d seriously reevaluate your relationship

I'm not sure why anyone would think a grown woman could ever look like a pre pubescent child, just because she's removed some of her hair?

The obsession with children on these threads is always startling.

If the Dentist removed all of a grown woman's teeth, would you say she looked like a newborn baby?

ShortyShorts · 29/12/2024 23:49

Do bald men suddenly look like newborn babies when they lose the hear on their heads?

StrawberryWater · 29/12/2024 23:50

Never felt any pressure to shave. Never even had a man ask.

For my own comfort I keep it trimmed and that's about as far as I'm willing to go.

WalterdelaMare · 29/12/2024 23:51

I’ve had my pubes waxed off in their entirety for at least 20 years. My husband has had no say in this.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 29/12/2024 23:52

No pressure in my life - I’m 42 and no man has ever asked or expected me to remove my pubic hair! I’m 9 months pregnant, having done 5 rounds of IVF and had a lot of vaginal scans (weekly for a lot of my pregnancy due to medical
issues) and noone has ever commented or made me feel weird about being as nature intended.

WidgetDigit2022 · 29/12/2024 23:53

I’m a naturally very hairy woman! When I leave it, which is most of the time to be honest, it grows a good inch or two long and also grows an inch down each leg. It’s thick and dark. It doesn’t bother me day to day but it does make me feel self conscious for sex with my husband. He doesn’t care or say anything, but I don’t find it sexy. We don’t do oral but if we did, I’d definitely trim it for his sake.

I feel most sexy and confident when it’s trimmed. It also generally feels better to me, cooler and more sensitive.

If I had lots of spare time and cash, I’d have regular waxing. I think I’m also a bit embarrassed to get a wax in case they see my post baby piles!

I wouldn’t shave as the stubble is spiky, itchy and uncomfortable to me, I trim with scissors, very carefully!

theresabluebirdinmyheart · 29/12/2024 23:54

Ladyof2025 · 29/12/2024 23:39

Ignore pressure from others and do whatever YOU want.

That is easy to say when you’re in your 30s/40s/50s.
I am amazed so many women in this thread saying they never felt any pressure from men to wax or shave. I’m 38, when I was late teens and early twenties guys constantly made jokes about wizards sleeves/kebabs/fishy fannys/hairy fannies/smelly and dirty minges. Literally every part of a woman’s body has something wrong with it according to these guys.

I know now they were all sad creeps but if that’s what you are surrounded by at a young age you don’t know any better… I’m sure I can’t have been the only young girl who knew guys like this??