Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

[BearDownThere]

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

Yet always in discussion like this the reasons for removing hair is cleaner and/or more hygienic.

read this thread and the reasons people give for removing hair. Cleanliness is nearly always the reason.

in reality it’s more hygienic to not remove hair.

i always find it interesting as well that head hair is somehow exempt from the “feels nice/cleaner” argument. If shaving is a choice because you like how it feels, why not remove head hair as well? If you exercise a lot surely removing head hair would stop the collection of sweat and dirt and you’d be cleaner?

It depends on where you live. Try living in a hot country with a full bush. Sweat, hair and moisture aren’t a great combo.

I definitely notice a difference between shaved armpits and not shaved, in terms of sweatiness and smell.

It doesn’t mean people are less clean as sweat is just sweat, but the difference is noticeable (on my own person at least).

I definitely used to feel a big expectation to shave down there, absolutely. I don't remove all hair though, just trim it up. That's my preference. If I ever had a partner who said he didn't like any hair at all or tried to make me feel like i should get rid of it all, then I'd be sure to get rid of him.

@Hoplolly no, but she's very clearly implied it by saying that she removes it for 'cleanliness'.

There is nothing 'clean' about removing hair. Razors in particular spread infection.

Do you shave your head then? If sweat, hair and moisture isn’t a great combo then why wouldn’t it not apply to letting head hair grow?

as far as I have observed it’s not unusual for people in hot countries to still have long hair…

Porn has been in existence at least since the Karma Sutra! 3D cinema was originally invented for pornography. If you ever visit the sex museum in Amsterdam you'll see an array of photos of Victorian men, one foot on a step, pipe in one hand and proud member in the other.

In the 60s London men could pop on a dirty mac and nip to Soho for Jazzmags aplenty. The hardcore ones were shipped in from Europe. Usually a back room with a screen and reels of porn, or there were the mucky cinemas where they'd sit and have a w*nk in a group setting. Hardcore pornography could be viewed in special cinemas under a "membership" basis.

Since men have existed, and discovered their penises, there's been porn. And tame it wasn't.
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I don’t and it doesn’t smell anywhere near the sweaty smell of covered skin trapped with sweat, funnily enough. Thank you for your useless question when I expressed it was a personal preference and observation.

But heads aren't covered up so they cool down all by themselves.

People shave armpits and legs too because they prefer the look. What is wrong with people preferring how things look and feel? Why must they be chastised into being told they are handmaidens to men and porn?

Obviously shaving a head would be silly as people like their hair, just not their body hair. I could never be a bloke with one of those hideous bushy beards but that's just my preference and thankfully dh doesn't like them either. Ugh some men don't seem to realise they sometimes have debris in them 🤮.

I really don't know why so many people want to argue against other women's preferences and choices. Whatever happened to "my body, my choice"?

I would say that I think most men would find a bush very sexy

You honestly can't say that you think it is cleaner to remove pubic hair without also saying that those who don't are dirtier!

I don't think it is cleaner, I said I feel cleaner. Not the same thing.

It depends on where you live. Try living in a hot country with a full bush. Sweat, hair and moisture aren’t a great combo.

I grew up in a hot country. I've lived in another hot country. Again, personally felt cleaner and less sweaty with the pubes in situ. That wicking function.

Obviously though it's just my low standards according to some posters 😂

No, I said it was my personal preference and gave my (just my) reason for that.
I was also referring to pubic hair not public. Pedantic, I know, but if you’re going to get all high and mighty on me please do so with accuracy. And yes, given my profession of the last 35 years, I’m well aware of the function of the skin.

Interestingly, I have a zero incidence history of any of the infections and inflammations you refer to. Last I checked I was still allowed to make my own decisions, which also include waxing my eyebrows, upper lip and armpits!
Now go have your meltdown elsewhere and leave me to enjoy my hairless bliss in peace.

”I was also referring to pubic hair not public. Pedantic, I know, but if you’re going to get all high and mighty on me please do so with accuracy”.

Don’t do that. You know exactly what she meant but it clearly was auto corrected or similar. Doesn’t make you pedantic at all, rather, it makes you come across as rude and smug looking.

I shave because I want to. I like it that way, I think it looks better and for me it feels better. I don’t like having a full bush with hair poking out of the sides of my underwear. I’ve been through stages of different approaches but just find shaving it all easier than trying to leave a neat strip. DH I don’t think has a preference and he keeps his very trimmed, I don’t mind what he does…his body and he says the same to me. As long as it doesn’t tickle my nose whilst I’m down there I don’t care 😂

You don’t say what your profession is but clearly it’s not epidemiology or any sort of medical best practice.

or you’d know your own personal anecdote of zero infections does not negate data that shows increased incidence of infections and inflammation.

it’s the old “my aunt smoked til she was 90, never got cancer” argument. Doesn’t mean all the data showing smoking causes cancer is untrue.

This is actually fucking hysterical!
Silly Edna 🤣

'Not when Last I checked I was still allowed to make my own decisions, which also include waxing my eyebrows, upper lip and armpits!'

Oh no not waxing your eyebrows. You're on the slippery slope to being a pornstar .

@EdnaTheWitch "'Not when Last I checked I was still allowed to make my own decisions, which also include waxing my eyebrows, upper lip and armpits"

Of course you are perfectly free to make your own decisions. That does not prevent it being interesting to discuss why, in a single generation, we have gone from a small minority of women removing their pubic hair to the vast majority doing so. And why having pubic hair is perceived by many people as dirty, unkempt and even shameful.

Its a bit like why in a single generation we've gone from overplucked eyebrows to thick HD brows being 'in', or how we've gone from hairy men to men having full body waxes in some cases, or how we've gone from terrible dental work to veneers, braces and whitened teeth.

Shall I go on?

Trends come and go. Some stay as most folk aren't keen on excess body hair, it gets between their teeth when being intimate.

I'd of thought most people are sensible enough to know that having pubic hair is not in any way dirty or shameful providing the person keeps up personal hygiene. If a person feels it cleaner if removed, that isn't wrong either, their feelings are just as valid.

Removing pubic hair can be traced back to Ancient civilisations like the Romans & Egyptians. So it isn't a modern thing by any stretch.

@ARealitycheck But people don't say "I feel cleaner"-they talk about sweat and other bodily fluids and say "it is cleaner"

And we're talking about modern times in the UK, not Ancient Rome.

And what about the women on here who talk about feeling ashamed to go into the delivery room unshaved and worry that the HCPs will judge them?

It's ironic that women campaigned against compulsory shaving in labour and won-only for their daughters to be distressed at the idea of going into labour without having shaved themselves!

I can't speak for every post, but the ones I read described the sensation. If somebody is saying it is unhygenic then perhaps they need to adjust their hygiene routine. As a man I prefer the back door shaved simply because it stops anything getting caught. In the absence of bidets in British culture, I consider it a prudent measure.

Pointing out that removing body hair has been going on since time is more than relevant. It has also been common in different cultures and Countries far more recent than the Romans.

Hair removal for medical procedures happened to both men and women. It is a change in knowledge and modern wound protection that changed it. You may have campaigned for it to no longer be done. That does not give you the right to tell your daughter, or anyone else what they should do with their body.

@ARealitycheck "That does not give you the right to tell your daughter, or anyone else what they should do with their body."

And as a man you have no right to be involved in a conversation about women do with their body hair. I have not told anyone what to do with their body hair-I have just said that context is important. It's good to know why we make the decisions we do. But as I said, women's decisions about their bodies are not a matter for men to be involved it.