Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

[BearDownThere]

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

No - I haven’t found a compromise. I don’t remove the hair from my vulva because I don’t want to.

As I said In the 70s people in the porn industry weren't trimmed or shaven and porn was just as popular.

Porn was virtually non existent in the 70s. Nothing except the very tame top shelf girlie mags was widely available. Anything approaching the kind of porn that’s accessed via the internet now involved a visit to the kind of specialist shop that no man wanted to be seen entering and only existed in big cities.

If you want a bush, have a bush, if you just want to trim, just trim. I've never had a man refuse me no matter what it looked like 😂

Porn is more accessible <obviously> but top shelf mags, adult shops and very explicit dvds videos have been widely for years.

The point is unshaven looks were popular in the 70s, now trimmed looks are popular. It is fine, trends change.

505 replies and 0 from the OP. I’d suspect more of a hairy hand than a hairy Mary.

<awaiting deletion>

Dvds didn’t exist in the 70s, nor did video for that matter. Adult shops didn’t exist. It’s easy to see you weren’t there!

Post your links to the research that backs you up then please.

years in microbiology research tell me the opposite, so if you can back your point up I’ll be very interested.

Porn has always existed. Ok, videos and dvds in the early 80s. But graphic magazines and shops with adult content well before then.

Why are we discussing when dvds first came out? The point is porn from decades ago featured unshaven men and women, porn now features shaven women and men. I don't see what the problem is, trends change?

Obviously women and men should choose for themselves but there isn't any evidence that they don't.

Why are we discussing when dvds first came out?

Because you’re talking bollocks about the availability of porn in a time before you were born, I guess. And insisting that it now plays no part in a trend when it patently obviously does.

We had a cinema close by that had fallen into decline by the 70's. So they showed porn - or 'continental films' according to my dad when I asked why we couldn't go in🤣🤣 So there was most definitely a thriving porn industry back then. No idea whether women shaved their pubic hair though. I'm guessing not if they were 'continental'😆

That's a rather unpleasant way of debating.

My point is, porn in one form or another, has always been available. How men and women have maintained their pubic regions has changed and no doubt the trend will go full circle. Untrimmed in the 70s/80s, trimmed/shaven now. So what?

Personal preferences are allowed.

@BIossomtoes @lleeggoo I said it wasn't rare, so definitely happened. But much more a standard part of sex now.
I didn't say it didn't happen at all. Learn to read..

because the trend for clean shaven came from porn. As it became more mainstream and less “vanilla” hair was removed to give a better view in the close ups.

and yes, some of it was to do with little girl fantasies.

With the rise of anal and dp as well bleaching skin etc all became “normal”’as that’s what people saw on camera.

it also became common for men to remove hair from the shaft to give the appearance of length.

it got to a point where young men and boys had never seen pubic hair on an adult female. So young females removed hair as they were getting negative reactions in their early sexual encounters.

i’ve even come across a young female dr who thought pubic hair was a sign of depression - lacking “self care” - it was that normalised.

thankfully we do seem to be coming out the other side somewhat.

Pretty sure they started filming erotica as soon as film was invented

I’ve never felt under pressure. I wax the lot, for my own preference and it’s a cleanliness thing rather than a sexual thing. There is no way anyone could look at me and mistake me for a child, or a porn star!

Removing pubic hair is nothing new - the ancient Romans and Egyptians did it and so do Muslims. It didn't suddenly appear as an option when online porn became popular.

MN can very small-minded, as this thread proves. Her body, her choice unless the MN mafia don't like it.

"Removing pubic hair is nothing new - the ancient Romans and Egyptians did it and so do Muslims. It didn't suddenly appear as an option when online porn became popular"

It did in the UK. When I was a young woman removing pubic hair was very unusual. It only became almost universal in the late 1970s/1980s. All the heroines in Jilly Cooper had bushes! What I object to is the pressure for women to remove their hair and the suggestion that women's bodies are dirty and smelly in their natural state. And there are periodic posts on here from women who can't reach their pubic area in pregnancy worrying that the team in the delivery room will be judging them for having hair. And the replies are more likely "Get your husband to do it" than "They really won't care" Surely nobody thinks that's right?

I've never completely shaved down there, only 'tidied up' using nail scissors and a razor and that's more for my benefit. DH is hairy so he can't complain!

When I gave birth for the first time the midwife shaved you and administered an enema - that’s great fun when you’re in labour. The shaving was the thing we all complained about most.

I’m confused?!

Never had any issues. If somebody mentioned it, that person may wasn't to rethink partners.

Thanks everyone for your replies, been really interesting although I guess not surprising to see that 1. There could be an element of generational expectations/trends and 2. Varying personal preferences on pubes. When younger I have definitely had comments from previous partners on having hair. Now I don’t think I’d stand for it. I suppose it’s tricky where 1 partner has a preference for their partner to be hairless (as some PPs have said) but the partner is very uncomfortable with it. For me, I just don’t like the completely shaved look, maintaining it is a pain and the itchiness is too much. So it’s a no from me, but totally feel that everyone should do what’s right for them and makes them comfortable. I liked what a PP said about doing nice things for a partner. Yes. I might wear a dress/outfit that I liked if it pleased them, but no to doing something longer-term or that I’m
uncomfortable with. I wouldn’t expect them to do that for me either.

This really annoys me. Implying it's cleaner to be bare than have pubic hair. If you wash regularly you are clean, whether you have pubic hair or are bare.
You're effectively saying those who don't remove aren't clean and that you're superior.
It should be each person's personal choice and no one should be criticising or pressuring anyone else for their choice.

Are you implying that public hair is 'dirty'?

You do realise that removing it makes you more susceptible to infections, including UTIs, yeast infections, and vaginitis? Its function is to protect you.

She never said it was dirty 🙄

I personally also feel cleaner with less. I don't take it all off but neither do I want a giant bush.

I don't think that means people who choose to leave it au natural are less clean. It's a personal choice and how I feel about myself. You do you!