Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

[BearDownThere]

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

Are you lacking comprehensive skills?
I don't smell worse then other people, quite opposite actually. Thank you for your "concern ".
I never said other people need to remove their pubes. I really don't care what you do with your private parts.

I don't believe wiping menstrual blood with toilet paper makes this area "clean". It doesn't.
I dont mind if other people dont mind it's not clean and don't expect them to wet wipe or shave. I dont always walk away with wet wipes so definitely survived without and I don't always .

Me saying something is " not clean" is not a judgment of anyone. I don't expect people to have the same standards. I understand mine are exesive and it's OK to be less clean. Stop getting defensive and unpleasant.

Yes I actually do. I accept my standards are higher then most people.

I don't mind what other people do as long as they for example don't smell next to me however it's a fact that quick wipe doesn't make someone "clean" down there and I personally prefer to feel clean for my own sake. Obviously it doesn't bother other people and it's personal preference.

As has been said many people don't like great big bushy areas when they are having oral sex. It's an aesthetic thing. Bit like you wouldn't like a pube in your sandwich would you?

I wouldn't want a penis in my sandwich but still give a blow job.

Csection - you remove the hair in order that the dressing they place is easier to remove post op. It has nothing to do with cleanliness.

Interestingly the current fashion for mullets started with rugby players who tape down their ears so the zinc oxide tape adheres better to the bare skin around their ears. It has become a fashion statement. DS, who plays rugby also has a strip of hair permanently missing from his thighs during the rugby season where he tapes on lifting block.

I may just be lucky but I don’t have hair extending as far back as my anus so don’t have problems maintaining hygiene. As for liquids, unless you have a full shower after every pee you are still smearing urine all over the place. And for those who have never experienced hair down there it does provide a bit of a drip trap when you have the odd leak. I suppose it acts like those sports clothing materials that wick moisture away from the skin and stopping the moisture from building up on your skin. Urine and blood are only two of the fluids that accumulate, there is also sweat and normal secretions that make everything damp and prone to damage.

There is a brilliant scene (in edited because spoiler) for a bikini wax and goes for the Hollywood because she’s mid 50s and wants ‘ to get ahead of the game’ Only time I’ve ever felt the pressure and that’s on me 😁

Yep, shave the lot off, always did. Ditto legs, arms, pits, everything bar eyebrows and the hair on my head. Because I hate bodily hair, it looks and feels shit (to me, for me). If my partner asked for some hair down there - I'd consider it, full bush - no. But he's not fussed either way.

I don't get the 'prepubescent look' argument. I'm almost 37 and very clearly an adult woman, with curves in all the right places. No hair down there certainly doesn't make me look as if I'm suddenly 10.

Also hate the pubic, underarm and especially chest hair on men. It grosses me out. Asked some men to shave it off (some do it themselves without me mentioning it), none refused. But I don't demand it and if they'd refused, that's fine, their choice. I just wouldn't date hairy men (especially the chest). Personal preference. I wouldn't go down on a bushy woman or man myself, so I understand others who don't want to.

I don't get the 'prepubescent look' argument. I'm almost 37 and very clearly an adult woman, with curves in all the right places. No hair down there certainly doesn't make me look as if I'm suddenly 10.

There is no 'argument'.

Just women being awful and putting other women down because they make different personal choices.

No doubt they'd be the first to complain if men were being awful to women because of their personal choices.

For me though, and what I got from the OP, its the issue of men who wont have any sort of sexual relationship with a woman with pubic hair and put pressure on women to shave which many women feel that they must do even though they dont want to.

A woman who removes it because she prefers it, a lot of my friends do this, then thats their choice as its their body. I have no problem with that, why the hell would I care?! Its the ones that do it because men and porn tell them they should that I find worrying.

Perhaps we should start telling men that we wont sleep with them unless they shave their pubes too and see how that goes. Cos its funny how pubes are only gross when its a womans and not their own......

@thinwomansbrain i was also sexually abused at the same age by a fanily member.

I still dont think someone having a preference of a woman, with a womans body, means they must be a paedophile.

And people bringing children into a topic thats completely unrelated is actually them sexualising children and disgusting.

Its funny isnt it, that this thread was made to ask how women prefer to have their own body, and if they feel pressured by men, which most have said they dont...

But then any woman who prefers to shave on this post have been ridiculed by other WOMEN and told they resemble a child and must be dating paedophiles.

I dont think men are the problem here.

if it smells, you're not clean. and that doesn't require washing twice daily.
in fact, over washing can make things smell worse, as it upsets the PH balance.

don't buy into the idea that your body is intrinsically dirty and wrong.

Nailed it!

Couldn’t agree more.
I said it upthread and I’ll say it again.
Never in my life have I felt pressured to shave my pubes from porn, or from a man.

But the amount of WOMEN on this thread absolutely bashing us bare ladies, calling us sex dolls, over plucked chickens, silly silly women, and telling us our partners are paedophiles… wow. It’s been very eye opening! It’s definitely not men that are the problem.

I don't ridicule women who remove their pubic hair. I do think it's important to consider whether the pressure that exists to do it is fuelled by the industry. Which it obviously is- the correlation is unmistakable. And there is always in threads like this the suggestion that women who do not shave are smelly, don't care about their themselves and are generally grubby.
Of course it should be a free choice. But I do think people should think about the background their choices.

Great for you, but generally speaking it does serve a purpose.

I don't really understand the idea that it's easier to keep clean. Do people generally have hair on their vulva and anus?

What sort of infections are people getting without pubic hair?

I'm 47 and I've never had an infection of any sort down there.

Trends come and go. As I said In the 70s people in the porn industry weren't trimmed or shaven and porn was just as popular.

If people feel cleaner, more hygienic then that is up to them. Not up to anyone else to police or judge women's choices.

Why do people shave their armpits, because they prefer it as it looks nicer and that is a good enough reason.

People do generally have hair around those areas, yes .

Totally agree. I can't believe some of what I'm reading in here. Many women choose of their own free will to,trim, shave or whatever. Why in earth this means they are being controlled or coerced or being with a pedophile I have no idea. Trends come and go, whether that be padded shoulders in jackets, fillers in lips or being bare below. Frankly being bare below has been a thing for a fairly long time, certainly 1990s and early 2000 and is definately extremely popular. The little market town I live in has a booming industry in beauticians, all of which offer waxing including full waxing and my beautician says it is a massive part of her workload. We have also just had a dedicated salon that is ONLY waxing! I really don't think these women are all being driven by porn or their partners!!

For heavens sake MN...I can see why it is termed the MN mafia

You can keep telling me it have a purpose and I will keep telling you in modern hygiene context it doesn't and until you give me some breakthrough information that I haven't came across we will have to disagree.

Cool. Agree to disagree.

Because you don't have an answer?

I wasn’t commenting on people’s preference for keeping or not keeping pubic hair - it’s absolutely an individual choice. I was merely pointing out that pubic does serve an evolutionary purpose - there are trillion articles on the internet if you want to look, a link for one of those articles I posted previously.

Stop getting your knickers in a twist.

Oh, ugh, is this the norm now? So sorry, younger women! Had a full Brazilian once (after a partner asked and paid for it) and that was enough - my god, the itching. As for whether one should indulge a partner's preference for how one's body should look, I would say sure if it's something easy, like dressing up in something a partner likes - that's a nice thing to do for someone - but not if you're going to have to live with it for a while, and especially not if you're at all uncomfortable with it. In my experience, trying to do things to please your partner when you're secretly uncomfortable with them never works out well.

More or less equivalent questions might be: Would you get a haircut, or buy an expensive pair of glasses, that you don't really like, but your partner does? (i.e. something that you'll have to live with for a while) Would you wear revealing clothing in public for your partner if you felt uncomfortable in it and were getting creepy unwanted attention? Going a step further, would you get a boob job if your partner really wanted you to? (That's more extreme, but I think it's along the same lines.) And of course the real question is, would your partner do the same for you?