Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

[BearDownThere]

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

Yup, hate it so I don’t do it

I don't think I've ever felt an expectation to do it. I've been with DH since my early 20s and he's never suggested doing anything different - if he had, I would probably just have told him that I didn't expect him to shave his and I didn't expect him to interfere in what I did with mine. But he seems to like me as I am, hair and all.

I’ve never felt the pressure, and I’m in my 20’s so was a teen when porn was massive. No man I know has ever really been bothered, and I know lots of women my age and younger are going full bush.

Pre current DH I remember being with a man of a religion where in their faith they have to remove pubic hair.

I don't and didn't then. I have a memory of him just stroking me really gently almost playing with my pubic hair. I did not feel ashamed he seemed to love it. My now DH really doesn't comment on it, I kind of love my bush!

Voted 'my hair my choice' but in 3+ decades of sexual activity no one has ever so much as hinted I need to shave tbh. Wouldn't if they did though.

I personally hate any hair down there on myself, I feel fresh when it's all gone and smooth. Don't care how any man has his though. I don't think anyone should put pressure on anyone to have their public hair a certain way , should be a personal choice

I've had quite a few boyfriends and never had any want me bare down there. I thought DH did at one point but he's happy with "tidy". I don't wax any of it any more. I did bikini line for my ex and for myself when first married. All the others liked it as nature intended.

I don't think I could date a guy who wants it bare. I've had hair there since I was about eight or nine. That suggests they basically want someone who resembles an INFANT down there ... 🤢.

I was going to add... If you want to be hair-free yourself, no problem. But no one should dictate what you do to your pubes!

He 'hates' this? And you have no problem with his dictating to you?

It's one thing to have a preference but any man who stipulates a woman's appearance isn't worth having and any woman who accepts that behaviour isn't very particular.

I'm thinking of the 'hairless mouse' comment way up the thread specifically, Hankunamantata where the poster was all but preening that her husband thought her vulva would look like a hairless mouse' if it were hairless. That is a disgusting comment for him to make and for her to repeat it here makes me think that anything he says is fine. Ugh.

It is long overdue that women are left alone to have their appearance exactly as they want it - without interference from men, and definitely without spiteful or needling comment from other women. I would never comment disparagingly about any woman's appearance. As far as pubic hair goes - that is nobody else's business and I applaud women to be comfortable with their own choices as I am.

I didn't mean to write a long post and it's not aimed at you specifically, Hakunamatata, I just feel really strongly about this subject and every time it pops up I think that it's possibly in bad faith.

and @ShortyShorts

I was raped regularly from the age of about 8 - so tend to have an adverse reaction to paedophilia.

But let it go if you're fine with it.

Not at all! I’ve been shaving down there since I was 20 and absolutely hate pubic hair. It’s just so…messy during that time of the month 🤢.

And yes, I’m not putting my face anywhere near my DH’s bits unless he’s trimmed it right down either.

He doesn't dictate. We had an adult conversation about what we prefer about body hair on each other. He likes some hair and prefers not completely removed. I prefer it when he keeps his pits and genitals trimmed. Same way as I don't like a beard.
We have 3 kids together. He has seen full bush, no bush, neatly trimmed. He isn't going to walk out the door or comment if I have a full wax.

I’m with pictoosh all the way. My bush is going nowhere 👏🏻👏🏻 Thankfully my husband appreciates the natural look so never had any issues! I’m an adult woman, not a child, and pubic hair is there for a reason. It helps
maintain hygiene and prevent infections..

I'm really sorry to read that, ThinWomansBrain, I feel very angry when I see presumably female posters blithely regurgitating the ugly viewpoints of the very questionable men in their lives.

I completely agree with you that those excuses for men have something going on in the paedophile area, as much as these women posture otherwise.

I wish you well.

I have a full bush - but the only time I've removed it in the past when young was because of pressure from men.

There's a lot of pressure from men for women to be shaven - not sure why, but there is. I've seen it firsthand, and seen my female friends be subject to it. I think it stems from men using porn, where everyone is shaved so you can "see more"

I disagree with you, I don't think most women care whether other women shave their pubic hair or not - why would they? But men seem to

Just a trim down the sides for me (not sure my husband is fussed either way) I personally don't like pubes poking out of the side of my knickers or my swimsuit hence the side trim

Wait until you discover grey pubes!!! (Which ok if you shave you won’t see!!) but it seemed an over night thing… so did get a drastic trim 🤣

Sorry, my bad for not being clear then.

As we keep saying it is very odd that people keep bringing children into this discussion.

Adult trimmed/shaven genital areas bear no resemblance to children and people should stop making this connection.

Ok but this is what you said:

Hankunamatata · Today 15:55
Only thing dh hates is it all took off. He says it just looks wrong.

Which is very different to your update.

Think they will.
But you have the right compromise.

No, never consider doing this, nor has my partner. I tidy the edges for wearing a bikini, but that's it.

Never felt any pressure at all, married 25 years. Only have a standard bikini wax if I’m going on a beach holiday for a fortnight, otherwise I’m au naturel all the time. Full on 70s beaver 😂

Not had any pressure from my husband

I'm very calm, what are you on about?? Did I say you were having a go at me?

It doesn't serve any purpose for me at all. For someone who cleans, wipes and showers daily hair just gets in a way and makes it harder to stay clean. It serves purpose for you then great. Not for me personally.