Anyone else hate the expectation to shave down there?

[BearDownThere]

Is anyone else fed up of the expectation/strong preference for going completely shave pubic hair? I’m female and have only had male partners, but prepared to believe women have this expectation too if others have experienced it. I mean each to their own, but personally I find it feels child-like. Has anyone managed to find a compromise with their partner on this?

YABU- It’s nice to do things for your partner

YANBU-my hair my choice

I started shaving mine almost as soon as it came in. I had only the vaguest concept of sex and zero pressure or expectation from anyone. I didn’t even know that shaving it was “a thing.”

I just immediately recognized that it was a) impractical and b) unhygienic (to my standards) and decided that it would have to go. I didn’t like discharge and menstruation getting matted up in it and hated it getting ripped out with sanitary products. I’ve never found it a big deal to swipe the razor across every other day, but I also don’t have much and it’s only in one spot.

I write fanfic, and one AFAB Nonbinary character I was writing (Beelzebub from Good Omens, so technically genderless, but played by a woman, and is referred to as They/Them)
someone actually commented to me, thank you for letting them have pubes.
because they were fed up of reading fics where they were hairless, when the character obviously gives zero shits about that kind of thing.

I mostly agree,but I do pluck the underneath to make it easier to wipe. it's hair and it can get menses and pee on it. but up front it's a full bush. hair isn't intrinsically dirty.
I can understand a hygiene argument for lower pubes and anything in your bumcrack, but I've seen people saying they do their armpits and legs for hygiene reasons, and there's no way they're unhygienic by any stretch

I find a lot of these replies quite baffling.

My partner has no preference but i shave completely because I prefer it, i feel a lot cleaner. Even when single i still shave, because its my preference.

Have never felt any pressure around any of this. As to previous comments, ive never had any sort of infection or health issue due to shaving, and i barely notice the regrowth stage.

We're all free to do what we want with our own bodies to our preference. I personally wouldnt have a bush, but i also have no opinion on if another woman wants that. Because its her preference.

The amount of comments saying a woman shaving imitates a childs body is quite uncomfortable. A womans body is still a womans body and clearly not comparable to a child, and that way of thinking is quite disturbing.

It exists because not so long ago we didn't have underwear and daily showers. It serves no purpose these days.
Personally I find it unhygienic.

I find that with armpit hair. the last time I shaved them was YEARS back now.
it was a heatwave, and I made the mistake of shaving my pits
and I felt so wet and slimy, and got smelly really quickly, and felt overheated.
as it grew back, I was drier, a more comfortable temperature, and didn't get smelly. because the hair wicks sweat away from your skin to evaporate. YES,you have to keep your armpits clean, but the hair makes you feel much less stinky and sweaty

I have noticed an expectation to shave, to the point of disgust if you dont, from men. And I am talking about men my age and older (50 +) as well as younger ones.

Any man that mentions it gets two things. Firstly I say that anyone who gets close enough to find out should think themselves lucky and secondly, they dont get a date if they want one.

Untrue.

I used to care about that.
in more recent years I've just shrugged and got on with it. it's just hair. it's not like I've got a flap hanging out.

Some of these replies are vile.

It seems the world of mumsnet believes that you can absolutely have a massive bush and thats fine, but if a woman prefers to be shaven it must be down to porn or men and god forbid that they prefer and feel more clean with THEIR OWN bodies this way?

The reference to kids is disgusting and ur thoughts on this are actually disturbing.

Because no one alters their appearance in a vacuum, we do it because we’ve been sold the idea it’s attractive, which is a social construct.

There's several posters on here explaining they do it for themselves, because they feel more clean this way.

Not everyone does things because they feel they have to, and its sad you feel so strongly about the ideas YOUVE been sold, that you seem oblivious to the fact that women can have their own preferences to their own bodies.

I do it because I feel cleaner and more comfortable. Did it even when I was single.

You are totally correct. A persons reasons for shaving down there or not is entirely up to them.

If it is to look attractive for potential sexual partners, then that is entirely OK too. When meeting potential partners we will mostly present the best version of ourselves, hair done, make up, clothing.

I think part of the desire for trimmed or shaved pubes is partly down to how much more common oral sex is now. A very large proportion of us consider oral to be part of a sexual relationship. Twenty or thirty years ago, I think it would be more unusual for women to receive oral.

Why are you all so keen to talk about your minge with a first time poster who has probably been wanking themselves into a frenzy for the past 5 hours?

I shave as much as possible for myself but sometimes I've left it unshaved for a month my long term partner of 8 years doesn't care he loves me for me if he didn't like it which he doesn't care id be single he doesn't shave his manhood for me so ....

This.

It all comes off, but for me.

So does that mean in your mind you were trying to look like a little girl? - I see what you are trying to do here. No, I did not do it to look like a little girl but when a man says he only likes hairless look it does make you wonder.

I said yabu only because shaving down there is soooo uncomfortable. I will never do it again. Waxing or nothing. At the minute I get waxed regularly but Ive also had long periods where I don't. It's just what I fancy really. I don't do it (or not do it) for men

Waxing for me. All off, front and back. I hate pubic hair. I’m almost 51 and have had a full wax job every 4 weeks since I was in my early 20s. I do it for me, no one else. Nothing to do with wanting to look like a child - just as shaving legs or arm pits has nothing to do with wanting to look like a child.

My husband is also hair-free. It’s just our preference.

Twenty or thirty years ago, I think it would be more unusual for women to receive oral.

What a complete nonsense.

If any man wants a bare pussy from you, send them this photo or buy them a sphinx (hairless) cat toy like this one and say you can kiss this bare pussy as much as you like! 😂

I know!

20 years ago was 2004 ffs!

I swear some people think that the whole of the last century involved crinolines and top hats!

100% Agree.
And why do adult women who remove hair get compared to a child, despite their otherwise very adult female body. Meanwhile bald men do not get compared to babies!?

I’ll tell you why. Because the amount of hair on your body does not define whether you are an adult or a child. And anyone who thinks it does is frankly quite odd.