Our comfort chat turned into an ear slitting screaming session

[Bridget05]

Ok admittedly I'm possibly much older than you lot out there, so I might need to call a taxi but here goes.
It's just after Christmas and I live in a tiny village with one coffee shop. We attract loads of families walking on weekends which is fine. But of course the shop is heaving. Again it's OK.
My friend had an awful Christmas day with an adult autistic son, a missing pet cat = son meltdown and she just needed a shoulder. Could not go to either home as hers contains adult son, mine contains old husband watching Wheeler Dealers on full volume.
So we luckily find our usual table and get a coffee ....okaaayyy I had cake as well.
A group of grandparents, parents and a toddler arrive and sit next to us..still OK.

Now I fully understand toddlers are noisy, I get it. But to keep the already overexcited child entertained they then began an interminable game of peek a boo, who's got your nose, piggy toes etc, which then turns a chatty chirping child into a screaming harpy , creating such a noise that no one can speak. My poor friend was almost in tears from the stress.
Eventually I nicely said (yes I can do nice) that while everyone understands children's noise, could they please not add to it by encouraging her.
Seems walkers from the big city find it difficult to take polite requests. Enough said.
So AIBU to just expect a parent not to encouraging loud noise in an already packed out Cafe or us it open season on quiet breaks now.

I'm completely in agreement. I strongly suspect the naysayers are the parents of the children that behave like little buggers whilst they look fondly yet passively at their 'antics'.

I've had many a pleasant lunch scuppered by this bunch (and I'm talking about the parents, not the children).

Not exactly an answer to your question but since COVID I avoid people (and people with small children and people with dogs) when going out. Especially in busy coffee shops/pubs. At times it's proved too difficult to have a conversation because of the general noise/acoustic of the indoor places.

Most of my friends are similar so we often take our own drinks/snacks for a walk and find a beautiful outdoor space where we can enjoy it in peace and quiet and actually have a conversation.

I don't think they've forgotten I just don't think they care . Noise pollution is becoming more and more of an issue everywhere .

Who needs a garish moving image? It's as annoying as a noisy child in a restaurant.

This
OP, you seem completely out of sink with babies and toddlers. This isn't a criticism, more a statement of fact

I think you may have missed the point of MN.

Yes this is true but surely you at least have some say in your own house? is her husband really so awful that he cant turn the tv down for an hour or two....

I didn't say it was her fault but come on..look at it.

@GCAcademic
I think you missed my point - they are two differing descriptions for behaviour that objectively is the same. People who are less tolerant of interactions between parents and their young children are inclined to describe the same behaviour as "winding them up... shrieking", whereas those of us who are more tolerant of that would describe it as "a totally normal parent-toddler interaction". There aren't two different behaviours, so you missed my point there I'm afraid.

Well I think we can safely conclude that the OP has achieved their goal with their bitchplop and run approach

Performance parenting and grandparenting is absolutely rage inducing OP and I would have been far less polite. There is nothing remotely enjoyable about having it forced onto you, especially when you just want 5 minutes peace and quiet to talk to someone.

Yes I think you misunderstood that post.

Whether people disagree with the OP or not, the sheer nastiness of some of the replies here are astounding.
I wouldn’t blame her for not coming back.

It's out of sync, as in synchronisation.

This isn't a criticism, more a statement of fact.

@Plastictrees is correct - @GCAcademic did misunderstand my post!

The more I think about it, the more I reckon this sounds like a hungover newspaper intern trying to come up with an easy story for Betwixtmas. Nobody say anything they don't want the readers of the Daily Mail/Mirror website having their attention drawn to.

Imagine your friend taking her adult son to a cafe and he has a meltdown, so the people on the next table suggest she tries to keep him quiet so they can enjoy their coffee. Nobody leaves that interaction feeling good.

Gosh, sit outside with toddler? It’s hardly a Michelin restaurant. The family with the kid didn’t do anything wrong.

YANBU

I get kids make a noise and often it is unavoidable. I remember what it’s like having small children and I try to be sympathetic. However things like deliberately encouraging them to screech and scream or ignoring their ear splitting shrieks is shite parenting and not on. I’d just have bitched about them later and not said anything to them though.

To be fair that's totally different though as they would not be actively encouraging a meltdown unlike the toddlers care givers

Appreciate this was a bit annoying OP but I think I’d have just got on with it. Raising this is quite OTT (it’s not like the child was kicking your table or shouting rudely at you or something that in my mind would require an intervention) and I think you would have made the family feel really bad.

I'm sorry but why do people have to take it to the extreme. The OP has said she asked them to keep it down. She didn't say they should all be silent and the child shouldn't even make a noise. Everyone here trying to take what she's said and take it to the extreme to 'have a go'. Yes it is horrible when you go to a cafe and children are making noise above what you'd expect. You wouldn't imagine them to be silent but you also don't expect them to be screaming. Why does the needs of everyone else wanting to actually have a chat in a cafe outweigh often just one family.

I had it recently and it was a family with two kids and one kid kept screaming, like ear piercing, and the other one was being exceptionally loud. It's the point where you can't carry out a conversation and hear each other. Why is them being allowed to be noisy more important than every other person in there who just wants to chat at normal volume.
It seems in MN if you dare to want to chat in a cafe you're unreasonable and hate children.

Rude.

Save some of your assertiveness towards strangers for your husband, so you can have friends come to you home for a chat.

Agreed, some of them have been vicious. In a text-based forum, mocking someone's writing style because you disagree with their point is something like taking the piss out of someone's voice/gestures/outfit while having an IRL disagreement.