Our comfort chat turned into an ear slitting screaming session

[Bridget05]

Ok admittedly I'm possibly much older than you lot out there, so I might need to call a taxi but here goes.
It's just after Christmas and I live in a tiny village with one coffee shop. We attract loads of families walking on weekends which is fine. But of course the shop is heaving. Again it's OK.
My friend had an awful Christmas day with an adult autistic son, a missing pet cat = son meltdown and she just needed a shoulder. Could not go to either home as hers contains adult son, mine contains old husband watching Wheeler Dealers on full volume.
So we luckily find our usual table and get a coffee ....okaaayyy I had cake as well.
A group of grandparents, parents and a toddler arrive and sit next to us..still OK.

Now I fully understand toddlers are noisy, I get it. But to keep the already overexcited child entertained they then began an interminable game of peek a boo, who's got your nose, piggy toes etc, which then turns a chatty chirping child into a screaming harpy , creating such a noise that no one can speak. My poor friend was almost in tears from the stress.
Eventually I nicely said (yes I can do nice) that while everyone understands children's noise, could they please not add to it by encouraging her.
Seems walkers from the big city find it difficult to take polite requests. Enough said.
So AIBU to just expect a parent not to encouraging loud noise in an already packed out Cafe or us it open season on quiet breaks now.

YANBU OP I always tried to keep my DDs calm and quite when they were toddlers.

Hopefully OP doesn’t come to this noisy cafe to cozy up with a coffee (and cake of course!) to lose herself in the subplots of her own novel 🤣 dear reader…. She does!

You were too polite.
I’d have said SHUT UP very loudly.

Triggering

Yes I thought this. It's just unnecessary and very mean girl

No you wouldn't.

Can't your husband control his own noise so your friend come have come to you then you wouldn't need to try and control strangers in public places behaving how they are entitled to. Why do you keep saying "which is fine" etc when referring to people doing completely ordinary things? How do you know they came from a big city?

I stopped reading, it's so irritating! That gif is unnecessary.

OP, a café will often be noisy. You could have gone for a walk if it was too much.

One of those things most definitely is antisocial behaviour.

Agreed. Given the context I imagine OPs description of events isn’t entirely impartial either.

Should maybe focus on the fact you have a husband at home who would be so rude as to have trash TV on volume 100 whilst you have a friend in need of support who could do with visiting for a shoulder. That way you sort out problems that are actually your business e.g. your household. If a stranger in a cafe gave me unsolicited advice which is clearly from a snooty pearl clutching local you'd hear more shrieking and it wouldn't be from the toddler. You have no idea if that toddler even may have autism themselves of ADHD so be quiet and sort your husband out.

In my experience, coffee shops are always noisy, regardless of children.
I think it was perhaps not the best setting for the sensitive comfort chat. A coffee to go and a nice stroll to find a bench perhaps would have been better in my opinion.
With that said, some parents in public settings are arrogant and completely blind to the consideration of others. I typically avoid ‘child friendly’ environments where possible as it can stress me out (noise levels etc) so I do feel for your friend in that respect. Everything can be heightened in difficult times so it’s best to avoid places where naturally there will be lots of noise, people and children.

Amazing that people think that, even if the child was being made to scream by their parents, that’s not antisocial behaviour.

There's always one and today it's you

A child playing and being loud in a busy cafe is not antisocial behaviour for goodness sake.

You should have stood up and very loudly declared that this is a local shop for local people.

This. You seem to expect more from a total stranger with a very young child than from your OWN husband.

Why? could he not turn the tv down for literally one single hour? bloody hell.

Yeah it's really something

The way OP wrote the story is strange and I don’t get the point of creating a post on mumsnet sprinkled with insults to city people and pointing out you’re older than most of us here etc.

@Bridget05 You’ve already told her to keep it down and everyone has moved on, why the need for another debate on mumsnet? If people tell you you’re BU will you seek her out to apologize?

There's a huge difference between screaming upset and squealing in delight at being played with by parents/grandparents. I'm in no way a "gentle parent", I would not let my child throw a fit in public, but I think laughing and having fun is perfectly acceptable.

The place for a guaranteed quiet conversation should have been at home.

I didn’t say it was. Go back and read the post I was responding to.

YANBU. It doesn't matter if it's Christmas or any time, if your mate wanted peace and quiet or not, letting your child screech and shout in a cafe, or any public place, so they disturb others is rude and ignorant. But it seems some parents see this as an infringement on the rights of them and their children to do exactly what they want.

Op spoiled the experience for the baby

I don’t know, I don’t think a toddler should be shrieking at the top of their lungs in a cafe.

I definitely didn’t pick her apart, I had a laugh at her writing style! It’s cheesy and old-fashioned and made to position herself as being ‘above’ the boisterous city folk.

I’m sure a bit of ribbing won’t impact her too much! ☺️