To ask why women would be uncomfortable with unisex bathrooms

[Chumssss]

Discussion with my DH tonight about this. Am I right in thinking that unisex bathrooms are not great?

The one in John Lewis yesterday had wee all over the floor.
I threw paper towels on the floor and told the person after me I had done so (didn't want her and her child thinking I'd left it in such a mess).

Unisex fully enclosed cubicles with floor to ceiling walls - no problem. Use these in lots of restaurants, coffee shops, on trains, planes etc. [edit: no problem except for men pissing all over the floor and seat, obvs].

Unisex toilets without full cubicle walls so men in the next cubicle could look over / under / listen in - not acceptable to me, even if said man identifies as a woman. Too many incidents of filming / men boasting online of their fetishes for hearing women pee etc.

Unisex toilets where cubicles are in an open plan room with mixed sexes using mirrors and sinks etc - not acceptable to me unless there is a toilet attendant in there at all times. I’ve been flashed at in a toilet like this.

Unisex toilet in my own home - obviously acceptable and not the ‘gotcha’ gender activists seem to think it is.

I don't need to see someone's nob going to pee unless it's my husbands thank you. And even that's a stretch. Jeez 😫

What?!! I’ve worked in a lot of pubs and bars and the women’s were horrible! We all used to draw straws not to clean the women’s!!

more importantly a place where we can run too if scared and know a women will be there an protect us. They are safe.

When I think back to my school days, when I was having a bad day and needed some space, I went to the toilets. I've had days at work where something has occurred and I needed a little cry, I went to the toilet. Nights out someone has upset me, me and my friends would be straight to the toilets.

There is something about them being a sanctuary, possibly also because I suspect it was a boy/man that upset me in each of those scenarios 😂

They are unsafe for women. A flashers/pervs paradise

I hate unisex toilets...but really?? Changing sanitary wear (behind a closed door)? Toddlers and buggies??? Surely men can cope with these things

A few reasons, men are on the whole gross and the smell of a mens toilet can often be smelt just walking past the door. Secondly I would not feel comfortable coming across a man in a space like that, especially if I had my young daughter with me. It's a confined space, sometimes just you and one other person in there, and what if that person has bad intentions?
Women need their own space, and I'm talking about biological women. Anyone with a penis should not be sharing that space with women.

Stop mining MN for your articles.

Men in female toilets is creepy and uncomfortable and I now avoid anywhere with mixed sex 'gender neutral' toilets

Talk to any facilities manager, and they will tell you that they will have to refill the soap and paper towels often in women's loos, and hardly at all in the men's.

Anyway, the many reasons I hate unisex loos include:

Men can be either lazy or creeps and leave the doors open while they pee and shit. I've seem them do this everytime I've been to the unisex loos in Camden Market. Which is ~coincidentally also full of teenage girls.

Women are much more likely to be assaulted in mixed-sex loos.

Women who can't for reasons of religion or trauma share spaces with men are excluded from public life.

Too many men are dirty fuckers and spray the seat and floor.

And that is why the toilets in small cafes/restaurants/airplanes/trains/garages are almost always grim, or at least a little grimier than single sex ladies facilities. Because they are unisex.

Good god, I can't help wondering if all the "I'm fine with it, I don't notice the difference" ever actually leave their house, or if their only experience of a "unisex" toilet is the one in their own home which - I can't believe I need to point this out but apparently I do - is only used by people in their family and immediate social circle, who one would hope treat their/their friend's home with more respect than a lot of men appear to treat public facilities.

It's not all good. Women entering/exiting the cubicle are vulnerable. Easily forced in and trapped.
There have also been cases in mixed sex toilets of women finding hidden cameras.
Men have posted online about their disgusting fetishes including things like leaving semen on handles and rummaging through sanitary bins.

There's literally no reason that women and girls should be forced to share these spaces with men.

Personally I sit down because I'm a woman, but I understand some of these new women do it standing up.

This!!!! It’s a bigger blinking risk!!!!

People are vulnerable when using the toilet , to mix sexes COULD allow abuse to happen as there is no cameras etc .

I've never been in a unisex toilet that doesn't have piss on the floor and seat and stink.

Im not particularly bothered about sharing bathrooms with males. We have two seperate ones at work, one is used by females but you can hear everything from the office so usually use the downstairs one which the men use for anything other than a wee. I had to clean this a few weeks ago after a female left the floor in a mess and it was stinking. There are lots of unisex toilets in Manchester and Liverpool and probably other cities and back in the 90's it was common place for the females to use the mens toilets at a gig when the queues were huge for the ladies. See also festivals and the portable urinals. Women are now using SheWee devices and can use these also. Walked past one once with a female using it opposite a male and him shouting "you do not make eye contact at the urinals!"

My experience as a cleaner as well. And I did offices so they weren't especially rank, but the gents were still noticeably a little bit ranker. Pee in the hinges, that type of thing.

It really depends on layout and design.
Recently at hotel lobby the cubicles very private, sink area very open & bright.

But … no area privately touch up hair & makeup. No place to feel relaxed looking in mirror. No sanitary product machines.

Im not sure if there was a single sex or disabled option.

Also, recently travelled in Asia, signs on doors of female bathrooms in many places … no males over age 6. Must be a reason ….

It's perturbing to think you seem to be requesting permission here to have a discussion with your husband - but let me ask you this: Isn't your bathroom at home unisex?

I went shopping last week to a local town I haven't been to since last summer.

Needing the toilet I made my way over to them and noticed the area has had revamp, all very nice, big new letters on the wall at the entrance on one side MALE.
Other side, as in photo... Cannot for the life of me think why it wasn't also unisex on the mens side too.

My ex-DH died this way too. The hospice nurse who was with him in his home at the time, together with his adult children, said it's very common.

The only ones I've had the misfortune to use were absolutely disgusting. I've never in my life seen ladies' toilets in a similar environment (an office, not open to the public) even one tenth as filthy as those.

I had to use a women's loo like this about two months ago - I got cornered and the only place for me to retreat to was the women's loo, where I was reasonably sure the man wouldn't follow me. It wouldn't have helped that much if he had been determined to physically assault me, but I was being physically cornered and badgered to death with no obvious route out by a man who thought he was being "reasonable" but was in fact being really quite aggressive. He'd have followed me into unisex loos, absolutely no doubt of that.