To think you get your 'spark' back post menopause?

[SlB09]

I'm stuck. Stuck in the perimenopausal everything feels flat, my body and mind are following their own tune right now, UTTER RAGE and generally a horrible person esp to my husband which I feel terrible for.

Do you get 'you' back once all this settles down?!

Should add not on any medication or any hormones

Are you able to take HRT?

Why not?

Op might not be able to take HR. I can’t and am gutted.

IME a lot of women do get a second wind. Perhaps not exactly the same 'you', but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

M@paddyclampster I'm only 41 and kind of just realising now my symptoms are evolving/worsening that's it's V likely peri x

If you want help with your symptoms then you can explore hrt

Also have never been able to take oral contraception for example as lots of nausea/vomitting/mood changes/migraines etc so I'm mindful of that

I’m over the menopause now and I’m so bloody zen!! I laugh when I think about how uptight I was during my forties.

I just have no fucks to give now.

@ErrolTheDragon thanks, I'm not expecting a second wind as such, just not to be a rage monster tearful flat example of a human ,😄

Following with interest. I'm the same age and struggling so much with moods and energy levels in the second half of my cycle. I feel fine in the first half then just turn into an exhausted horrible bitch for a fortnight.

I'm out the other end of the menopause. My rage is starting to subside but I still get irritated quickly. My hot flushes and night sweats have stopped.
My sleep is getting back to normal. I still have a very sweet tooth which was never a thing before the perimenopause.
I didn't take HRT, I didn't rule it out and knew I'd take it if my sleep had got any worse but it was all manageable.

Yes. I have
But am on HRT and I also work very hard at stuff others may not want to do. Like doing new things and making new friends.

I am out the other side and have never felt better. I am so chilled, sleep brilliantly ( combination of magnesium and l-theanine), the exhaustion has gone, I do a lot more sport because I am not so exhausted.
It helps that our dc’s are at uni and I am retiring at the end of the school year. I feel more like my younger self that I ever have. And if anyone has anything to say about they can jog on because I no longer care. Liberation.

@BlanketLanyard are you me?!!

If you’re experiencing symptoms, and ‘the loss of joy’, which is how women used to describe the menopause, get yourself on HRT!

I can't speak from my own experience because I'm not there yet, but my mum turned into a totally different person post menopause. In the space of a few years around age 45-50 she went from being generally happy, sociable, always singing, just wonderful to be around, to being anxious, withdrawn, unpredictable in her moods... she's in her 70s now and we never got her back. If anything, old age has made her anxiety and paranoia even worse. She's more or less just been waiting to die for the last decade or so - a shell of the fantastic woman I remember.
She did have significant childhood trauma that I don't think she's ever really worked through. I don't know whether the menopause can somehow bring that to the fore..? Maybe without the underlying trauma she would have had a different experience of menopause, I don't know. She didn't take HRT; I think at the time there was a lot of hesitancy around it due to a perceived increased risk of cancer.
It's made me terrified of the menopause.

Edited for typo

I think it's very personal, everyone is different and everyone's experience is different. Some of the symptoms might be down to fluctuating oestrogen levels as your ovaries gradually pack up and yes, the rage/flushes/depression might taper off as your body adjusts to lower levels of hormones. Other women are different and carry on having hot flushes or bours of rage/depression for the rest of their lives.

I'd also advise posting on the menopause forum for experiences for people who have been through the whole thing. I'd also argue that just because you have had bad experiences with the pill that it automatically follows that HRT will not agree with you. You might find it helps enormously. No gold star stickers for not using HRT when you need it.

Two other points - see your GP and ask for blood tests. 41 is a tad on a early side but not exceptionally so, but you do need to rule out other conditions which have similar symptoms like underactive thyroid. And some things which may happen during menopause such as vaginal atrophy are NEVER going to get any better without medication.

I didn’t do hrt either.

@Lentilweaver how do you feel this approach has helped you?
I feel like between maintaining work/exercise/child/husband/friends I've barely time or energy to do this!

I certainly did. Moods levelled, energy came back, muscular aches and pains lifted. Only thing that didn’t shift was the blooming meno pot around my belly, but I can live with that as I feel so, so much better. I did not HRT.

HRT has made the peri symptom free for me - I can recommend it!

Me too. I take vitamin D and B. Just retired, and full of beans now. So, so happy not to be dealing with gynae things. What a wonder.

Yep. getting to the other side is WONDERFUL.

My DC are young adults and taking care of themselves so I have more time now.

At 41 I definitely didnt have time. I am nearly 53. Also WFH most days.