To think you get your 'spark' back post menopause?

[SlB09]

I'm stuck. Stuck in the perimenopausal everything feels flat, my body and mind are following their own tune right now, UTTER RAGE and generally a horrible person esp to my husband which I feel terrible for.

Do you get 'you' back once all this settles down?!

I think my menopause may be over my stomach is suddenly flat again, I quite like my husband and the anxiety has all but disappeared. If my eyebrows cone back I will be certain.

No it's a fibroid. Which would explain the change in my periods but maybe not the mood swings, restless legs, poor sleep, random joint pain that comes and goes like magic and the headaches. I turn 45 in a few weeks time.

Yes definitely but you will never give a fuck ever again about anything!

I'm post- menopause at 47. Started HRT at 41, after having to beg my GP...it helped to a point, stopped the all consuming rage for example. 18 months ago I had to come off HRT as my blood pressure went sky-high (family trait) and I'm on 2 blood pressure medications now which don't work with the HRT. I was gutted BUT I've not actually noticed much difference. My DD says I'm not a rage filled monster again, I'm definitely over giving a fuck what anyone thinks about me, DP and I are having the best sex ever and I've lost 6kg in the last 5 months without restrictive dieting. I'm different to who I was before but as we age, we change. We aren't the same person as when we were kids are we? This is another phase of our lives xx

I disagree (without taking away from your own experience)

I didn’t take HRT but am definitely full of energy, sleep well and am very calm now age 59. My forties were full of absolute rage and what I can only describe as teenage emotions and mood swings.

Yes, there is a full life with joy and happiness but you do have to make any changes that are contributing to your emotional state. I got divorced and moved to a tiny house by the sea. Others take up running or make new friends. For some, HRT works brilliantly and they feel great again.

Please don’t think this is the “end” though. It absolutely isn’t. It’s a new beginning. I’m definitely the happiest I’ve ever been, aside from those early baby days which I found blissful.

I never knew this was to do with menopause, I just thought it was me, I’m 54, still have the mirena coil fitted so haven’t had periods for over 12 ish years anyway.

The thought of doing anything leaves me feeling flat, I get no joy out of doing anything anymore. Used to love trips to London and we’d go quite frequently, not interested now. I don’t want to go abroad, I don’t get any feelings of excitement about travel the way I used to. I work with a couple of women who constantly go out to socialise. It wears me out at the thought of it, I just can’t be bothered 😕

The only things that fill me with joy are the garden birds and anything animal related. Think it’s more human interaction I have a problem with! 😆

Did you misquote or misunderstand my post @JoanOfArchers? I do a lot of stuff- travel, socialise, hobbies. I like meeting people. I emphasise this because I want women to know being flat is not always the case.

What I don't want to do anymore is stuff for my family. Luckily they don't need me as much as they are grown.

Apologies, I’ve misunderstood.

No worries! 😊Btw I also enjoy nature. Just not gardening.

I got my mojo back when my exh left me, turns out that was the main issue not peri. 5.5 years later still not gone through menopause but life is amazing.

My honest truth, look at your whole life situation rather than assuming hormones

This gives me hope thanks for sharing

It looks like the biggest gain for us women is " the never giving a fuck about anything ever again." How wonderful! The rest of it is shit though.

Sorry if it has been said OP but are you absolutely certain it’s Peri?
I tend to think that so many health conditions are attributed to Peri if you’re a woman over the age of 40.
Have you had any blood tests done recently? If not, can you get any? If not through GP, try a private company that will test you if you can afford it (plenty of postal services online)
Try and test for as much as you can but definitely- Ferritin/Iron, Vitamin B12, Folate and Vitamin D and regardless of what your GP says about them being ‘normal’ make sure you look at the levels yourself and get them to ‘optimal’

All of these deficiencies can cause fatigue, irritability, hot flushes/night sweats as well as various other symptoms.

I had all of the above. Got private bloods done and have been working to get my Ferritin, B12 and folate up optimum (had low levels of all three) and the difference is like night and day. I’m 40 and no longer believe it’s Peri.

There is a whole host of research on carriers of a MTHFR gene mutation which inhibitions the absorption of B12 and Folate meaning you have to take methylated versions of these. Look at research done on Methyl Folate as a supplement (readily available to buy) and its effects on some of the symptoms. Also, look in to getting B12 injections if your levels are low (some pharmacies will do this for £30)

Dont resign yourself to feeling terrible for the next decade if you don’t need to x

A gain: I have a lot of self confidence. I dont really care what people think of me.
Doesn't mean I am rude or abrasive.
I just don't worry about what people think of me as most people aren't thinking about me

This is me, loving life on the other side.

I fully intend to live it to the fullest.

And watch this for a different perspective:

I’m on hrt which has helped a lot. Why not try it?

To add to what I have already posted, your body needs certain raw materials to make estrogen.

A friend of mine started getting irregular periods and thought it was Peri. She got bloods done at the GP who said they were all normal and she would just have to put up with it.
Turns out, although both her ferritin and Vit d levels were in ‘normal range’, neither were in the optimum range. She started taking higher strength iron (the usual ORC dose of 14mg isn’t strong enough) and vitamin D and not only did her periods settle down, her PMS symptoms were significantly improved for the first time in her life. She is also 40

I guess this is sarcasm? Because I can't see why this is a good thing

I think it means less worrying about what others think.

Re hrt, not everyone is prescribed. That's entirely normal.

Re spark, yes definitely although it's kinda different but not in a bad way

I give GIGANTIC fucks about my adult DC. And my dog. And my close friends.

Very few fucks available for anything and everything outside of that. I have leant right out at work. I just do what I’m paid for and rather enjoy it. If it starts getting remotely stressful I take a step back or look to offload something.

I used to get so angry at stupid things. Someone cutting me up at a roundabout, not moving their bag off a train seat, the bin men didn’t come, a sibling cancelled plans. It’s this sort of shit that just barely warrants an eye roll now. I have stopped wanting to control the world. I just take care of myself and my immediate family now. Everything else can fuck off.

Agree with PPs - being post-menopausal is terrific. I feel strong and confident and my libido is still there (it’s never been high but it’s thrumming along nicely). I think my body likes being free of the risk of pregnancy.

I chose not to take HRT. I feel like me but I don't care less about what people think of me. It's been liberating.

What type hrt are you on and have you looked at histamine intolerance at all?