To think you get your 'spark' back post menopause?

[SlB09]

I'm stuck. Stuck in the perimenopausal everything feels flat, my body and mind are following their own tune right now, UTTER RAGE and generally a horrible person esp to my husband which I feel terrible for.

Do you get 'you' back once all this settles down?!

Soy Isoflavones. I was trying to take 2x daily but I mostly forget to, so I get a hot flush then take one or two pills that day and like magic, no more flushes for a few days. I've incorporated more soy into my diet, too.

I’m not sure HRT is that good. There are so many things that change around the time of menopause. Losing parents, partners either through divorce or death is common in your 50s & 60s. Losing your identity as a mother or your identity after retirement. All these things have a huge impact, probably the biggest change is in your looks.

You really do become invisible and for some women this can be catastrophic, HRT does not affect the external aging process although you retain your libido you are no longer attracted to men the way you did. For some it’s a wonderful leveller, your glamorous friends no longer stand out.

I have had a crap few years, I had to come off HRT due to breast cancer, which can in itself be very de feminising if you have to have a mastectomy. But I’m now 3yrs on and still clear of breast cancer. I have no libido thanks to the hormone blockers but in some ways it is great not worrying about whether I’m still attractive. I have a lovely DH who makes sure that I don’t feel unattractive.
2024 was going to be the year I worked on myself, but it hasn’t been a great year. I’m hoping that 2025 is different.

I lost my youngest sister recently, it’s had a profound effect on me, I am going to do what I want. I had already retired, well almost, I still work one day a week. I feel very lucky to be here and will live out my days financially secure. Being happy is down to you, I’ve learned that you can’t hang around waiting for other people to make you happy. I am planning some days out on my own, my DH struggles walking ( footballers knee combined with a stroke is very limiting but hopefully he will get a new knee next year so can join me). I’ve spent a lifetime working as an HCP so I really don’t need people around me. I had so many plans when I slowed down in 2019 but then COVID hit followed by cancer. I feel like I’ve been stuck on hold but now I want to have a go at all the things I’d planned back in 2019.

Menopause is just one small area of aging. HRT does not stop the general aging process and believing it will may end up in disappointment.

@Angrymum22 that's a really thoughtful appreciated reply. I'm all to aware that in all likelyhood life will change alot in the next decade, my husband had cancer three years ago (late 30's) and this experience definitely swayed our views on life. I think for me the hormonal thing is the difference between being able to 'cope' with it and completely breaking down/overwhelmed etc with things and mind spiralling into oblivion. So for me, I wouldn't expect her to be a miracle cure but if it helped me cope better then yes.

I'm sorry to hear of your rough few years, life truly is trying at times. I'm glad you're three years clear, long may it continue!x

Just popped back to say I'm back on HRT, apparently I can have it again now. It's a little like so many things wrong with me, let's try this and reduce some and then see where we stand. So today I've put on my first patch in several years. Fingers crossed.