Ick of Christmas present from Dp

[DivaORJustified]

Usually Dp give each other a wish list of specific items or vague items like earrings so the other can choose.
Was really happy with the earrings he brought be, they were under stated but very elegant, exactly what I would chose. On Boxing Day when we had his dc under 10, one of his daughters presents was exact same pair of earrings in gold instead of rose gold. Am I right to feel upset about it as it doesn’t feel like a romantic or thoughtful gift anymore. Happy for opinions no matter how harsh. Thank you

She had an issue with a present after she found out he had given something similar to his daughter. Not an ex, not another women, his actual daughter.

It's just jealousy, and a reaction to OP thinking that she should be considered more special than the man's own child. That's what she's communicated to him, and he's understandably reacted to it. Some people are not as fully in control with your emotions as you clearly are.

I can’t be bothered with him at the moment trying to over compensate for being a thoughtless arse!

The majority of posters think you are unreasonable. Have you even for a moment thought you might be?

YABU and absolutely ridiculous. Tbh you sound jealous of his daughter. You really need to apologise to him, unless you want to look like a total loon and risk your relationship with him.

I don’t think it’s jealousy, as I’ve stated. And I’m not going to be snippy with you on an MN thread because we happen to disagree.

Ahh you’re jealous of his relationship with his daughter. As much as you don’t want to admit this, you know you are. You wanted your “special” present and hate that he got the same for his daughter.
Get a grip.

Well yes, but I’m not sure what your point is?

The accusations of jealousy are interesting. I suspect - from the attitude one often finds to MILs on MN - that the responses would be very different if he’d given the same gift to an OP and his mother.

For a lot of people, gift giving is about someone thinking of you and getting something for you. Not anyone else, just you. When said gift is given by the same person to people other than you (however beloved said third party may be), it stops being that token of unique specialness and becomes something done by rote, for convenience. Feeling hurt by that isn’t jealousy (from her comments, it’s clear that OP would be perfectly happy if he’d given his DD a fabulous gift, just a different fabulous gift), it’s disappointment.

Oh for Gs sake OP. I've never read such a me,me me thread since I joined mumsnet. You sound like an amazing supporter being the higher earner. Are you looking in return for your partner to fall on his knees with his special gift. Give him a break & find some appreciation for what you recived not what your fantasy of showing his love is in your head.

Really well that was helpful......

I can’t be bothered with him at the moment trying to over compensate for being a thoughtless arse!

He doesn't sound at all thoughtless, he bought you a lovely gift as well as some other things.

You sound childish and petulant.

Your a diva and you give me the ick. Some people are so ungrateful. As to crumbs.....seriously. go volunteer at a soup kitchen

Ridiculous! He loves you and he loves his daughter. He bought lovely earrings for the 2 women in his life in different colours. I think it is sweet. You sound like a 12 year old. Grow up.

Yes you are. I can't believe you actually complained to your husband about your gift, which he bought in good faith.

If I were him I'd want out.

What super special gift did you get him OP?

They are actually the same colour. He confirmed it earlier.

it’s always been his tradition to want a list and we always pick a few things and a few suprises we think other one will like. I said I just wanted a nice piece of jewellery I could wear every day and not get mugged travelling back and forth to work. Other ones were really fun and inexpensive but not taken on board.

And?? So what?? The two most important women in his life got a beautiful pair of earrings. None of who are more important than the other. I think it’s a lovely gesture. He thinks a lot of both of you.

I got him stuff on his list and I didn’t duplicate the same gift to my dad, brother and nephews. Is that enough info for you?

You just totally and utterly continue to miss the point people are trying to make to you.

Nothing like continuing to ask for advice/empathy, not taking anything on board and continuing to make the same point.

OP we are all kinda saying you need to change your perspective and not continue to argue your point. We understand, we just don’t agree. A difference with a significance you seem to be missing.

So you didn't get him something special not on his list?

Thanks, you are voicing what I wanted to get across, I have probably clumsily articulated what I meant. Or people just want to believe I am jealous of a small child.

For a lot of people

Agreed, but not Op's other half. He's him. She's her.

Yes I did plus presents from his dc to him
that I chose together with his dc and we wrapped up together. You are really odd - what’s the clever point you are trying to make here?

So it’s ok for your partner to do something that upset you and just stay quiet? It’s how I feel and if I didn’t say anything he wouldn’t know and probably ruin next Xmas as well! Should I change my perspective to it’s ok for me to be treated in a way I don’t appreciate?

Should I change my perspective to it’s ok for me to be treated in a way I don’t appreciate?

Absolutely, because this is completely innocent on his behalf. And by many accounts here, totally normal.

If I was his friend/relative, you'd be raising a bit of a red flag for me