To feel like people assume if you're wealthy, successful etc people assume you can't have problems?

[MyLilacGoose]

I had a very challenging childhood, NC with parents, suffer from depression for which I take medication for. Most people will respond to this with sympathy and kindness if they don't know anything else.

If people know I'm an attractive multimillionaire who married another attractive multimillionaire? Entitled, detached, you have no real problems etc. They don't always say it to your face but they regularly say it behind your back, and they don't realise they are no less privileged if they compare themselves to those in the developing world i.e. most people.

One of my closest friends is even wealthier but came from a very elite background and had it far worse yet gets even less sympathy because she was born rich and she obviously isn't going to go around explaining the painful details. You can tell it bothers her as well.

AIBU?
Edit: sorry about the poorly worded title.

She's suffering from depression due to childhood abuse and hasn't seen her parents since she was 18.

How is that not a real problem?

Because money cannot buy happiness but money gives you a number of choices while you’re dealing with sadness, loss, grief, illness, anger and the rest of it. You’re obviously not immune to life when very rich. In my example I mentioned before, a colleague who lost her young child in an accident had to come back to work after her sick pay ran out. She wasn’t “poor” but she’s an average person who needed her wage to pay bills. A very rich person experiencing the same tragic loss won’t be any less devastated. They deserve equal love and empathy for the most horrific event. A rich person, however, be able to choose to take more time off work. They will be able to pay for a cleaner and people to do those every day household tasks that my colleague described as “agony” because she was paralysed by grief but the house needed cleaning and the car needed an MOT etc.

The OP didn’t post to say she’s suffering and seeking help for her valid problems. The OP posted because they are stating that rich people don’t get validation and sympathy from the wider population. Most of us have agreed rich people and poor people can suffer in this life. The OP is seeking validation in the wrong places.
If she had posted about her mental health and abusive past, she wouldn’t have had to pass a test on being below a certain income. Anyone can post on here and seek support.

No she's not looking for support.

That's irrelevant to the person I was replying to saying she has no real problems when she clearly does.

I think if you are part of a wealthy power couple, both attractive and rich, you have 2 advantages over most of society.

You have two currencies, that most others don't have.

People will think you live in an ivory tower and try to level you down.

It doesn't matter that you grew up poor, people will try to chip away at you to soothe their own self esteem issues.

Money does not buy happiness. Attractive people can intimidate average looking people. Resentful people will think you won the genetics jackpot, I stead of considering the agency that you exert to maintain a healthy body.

You need to put the same agency in developing resilience and empathy for others. Understanding others people's perspective, triggers and weaknesses will help you to accept their reasons for their actions.

I think people assume if you are wealthy and attractive and have those power currencies, you have more resilience tools to combat problems.

That pisses people off.

However as already mentioned, wealth creates problems, paranoia, social isolation. People worrying about bills, don't see that part.

This is not my experience at all.

It’s maybe a symptom of your mental troubles that you assume everyone is saying nasty things about you. It’s very unlikely to be the case.

Your whole post proves why you don't get sympathy. You seem to have no awareness of some of the troubles others around you deal with daily. Feeding yourself and your children having warm water, being able to get out of crappy situations with the help of money. Maybe you should be more grateful for what you have

To an extent, yes. But are you saying that You can't discuss the loss of a term baby and never being able to have other kids with someone who has less, or may be poor? Can you only have things in common with people with the same amount of money? Do you really think money eliminates that devestation? This kind of proves op's point, that money is expected to make everything ok.

There are a lot of problems money can fix, and a lot where it's of no use at all.

Some of us have both though. I know I'd far rather be fucked and rich than fucked and poor

Nobody is saying money makes things ok. OP has depression and a family problems. I'm not seeing much sympathy from her for poorer people with those problems. In fact she seems to think poorer people are only poor. She's just making demands and blaming jealousy rather than reflecting on her own behavior. You have to give to receive.
MN is an anonymous forum, she could have posted about her depression. But she didn't. She decided to complain about being rich and attractive.

There is no measure for mental health though is there. A multimillionaire at the point of despair to the point of suicide is no less deserving than a single parent on an estate.

By your reasoning NO one in the UK deserves any sympathy because there are people living on rubbish tips in the Philippines.

But she is. Her childhood was broken, dysfunctional, and in poverty. Childhood abuse is a real problem.

You could refer to the Dunedin study for more info if you're curious. Those who grew up in poverty, even if they escape it and do well, have shorter lifespans. Of course, that doesn't mean that no individual can recovery well or have a long life.

Part of the isolation is the wealth leap. If you have a rags to riches life, you are not part of the elite generations of wealth and you are isolated from struggling and average people. You are alienated from a lot of people.

Your social network is more limited. You don't fit into the typical social circles.

You want to prove that you have struggles too, but I guess that's galling for people who have trauma and also have no way out, no spare cash for therapy or self care or entertainment to divert their minds.

Wealth provides choices and options. People without choices feel trapped. They resent your choices.

Everyone has trauma, some more than others. We all have to develop healthy coping skills.

OP briefly outlines her past history but the majority of this thread is about how her success now makes support less likely. That’s how she’s framed the entire discussion.

A multimillionaire at the point of despair to the point of suicide is no less deserving than a single parent on an estate

theoretically no, in practice the single parent will receive support far below what they ‘deserve’.

practically, wealth is a route to safety. If you can afford a private hospital you can manage the multimillionaires safety with as much support as you can buy. It’s not an option for the person without assets.

at some non returnable point the two are completely equal and past the point any intervention, brought or not, can help.

People only have a limited capacity to empathise and show sympathy. I can’t sympathise with everyone’s troubles it’s just too much. I choose to sympathise with those that have (in my view) less. But it’s all relative. Whining about not getting sympathy when you are wealthy is distasteful. If you have more than most you should be grateful.

So how did you go from poverty to being a multimillionaire? Tell me your secret and I'll give you sympathy in return!

Who cares if complete strangers extend sympathy to you though? What's it good for?

This 💯

I'm astonished by the reactions you're getting here, and I'm not wealthy. It's as if people don't understand that abuse and trauma you experience as a child leave permanent damage that can't be undone by throwing money at it. It's obvious to me. I'm a teacher and have taught in comprehensives with very poor children and in private schools with very wealthy children. Would my sympathy or desire to help an abused child be any different based on the financial situation of the child? No, of course not. If I later heard that the poor child had done well for themselves financially, I'd be pleased about that, but I certainly wouldn't assume the damage from the abuse was any less.

How many wealthy children were abused in boarding schools. Wealth doesn't buy happiness.

OP, you sound incredibly self-absorbed and devoid of self-awareness.

Your answer to @DoAWheelie 's post above was astonishing dismissive and insensitive.

And here you are complaining that people don't take the problems of "multi-millionaire" (right) attractive power couples seriously.

Do you see the irony?

Sounds like a good deal 😂

Haven't RTFT.

Just wanted to say that although there is some truth to the fact that you can buy comfort, security and therapy, trauma is incurable.

And in some cases makes things worse. I used to work in addiction and in order to get help, rock bottom involved running out of one of two things; money or health. Alcoholics who got into debt and sought help were massively better off than the millionaires we saw who carried on drinking until they were half-dead. Look at all the famous people who killed themselves using alcohol and drugs. Because they can buy ALL the alcohol and drugs and pay people to party with them.

Money isn't everything.