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Original poster

DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

1000 replies

YerJokin · 27/12/2024 15:44

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

OP posts:
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20
askmenow · 27/12/2024 17:25

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/12/2024 16:39

Jimmy Saville did a lot for charity. Just saying.

Don't paint everyone withe same brush!!

MissDoubleU · 27/12/2024 17:25

StepAwayFromMyCoffee · 27/12/2024 17:19

YABU. How would you feel if he was criticising your hobbies?

Maybe if her hobby was a misogynistic racist cult he would have every right to criticise 🙂

SavingTheBestTillLast · 27/12/2024 17:26

belleager · 27/12/2024 17:18

Some people like clubs. There used to be lots more that weren't focused on drink and sport.

Masons admit Catholics and women these days too.

I wouldn't be very clubbish myself nor have much time for it, and I wouldn't go to events unless I wanted to, but I don't see why you wouldn't let someone get on with it if they wanted to join in. If there's a problem with their specific associates or activities, by all means object. Otherwise I'd let him crack on and do my own thing. (And I'd expect the freedom to do my own thing!)

The Freemasons is Anti Catholic
Many ‘rituals’ are blasphemous.

DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe
JolabokafloyiyWhereYisThorn · 27/12/2024 17:27

It's basically Pokemon for adults. Collect your orders, move up, get another apron, visit another Lodge...

I was deeply disappointed that the chequered floor in the lodge I visited was a fluffy rug and not marble.

HoppityBun · 27/12/2024 17:27

Auntywokery · 27/12/2024 16:49

Leaving aside the funny “secret” passwords eg Boaz, Macbinna etc, the open shirt (to exclude females originally ) the rope around the neck, the funny walks, the funny handshakes and all the dressing up and archaic language and titles etc, it was designed as a vehicle for unaccountable influence and power. Nowadays it is largely an old gentleman’s club and an object of derision. A lot of Met police corruption was centred on the St James’ Lodge in London. Royalty has often been involved, Phillip Mountbatten and the Duke of Kent we’re high-ups. Charles, to his credit declined an invitation o participate. Ick barely covers it.

I had a relative, reasonably high grade in the Civil Service, who was invited to join the Masons by a high ranking police officer who he was quite good friends with. The relative was so appalled that he dropped the friendship. I was a child at the time, in the 60s, and heard my parents talking about it but was too young to grasp why the family was so shocked.

wizzywig · 27/12/2024 17:27

The serial killer John Wayne Gacy was in an American equivalent, the Jaycees

ParsnipPuree · 27/12/2024 17:28

It's so weird. My dh threatened it but luckily forgot about it. He certainly didn't need it and neither do I !

Frankbeverleyandthebutlers · 27/12/2024 17:28

ThatKhakiMoose · 27/12/2024 17:19

That's a very unfair and prejudiced view. My dad's Masons were nothing like that.

Show quote history

The orange order and the masons are two different things.
The orange order is primarily a west coast thing.
Orange order tried organising a march not long ago in a Ne Scottish town.. resounding not welcome was put out

askmenow · 27/12/2024 17:28

ChocHotolate · 27/12/2024 16:59

DH is on the Square too (he’s a Mason).
The mason charity paid for our IVF to have our son, I will be grateful forever

Good on them! They do lots of good.
Time we ladies were secure enough in our existence to allow mens to have their own clubs... Its NOT all about women.

Feelingsad1987 · 27/12/2024 17:29

Freemasonry is a disgusting cult. It would be a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't class it as just a 'hobby'.

Tinselskirt · 27/12/2024 17:29

SavingTheBestTillLast · 27/12/2024 16:47

I don’t know why you go to the partner events OP.
It’s all so sexist, old boys clubs …. giving the in boys the upper hand.

If I married someone that decided to join I’d have to assume I’m a really bad judge of character

The RIBA arranged a CPD training event for Architects at the local Lodge. My boss paid £250 for me but they wouldn’t even let me in for the event. Not unless I was the cleaner !

Edited

I know someone who waitresses at the masons lodge. Theyre perfectly happy for the females to wait on them, but as soon as their top secret meeting starts, women are locked out of the room.

Pathetic.

Fooshufflewickjbannanapants · 27/12/2024 17:29

Eufy, they're very happy to have convicted peadophiles and drunk drivers in their groups.

SavingTheBestTillLast · 27/12/2024 17:30

belleager · 27/12/2024 17:20

So they subscribe and give 20% to charity, 80% to mutual benefit? Sounds okay. Obviously members should give within their means only.

Show quote history

Others will attend the events
Its not all donations by members
Then an average of 80% of what’s made goes back to themselves

I make the reference as some may assume everything they do is for others. It’s very far from that.

Startrekkeruniverse · 27/12/2024 17:31

Feelingstrange2 · 27/12/2024 16:56

I call them Undercover Elephants.

Because they walk.through town on a Wednesday at 6pm, groups of 3 - 5 men, dressed in black suits carrying black briefcases.

Secret, yeah right. 😎

I've known a few. I was in business with one that was a Grand Masterflash or something one year. I think they are generally harmless, raise money for charity whilst doing strange, half dressed, hoppy dances. If they leave me alone to go to my soundbaths and yoga, I can live with it.

Edited

Agreed. The masons I know do a lot for charity.

Americano75 · 27/12/2024 17:31

Masons admit Catholics and women these days too.

They really, really don't admit Catholics in Scotland. @belleager

mealdeal20 · 27/12/2024 17:31

@Frankbeverleyandthebutlers I know they are different 🤦‍♀️ (despite sharing lots of the silly language) I was commenting on the links that exist between the two an the cross over in membership in Scotland

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/12/2024 17:31

AllstarFacilier · 27/12/2024 17:10

Please tell me more. I’m fascinated by all of this. The more that is explained, the less I understand.

Show quote history

"Black balling" refers to the process if a secret ballot's needed to accept a new member; they're each given one white and one black ball and drop their choice into the pot, with even a single black one meaning refusal

As for the buildings - as opposed to lodges, which mean the actual group - some are owned and some aren't; for example our local one hires a banqueting suite

RabbitsEatPancakes · 27/12/2024 17:32

Our local masons raised a huge amount of money for the independent women's refuge in town. They all seemed very friendly, not sure about racist either as they weren't all white.

Just seems like a social club with some silly rituals no different to the rugby club drink 6 pints of milk, spin on your head type thing.

OrwellianTimes · 27/12/2024 17:33

AllstarFacilier · 27/12/2024 16:27

So are they basically the male adult version of Brownies?

Some of the things that go on at Freemason initiation ceremonies would definitely not pass safeguarding checks for kids, so no.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 27/12/2024 17:35

They seem to really highlight any charity or donations they make. Odd they like to do it so publicly.

SavingTheBestTillLast · 27/12/2024 17:35

Americano75 · 27/12/2024 17:31

Masons admit Catholics and women these days too.

They really, really don't admit Catholics in Scotland. @belleager

No.
They don’t admit them at our local either.
My boss asked if my dh was Catholic ( he isn’t, I am ) before he asked him if he wanted to attend
My dh just laughed at the very idea.

Most of my London bosses were Masons too, women andCatholics not allowed. I was once told when i joked about it that I failed on two counts anyway

Ps.
Its so blasphemous no practicing Catholic should attend anyway.

Frankbeverleyandthebutlers · 27/12/2024 17:38

mealdeal20 · 27/12/2024 17:31

@Frankbeverleyandthebutlers I know they are different 🤦‍♀️ (despite sharing lots of the silly language) I was commenting on the links that exist between the two an the cross over in membership in Scotland

The bigotry that exists in the west coast of Scotland does not encompass the whole of Scotland.
I think you would find the Ne of Scotland more tolerant than the west .

BIossomtoes · 27/12/2024 17:38

Feelingsad1987 · 27/12/2024 17:29

Freemasonry is a disgusting cult. It would be a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't class it as just a 'hobby'.

It was a dealbreaker for me. My bloke was a mason when we met. I made it very clear it was them or me.

XenoBitch · 27/12/2024 17:38

askmenow · 27/12/2024 17:28

Good on them! They do lots of good.
Time we ladies were secure enough in our existence to allow mens to have their own clubs... Its NOT all about women.

Show quote history

There is the Men Shed movement that is in the UK. Is basically men meeting up in a communal workshop type place to make things and have a chat.
A branch opened up where I live... so many women asking if they could join as they would like to do woodwork.
Women preach about safe spaces, and that is absolutely right... but men need their own too.
My local Mind branch has lots of groups, including a women's group. No men's group.

AllstarFacilier · 27/12/2024 17:39

Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/12/2024 17:31

"Black balling" refers to the process if a secret ballot's needed to accept a new member; they're each given one white and one black ball and drop their choice into the pot, with even a single black one meaning refusal

As for the buildings - as opposed to lodges, which mean the actual group - some are owned and some aren't; for example our local one hires a banqueting suite

Show quote history

Aww, not as funny as I was hoping it was going to be 😂

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