DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

My husband’s a Freemason. I think it’s weird and a bit ‘dungeons and dragons’. Granted he doesn’t take it as seriously as some of others and I can’t imagine I’d ever have much in common with ‘Masonic wives’ - it’s very clicky, showy and based around social status. But he doesn’t force me to do his Masonic stuff and it’s his thing. There’s bound to be something you do that he doesn’t like!

I wouldn’t say they were useless. I would say some were promoted above their capabilities as they had friends in higher places. It was an open secret within the environment I worked and frustrating for those who knew. We knew who were Freemasons and it was very much known that certain branch managers were only in their positions because of their affiliations. Bear in mind I worked within a department with extremely close associations with the branches-let’s say a supervisory role-I knew what had gone on.
You’re right though, I did get there through pure hard work and everyone knew and respected that.

@NewspaperTaxis why do they have to justify their existence?! E.g. The church is shrouded in controversy with backhanders everywhere but the BB doesn’t need to justify itself. Why can’t we just put it down to something we don’t understand the appeal of and don’t care to join?

I went to an open day at the local lodge September last year as I had some free time and an old school friend had been a member of his lodge up north for decade. I wasn’t sure but he egged me on, so I went. It was very friendly and they had a poster up for the 300k they had raised for machines for local hospitals… It was a very strange experience from the outset. A lot of acting, costumes, recitals and ceremony. The password for the day was ‘Gandalf’… It all seemed ‘ok’ until we were stood outside watching the blokes throw wet sponges at some leader in stocks for money (for charity). Someone I volunteer with was there and asked me if I was going to join up. I asked if she was and she said, ‘oh I can’t, this lodge is male only’ I was a bit taken aback but before I could say anything one of the members leant in and told her where there was women’s lodge, in the main city about 1hr drive away.

I just looked at my watch and said I had a meeting to attend and walked off, up the drive and out.

Why would I want to spend all my free time with a load of blokes without any women around, except on open days and events where they basically cater and wait on them?

It’s up to you how you approach it, but if he’s happy with that set up, maybe he’s happy with his partner just doing all the cooking and cleaning at home. From what little I gleaned it feels like you’re both going to be retired and you won’t be equals enjoying your free time with shared responsibilities - it felt like a return to the 40s.

I felt like I’d walked into a Dennis Wheatley novel, it gave me the creeps.

You’re not being unreasonable, I’m just a bloke and it felt uncomfortable for me within an hour.

Sure, it’s not for everyone… But I was talking to a few of the members at a table for a while, over tea and scones and that’s the impression I got. I also spoke to a woman in her late 60’s whose grandfather and her father were members. Her father was quite high ranking and it sounded like her whole life was consumed with the masons.

Ireland is NOT in the UK!!!!!!

Did any of the individuals concerned confirm this. So, these people weren’t useless now so could equally have got there through hard work, yet because it was suspected people found out they were FM the prejudices stepped in and rumours spread. Bet no one said the rumours to their face. Bit like all “open secrets” they’re open to everyone but the people affected.

I am in no way trying to country the thread
but when people are talking rubbish I feel I must correct it .
freemasonry does not try to control its members we can attend or not attend when we want.
but I would be interested in seeing your proof about how it controls its members.

I’m sorry - you think I’m a man? Do you want to search my previous posts? I’m very clearly female. Or do you think I’m a man lying dormant on Mumsnet waiting for years for this post to appear?

Freemasonry isn’t a cult, if you are believing the lies and conspiracy theories on this thread, you aren’t learning anything. I suggest the best place for you to start if you want to learn about Freemasonry is the museum of Freemasonry and do a tour of Freemasons Hall.

Are you generally susceptible to conspiracy theories, 5g mast, new world order, vaccines etc. They’re all from the same place as the tripe being spread on here.

Then what flags make up the Union Jack
try telling the people of Northern Ireland that they are not British

Freemasonry is an honourable thing. Raising money for charity is he main aim. Women can be Freemasons too. Don't knock it without having the full facts.

You didn’t say Northern Ireland though @Aulddeacon.
You said Ireland.
The former is in the UK, the latter is not.

What a lot of nonsense from people who don't know what they are talking about. Freemasonry is open to all religions, races and colours. Also there are thousands of women Freemasons of all religions including Catholics and Jews.

I was also in banking. It got to the point where if there were discussions about “how did so-and-so get that job/promotion?”, I started saying in an innocent tone “do you think he could be in the Freemasons”? It used to amuse me to see some of the expressions on the men’s faces.

Ah, so your prejudice has been long standing. What were these looks?

I'm not telling anyone in NORTHERN IRELAND it's not the UK.
You said Ireland, which is absolutely not in the UK - and the ignorance of this fact is actually quite upsetting for those of us who are Irish.

Think I said the grand lodge of Ireland which takes in the whole of Ireland

Absolutely this. Childish and low IQ is spot on!

Yes, it covers the island so maybe your original comment should have clarified that you were speaking about the UK and Ireland (the state) and not just the UK.
It does cause confusion that the island and the country have the same name 😊

By saying Ireland and grand lodge of Ireland I took it for granted folk would know I meant the island

The Freemasons I know are generally good charitable people. The members of some of the other, boys only clubs, do not seem to include charity in their vision, they are perhaps the more wealthy of the two.

female-only lodges are now recognised. Grand Lodge accepts continued membership in male lodges for transsexuals (not sure that has been tested in practise - there are some obvious issues, as there would be outside freemasonry). Two Muslims in my lodge, one black member, now sadly deceased, only Jewish member left decades ago. The membership consists of those who want to join, not those who fit criteria other that being “free” (can make own decisions) and of mature age (no underage members).

As anyone can see I’m a long term poster here and clearly female. The question remains why are you so desperate to spread lies and conspiracy theories. I’ve found it interesting how desperate some people are to spread lies about the Free Masons. Something very similar happened in 1930s Germany. We’re seeing quite a resurgence of 1930s German narratives at the moment aren’t we?

Isn’t it interesting how a despite how powerful the Freemasons are, controlling the narrative being used by governments and big business worldwide, closing down any opposition a whole thread of conspiracy theorists is allowed to stay up. Seems Mumsnet is that one remaining safespace, outside the clutches of the men who control the world. Its absolutely laughable.