DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

Did you know this when you met him?

Can you substantiate any of this?

@JamesPeterson
Your description of Freemasons actually fits closely with how my DH describes it. He's always said they encourage family above all else, then work, then Freemasonary. And he does stick by this. He's also told me they'd take care of me and our DD if anything were to happen to DH, which is reassuring.

Could your DH not just buy life insurance which is what people do who are not Freemasons?

Thank you for the welcome. I have always been curious Freemasonry. Initially, it was the mystery surrounding it which intrigued me as well as its history. However, knowing the secrets wasn't enough in and of itself but I then found that the values and aims of Freemasonry were very much in line with my own. Funnily enough, it was a BBC segment about women's Freemasonry which really got me interested! Obviously, I enquired about the male organisation!

So, I got in touch with someone at the Masonic centre near me. He invited me down for a drink, answered my questions, got to know me and it eventually led to me petitioning to join. This was just before the Covid 19 pandemic though, so I ended up having to wait to be initated a little longer than I would have usually. It was worth the wait though.

@Username056 yes I suppose he could, however that isn't the primary reason for him joining, I shared that already previously if you're interested in his reasons. It doesn't affect our lives negatively and he enjoys it, so who am I to tell him he can't be a member. He doesn't police my hobbies and club memberships.

We’ll get some, that’s your fault, not your dh’s.

How much of his wages does he need to give away?
Will he be giving 5 nights a week?

It'd be a no from me.

Thank you for your reply, I’m really pleased it’s working out for you. If you had to single out one important thing you had got out of it, what would you say is the most important to you.

Yes they do a lot of charity work

I don't understand why they award each other with ridiculous titles.. it seems bizarre..but they actually seem to do nothing but good. I work for an organisation that has benefited from several generous donations from different Masonic lodges. The money is used to directly provide resources for people with a specific health condition.

I don't understand why they award each other with ridiculous titles.. it seems bizarre..

It's probably a tradition thing isn't it? I personally find it a bit cringe too, but I generally feel like that about tradition and ceremony. All sorts of clubs bestow titles on certain members.

I suspect there's some truth to masons getting preferential treatment from other members, and large groups of people inherently do have more political power than unaffiliated individuals, but I'm not persuaded there's much inherently wrong with freemasonry and a lot of the more colorful criticisms on this thread seem like really nutty conspiracy crap.

@ JamesPeterson Have you been wrapped in a shroud and raised from your coffin yet? If not, brace yourself.
@Plastictrees,Hang on in there, you’re on the side of the angels.
The murderer, Seddon, did indeed give the Masonic sign of distress (drawing right hand, thumb extended, across the forehead from left to right as though wiping sweat from his brow) to Mr Justice Bucknill at his trial. (Long time ago, though) Bucknill rebuked Seddon and ordered a new trial but one has to wonder how many and what signs are given to magistrates etc in courts up and down the country. If masonry is harmless why do masons so resolutely resist being required to declare membership at job interviews?

There is so much I love about it but I would say that the most important thing is the sense of brotherhood. I know that I can go to any lodge, even a lodge where no one knows me, and I will be welcomed and accepted like a friend. There is a real sense of friendship and camaraderie. It doesn't matter what your background or social standing outside of Freemasonry is either. I could be sitting at dinner with a multimillionaire businessman on one side of me and a school caretaker on the other. In the lodge, we are all equal.

The second best aspect for me would be the ceremonies. I am actually quite good at memorising and delivering portions of ritual and doing it in a dramatic way. I get a lot of satisfaction from learning something and delivering it well.

If masonry is harmless why do masons so resolutely resist being required to declare membership at job interviews?
I'm not a Mason but I'd assume:

• fear of prejudice; and
• there is history (even recently in the UK) of Freemasons being legally required to disclose membership - in breach of their Human Rights (particularly freedom of assembly.

The UK quietly dropped laws requiring masons to disclose membership after the ECHR found a similar law in Italy to be unlawful.

My DH has been invited to join by different people and I'm so proud of him for refusing. Nod, wink, we're all in this together as long as you go to these events, which as a good husband and Dad won't make unwanted time for.

Time this was phased out but, like all similar networks, it won't be. A sort of nepotism, so equally unfair.

Long pole, keep away! X

It's not "culty", does not involve money like Scientology, there are separate lodges for women (as well as the standard "women's groups").

Google these 2 Words? Masons and charity. Lots and lots of articles and millions raised.

It’s a cult … ruined my brothers marriage and life

JamesPeterson
I agree. I have no regrets about joining.

They are nasty little 'men'. Particularly the upper echelons. They also think the lower ranks are useful idiots and provide a suitable veneer for the more devious activities that go on.

What's the point of the rituals? It all sounds very am dram.

how excatly did they ?

Like most Masons, I don't like to go into detail about the content of a ceremony so as not to spoil it for a future candidate. I will say however, that if someone had mentioned being wrapped in a shroud and raised from my own coffin, I would have found that rather exciting and would have been disappointed if it didn't happen. I love dramatic ceremonies!

The Fredrick Seddon case is something I like to mention when people allege that Freemasons help each other get away with crimes. Mr Justice Bucknill did not order a new trial (I am not sure where you got that idea from) but said the following:

"It is not for me to harrow your feelings – try to make peace with your Maker. We both belong to the same Brotherhood, and though that can have no influence with me, this is painful beyond words to have to say what I am saying, but our Brotherhood does not encourage crime, it condemns it."

One of my Masonic friends knows a judge who is a Freemason. My friend asked this judge about this subject and it turns out that giving a sign to a judge or magistrate would be a very unwise thing to do, for the following reasons:

Firstly, if a Freemason has been convicted in court of a criminal offence, he has gone against his Masonic principles. We are supposed to be of good character and law abiding as Freemasons, so a judge, who is Mason, looking favourably upon such a person is not something that person could reasonably expect. They would have brought the fraternity into disrepute.

Secondly, in reality, Masonic signs are not very well kept secrets. They can be easily recognised. A Freemason on the bench would have to respond to such a sign by sticking strictly to the sentencing guidelines he has been given. Any discretion he may have exercised when deciding sentence, that may have gone in the defendant's favour, would have gone right out of the window. The judge would not risk being accused of showing leniency due to Freemasonry.

The objection to Freemasons being required to disclose their membership was being singled out. If I am required to make such a disclosure, then it suggests that the potential employer has some kind of an issue with Freemasonry. I would fear being discriminated against in such circumstances.

Personally, I have no problem with people knowing I am a Freemason. All of the staff members at the school I work at know I am a Mason and no one has an issue with it. I always take my regalia case in with me because I don't have time to go home first in the evening to collect it. Others I know prefer to keep it private and that's their choice.

It’s not as cost effective
Payments are tax free to the Freemasons, they aren’t to a life insurance company
The tax payer doesn’t subsidise peoples personal life insurance…..