DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

When I go to church (a Catholic one), there is nothing secretive about it. Anyone can walk in and see what's going on. It's not a secret. All are welcome and the door is open. I can go anonymously. I don't have to sign in. No one is keeping tabs on me. It's not a club.

Gosh.

…why aren’t women allowed to join, for a start.

Maybe just read the thread.

They are all men, women not allowed; they have patronising 'Ladies Nights' every year which cost a bomb and the women have to be dressed up to the nines, as if they were going to the Oscars.

I would rather go to a charity ball fundraiser, at least men and women are equal.

Was it in his will. Is that why they felt they could dictate to her

"You'll be next"?! Sounds ominous, what do you mean?

What do they practice? I really don’t understand what this involves.

They're great people and the misconception on MN are clear. Calling it a cult is extremely offensive Oh it is a cult - the stuff I cleared out from my FIL's flat after his death shows that very clearly.

personally i prefer proper factual information rather than hearsay perspectives from fellow mumsnetters, as lovley as they are what people think about x groups etc can be different than what actually is true

So much bull on this thread. DH has been one for donkey's years. He has a full meeting once a month, one rehearsal and one lodge of instruction. That's three nights a month. I never attend any functions due to ill health but when I did it was twice a year...a night planned by the Master's wife that year and the festive board.
When I was seriously ill (I have a life limiting condition) they were and continue to be, incredibly generous financially, even gifting us a holiday and a scholarship to DS.
Unless your DH is a member of multiple lodges something doesn't add up.

TeabySea · Today 20:25
Very true. A friend of mine's late father was a member of a lodge. When he died, they dictated a whole load of 'rules' she had to follow for his funeral and wake to ensure that it afforded the lodge the appropriate respect and standing. And she had to fund it all, as well as make a donation to them. They didn't cough up anything.
...
That didn't happen when my father in law died. I think my mother-in-law received a card from the lodge and from then on they sent her a cheque every year, not huge but something. The funeral was like anyone else's funeral, masons had nothing to do with it.

Your friend's mother could have refused, surely.

Freemasons: Leaders tackle the myths behind the 'secret' organisation - BBC News

My dad's a Freemason. I've been to their events for 30 years. Absolutely nothing sinister, all very much about friendship and charity work. I would be very happy for my husband to join the craft.

people slate the freemasons, but at least the organisation does not have the reputation that the church does of some of its various members so overall the freemasons are more holy than the church

This sounds like the freemasonry I know

This is an example of the charity giving
Part of the 80% given to their own

Im not knocking you receiving the gifts btw. However others talk of all the charity work when actually it’s tax avoidance given back to their own

Another example in LBFs post re payments to a widow of a mason

I don't know. It was a pretty traumatic time for her and I think she felt steamrollered into it, having fallen out with a sibling at the time about the best way to treat him during end of life care.

They do a lot for charity etc, it's hardly the illumnati. Do you have hobbies?

even if its tax related, basically no different than amazon etc

I think this is the issue - the lack of transparency around the organisation and what the facts actually are. What do these ‘secrets’ consist of. Reports tend to vary wildly, from it being cult like, full of bigotry and bullying to it being a harmless hobby for men to feel connected. I think where there’s secrecy there can often be a lack of governance which is problematic in many ways.

There are bad examples in groups everywhere hate to break it to you. One example a woman in a group I go to for afterschool activities used to hit her kids. Does that mean all mummies are bad now?

Come on it's hardly assassin's creed. It's years since they operated like that.

hyperbole logic

If it was in the will I suppose there wouldn’t be a lot she could do. If it wasn’t then quite disgraceful the Lodge felt they could dictate anything to do with someone’s funeral.

mind you, i do prefer the templar style of govt, with the assassins its to risky