DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

Meh, I know lots of Masons, and have attended a couple of the more esoteric talks. I quite liked the cafe in free masons hall where you got a little free masons symbol on your coffee.

Geberalky though most Lodges have lost their esoteric edge which is the only thing that makes them interesting

Met loads of nice Freemasons and some wankers.

Wouldn’t bother me either way tbh.All the cloak and dagger stuff people associate with it makes me laugh though.

My husband is a mason and is only out one night a week now though he has held master of the lodge. His dad was a mason and when he was dying of cancer age 26 back in the 1980s the lodge raised £5000 for him to help his family as he was unable to work and had a new baby at home(husband was 7 months old when his dad died). DH stepdad is also a mason. My grandfather was a mason and my grandmother was a member of the Eastern Star and rose to Right Worthy Matron in the lodge. I’ve never found it odd or creepy but then I grew up around it.

There have been many reports about the FMs being linked to police cover ups and considering how problematic and misogynistic the police is as an organisation nothing would surprise me. Most ‘boys clubs’ are full of rampant misogyny, especially where hierarchies and power are involved - considering entry into FM is by invitation then I think it’s wise to employ some critical thinking.

There's currently a proposed suggestion of a Bill to make the police and other servants of the crown declare membership of any secret society, which is deliberately targeting Freemasons precisely because of concerns about these networks of power and influence, it's not all funny handshakes and charitable giving. It's like deciding things at the golf club, or behind closed doors, or places women can't go- of course men benefit from this including those in the police and criminal justice systems, and if they don't, they won't have any issue declaring their membership then, will then? Then we can properly calculate whether it has any effect.

Those saying this is irrelevant and doesn't apply otherwise Masons wouldn't be in prison are extremely naive, of course some people get caught, it's about making evidence go away, complaints disappear, sometimes that is not possible but where influence is to be had, people, no correction, men will take it. Women rarely can, especially in the police force.

It’s easy to see what goes on in the Mason tbh. I would say secrecy in nearly all the different “secret societies” is fairly obsolete (there’s a couple where things are still somewhat secretive if you get fairly deep into it). People like to publish books😀

Well no because the illuminati were against the abuse of state and personal influence.
No under the table deals
No abuse of power
They opposed superstitions
They were against unfair injustices

The complete opposite of the Freemasons infact.

popular fictional tv and fictional books on the Illuminati is more akin to the Freemasons but nothing like the Illuminati

The oaths they take are blood curdling and terrifying. A society of secrets is not good.

There PR stunts of raising money for widows is clever though.

can they use religion too to declare any undue influence or net works of power, as they are the same church group members / free masons members ?

The issue isn't that what they do there is secret, it's that the names of the people involved are secret and so we can't see whether they are unduly influencing things for other members. There are always nice people in groups of 'jolly good chaps' but they tend to be white and male and that is good for them and bad for everyone else. I can't believe you have to explain to a group of women why an exclusive men's club focused on secrecy, loyalty and the brethren is potentially problematic for, for example, men who are excluded and women who are excluded. Most men are probably there for the company and the charity, but when push comes to shove and they are asked for a favour, they will do it.

This is why companies are introducing gender and university blind recruitment, otherwise old boys recruit old boys who look like them!

Nah. If my DH wanted to join this sect. I would instantly think 'ok you are a tosser' I remember an old boyfriend's father being a Freemason and he was caught drunk driving. He got away with it through his contacts in the Freemasons and then bragged to his son about it. I remember at 14 thinking 'what a corrupt organisation'

Opposition to the Abuse of State and Personal Influence

The Illuminati, founded in 1776 by Adam Weishaupt in Bavaria, did indeed position themselves as opponents of the entrenched power structures of the time. They aimed to combat the misuse of authority by both the monarchy and the Church, which they saw as perpetuating inequality and superstition.

No Under-the-Table Deals or Abuse of Power

While the Illuminati critiqued abuses of power, their secrecy and hierarchical organization could be seen as contrary to the principles of complete transparency. They sought to influence society by embedding themselves in positions of power, which some critics argue could lead to a form of covert influence—a potential contradiction to their ideals.

Opposition to Superstition

This is accurate. The Illuminati were strongly influenced by Enlightenment ideals, which emphasized reason, scientific thought, and the rejection of superstition. They opposed the mysticism and dogma often associated with organized religion at the time.

Against Unfair Injustices

Broadly correct. The Illuminati advocated for reforms that promoted equality, rational governance, and education. Their goals aligned with addressing what they perceived as injustices rooted in ignorance and tyranny.

Historical Context

The group operated for only a short period (disbanded by 1785 due to pressure from the Bavarian government). Much of what we know about them comes from a mix of their own writings and the exaggerations of their critics. Over time, their legacy has been distorted, often being linked to shadowy conspiracies far removed from their original intentions.

Of course people who share the same networks of power will use them if they have to, witness the scandals in the church recently about covering up for paedophiles. The 'name' of the organization is more important than the individual members, that's the rules.

I have no idea whether people who share the same religion are more predisposed to favourably treat other people who are the same, but I guess attempts to make the judiciary more balanced and representative, and the fact we can get rid of jury members if we think they are biased/likely to be unable to weigh the facts objectively means that we can (in America, they stack the juries like crazy if they can).

Just because they give to charity does not mean they are not a cult. The two are not mutually exclusive.

My grandad was a mason. At his funeral we (family) all walked in and sat down (not many of us, we are a small family) and then 12 men all in super smart black suits and ties etc all walked in and sat down. Afterwards they all left without a word having not interacted with us at all. Not a word. It was really creepy.

The one in my town is owned by them. It looks like a big house with a coat of arms thing engraved above the door and all the windows bricked up. The road it's on is called Masonic Lane.

Sometimes they have open days where you can go look around. I've always wanted a nosy inside but I always seem to miss them.

This continous refrain of 'they do a lot for charity' just reminds me of stately homes.

Exactly!

I saw that and there was a documentary some years before.

How can you sleep with him if it gives you the ick? Aren't you grossed out?
Do you just lay there hope it's over quick?
Ew, I'd think about leaving and soon...

Sadly we can pick out twats from all "good" organisations. I used to go to a church, on Sunday the music leader was stood at the front giving it large about being a good Christian...Wednesday he left his wife and 3 kids for another woman.

My grandfather was one and in fact died age 75 telling a joke in the masonic lodge at a formal dinner which always felt like a nice way to go to me. However my mother was very disparaging of them and their sexism so I have never been much of a fan. Most of them are pretty harmless and some do a lot for charity. I am not sure what they do is any different from people doing favours for people who are the same church / other religious or cultural group; but certainly membership of any group should not be used to confer advantage.

I would like to add that a lot of the crap people believe about masons comes from 2 books called the brotherhood written by a guy in the 1980s who failed to get planning permission! He came out with a lot of unsubstantiated claims of police officers letting masons off, people not being aloud to build. Naturally, the red top papers of the time loved it (remember this was at the time of Hillsborough and the Sun's claims that Liverpool fans were robbing the dead).

Theÿ do raise a lot of money for charity.

It'd be divorce in my household.
Look at what happens in the higher echelons of the freemasons, especially the links with the police and legal professions, and you might change your mind about it being a harmless organisation.
It's not all altruistic charity work.

As others have said upthread............ so what?

Jimmy Saville also raised a lot of money for charity - that didnt mean he was a good man.

There are a multitude of ways of raising money for charity without being a freemason.