DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

Oh, I'm aware of that being Catholic myself, but I do know of Catholics who have joined the masons, all in England.

But is that not just a reflection of the men you know rather than Freemasonry itself? Plenty of women are married to men you describe who are not masons. They play football or golf or go to the gym/pub/cycling. The person is the problem, not the activity. It's odd to dislike the activity because some shit men partake.

@Namechangetheyarewatching the whole point is the Masons try to prevent each other getting criminal records or disciplinaries against them in the police, that's what watching each other's backs means.

It's possible to be very charitable and giving as well as wrong and misogynistic at the same time, and no, they don't protect the female officers or non-Masons in the same way.

I'm sure your convicted offenders are no longer freemasons.

Rubbish

As I said anyone found trying to gain by using the group will be removed

It's what the men who have done shit things, have told me about it, that's put me off!

@SugarHeadache that accords with what I know about the Masons in the police force. I don't know why some people are a bit in denial, being in a club means you are loyal to those in the club, that can be helpful and kind if they are bereaved, but it can be corrupt if it's about avoiding the consequences at work that other people experience.

Whatever about Masons generally, that's just random sensationalism. One mason asked another mason to take on a job. May have been a bit of backscratching going on - who knows?

Mason who took on job advised bringing in the police, somewhat against wishes of first mason.

It's not much of a masonic conspiracy. More an illustration of the trivia the press can draw out of even the most serious stories.

My DF was a Freemason for years - I gather that it could be helpful career-wise, but at home he would take the piss, and always referred to it as the ‘boy scouts’.

Because they are shit men. Being masons didn't cause that. There isn't actually any power in being a mason. No one can get someone off for a crime just because they are a mason. Being a mason won't prevent you from losing your job, going to jail, or getting a criminal record. If some criminal told you that a random police officer in the lodge was able to get him off for a crime he committed, he's spinning you a yarn. It's no difference to someone on the legal section of MN giving advice. There is no actual power there.

@YerJokin Your mention of mlms in the context of this thread made a spark for me. Going to give that some thought. Very interesting.

There’s an awful lot of sweeping statements in this thread and very little evidence for what Masons do or don’t that warrant statements like bigoted, bad people, misogynistic etc etc. Sounds like a lot of you are dismissing something you don’t properly understand.

My DH is a mason and has been for many years. He's definitely not a pompous ass, he would get short shrift from me if he was!

My DH is ex forces and after he left was seriously missing the camaraderie he was used to. By becoming a mason he found that again and there are times that was a life saver for him.

The annual fees go towards admin and building upkeep. They meet once a month, do whatever they do in the Temple, have a meal, raise money through raffles etc and socialise. It is not a religion, but they do have to believe in their own supreme being, be that God, Allah , Odin etc etc.

It's an older population and my experience is that they care for the more elderly in the group some of whom have absolutely no one else. If the member has family, the family is looked after in their time of need.

It is absolutely against their principles to do "jobs for the boys" Yes some of them are pompous arseholes, but you get that in any walk of life, not just freemasonry.

I have been to several ladies nights, it is just a dinner dance, loads of clubs (golf/yacht/rotary) do those. I know masonry can become all consuming for some men, but so can any hobby, speak to the cycling or golf widows! At least the guys in masonry are not just doing it for themselves, but are also actively involved in raising money for local and national charities.

There were discrimatory penal laws imposed by British government against Catholics in Ireland a few hundred years ago to prevent them from progressing in society. There were a few Irish Catholic families who strangely thrived during this time. Turns out these Catholics were freemasons so they were 'in the clubs'. The laws didn't apply to them. They weren't looked upon as true Catholics.

I agree. An awful lot of ignorance going around!
PP, I dare say there are some things about you that makes your husband ‘cringe’.

Just let him get on with it. But don't bother taking an interest.

re. the Freemasons covering for each other as regards crime. There is a very famous murder/poisoning case from 1912 where accused and judge were both freemasons - the accused was found guilty by the jury, and appealed directly to the judge to overturn the verdict by giving either the First Degree sign or the Sign of Grief and Distress, and pleading by The Great Architect of the Universe. The judge refused his plea for mercy, saying that the Brotherhood did not encourage criminality.

A family member of mine is a freemason, he has to learn a stupid amount of lines to read out in front of everyone, he’s tried to leave and they won’t let him, it’s really bitchy and there’s always some drama going on. I really wouldn’t want my DH to join!

It's not just one offender. And I believe it.

I want to know the secret handshake! It is all just a load of blokes drinking, eating and doing eachother favours in their various businesses/civil service positions. Is it true they still won't allow female members? Not that I'd want to join, if I have to pay. 🤣

You say and I quote: “You promise to be honourable, not break the law and to respect women,“

My grandfather was a very high ranking Freemason at the time of him cheating on my grandmother. Subsequently destroying their marriage and also abandoning his 4 children.

The “honourable Freemason gentleman that treated women with respect” was severely lacking in this regard.

Sadly I’m absolutely sure that these so-called rules/requirements do not apply.

Read what you just wrote lol. You believe convicted criminals. Criminals who told you that masonic police officers got them off crimes. If that was true, how are they in prison? If masonic police officers have that kind of power, why are there any masons in prison?

dont be ridiculous. They do a lot of charity work but on here they will be the spawn of the devil because it’s a ‘man’ thing

Op I have family experience w someone who got tucked into a cult. I know the Freemasons are not a cult as a whole, & many are good, but some parts can become dodgy. Overall, I would remain aware of his involvement in a secretive organisation like this. It may be fine & good, I guess it depends what it makes him do & how much it dictates his life.

No. As far as I remember, joining would mean automatic excommunication for a Catholic.