DH is a Freemason and it makes me cringe

[YerJokin]

He takes it so seriously. He's always gone through hobby phases but he's done this for years now and takes it very seriously. He's currently on the phone discussing 'Bretheryn' and it gives me the major ick, I actually want to cry listening to it.

I've tried to stand by him as he takes it so seriously so i attend events and smile encouragingly but I can't bear it. Never knew when I married him that he wanted to do this. It's not the worst thing he could do of course but it's an old boys club and we're only in our 30s!

He has lots of friends and other hobbies so it's not even his only social outlet, no idea why he needs this in his life and treats it like a second job.

Havent RTWT but a close friend is a freemason. Before he married I'd go to the odd dinner as a plus one (not just me, a couple of us from our friendship group would go if he wanted us to).

Very strange if you're not into it. Very misogynistic, with wives doing wife work at all events. However, it did do a lot of good locally, and still does. I have been invited to join the women's group a few times, I've always declined.

The attitude toward women is actually no different from at my golf club as a lady member.

Recently on the noticeboard 'Ladies, can you spare an hour or two to decorate the club house?' 'Ladies, can you help us to raise money by baking mince pies and christmas cakes for us to sell alongside our regular refreshments?'. Followed by an appeal by email, which I chose to respond to.

'Dear Clubhouse, I am happy to donate a box or two of mince pies if required. I am sure that most members irrespective of gender would be happy to do the same if asked. Yours Dr MsXmasGGMasterTwat'. 😡

My dad was often asked to join but refused. I remember him saying, “why do you need a secret society to raise money for charity”.

The fact that people openly admit this is the way that they get jobs or opportunities for their children a bit sickening.

I can imagine how you feel but, from what you say, he was not a mason before you married and you presumably agreed to him becoming one. They generally want the wife to be compliant. I know that because my father-in-law was one and my mother-in-law told me she was consulted before he took the vows.

My husband was never interested. Had he been, I would have said a firm, "No".

After father-in-law died I got rid of his apron and had a look at the books, they gave me the creeps so I destroyed them.

It's not a club. A club I could accept, eg my husband liked cars and belonged to a rally club, it was no problem. I could join a club if I wanted to, I don't.

Freemasonry is a belief system and the higher echelons are extremely powerful.

There's so much ignorance on this thread. It's just a mens' social club with a bit of mumbo jumbo. They raise a huge amount of money for charity and meet up for a meal once a month. It's not a cult. It's not misogynistic. There's no networking any more. Do the daft posters who are waffling on this group have a problem with the Women's Institute or Townswomen's Guild? The poster who compared it to Scientology is particularly dim. 🤣

Freemasons are the biggest giver of charity second only to the National Lottery.

They never shake a tin or do any outside fundraising it's all donations from members.

I suggest people should do some research

Are they???

Similar too a couple of Catholic men's groups. One of them goes around wearing fancy collars with badges on. And call ing each other by ridiculous titles, 'Brother grand supreme knight' etc. it is nauseating. And women are excluded as well.

I have a relative who is into this. He sees it as the equivalent of a religion - he doesn't believe in God, but with this he gets that sense of fellowship, with its own traditions and rituals, and as he sees it, the fundraising side of things is his way of trying to be a better person. Put like that, it doesn't sound so bad. But I can't shake all the other associations and I'm very aware of how much money he puts into it, and yet sometimes complains that he hasn't got enough money. I know someone else who was asked if he'd be interested in joining and said absolutely not, giving the cost as a reason (because he didn't want to offend them by saying he thought the whole thing was a bit silly).

My DH would definitely not be interested, but if he was, I honestly don't know what I'd say or do. I do get the impression wives are expected to join in with the social side of things (not a problem for the wife of the one I know - her dad was in it first and he's the one who got her husband into it) and I know I couldn't keep a straight face in a situation like that. In fact I think maybe that's how I'd deal with it - be just subversive enough in front of any Masonic contacts to make them decide he wasn't the sort of person they were after.

My partner is a catholic and is a Freemason.

Also know Sikhs who are Freemasons.

Is the Mother's Union the equivalent of the Freemasons?

There's so much ignorance on this thread. It's just a mens' social club with a bit of mumbo jumbo

This is not true, I have a friend who is a senior police officer and one of their biggest problems is trying to get police who have committed offences or are problematic removed as they get all their Mason mates in behind them, it's a huge problem to have a secret back-slapping all male group running through professions in positions of power.

A friend of my husband was a Freemason and was Grand Master of the lodge at one point too. We were invited to Ladies Night, and I have to say, it was like an 'old boys club'. It's very much 'you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours'. My husband had no interest in joining (although I think his friend hoped he would). Some of the other Freemasons came to chat with my husband whilst at the event, but as soon as they found out he wasn't a Freemason, they couldn't get away from him quick enough!! Nothing in it for them, by talking to him!! None of the men took off their suit jackets either!!! 🤷

It is really not comparable to the WI! That is the most ignorant thing I have read on this thread!

Genuine question - can you apply to them for funding?!

Through the work of the Masonic Charitable Foundation (MCF), Freemasonry is helping to tackle some of society’s most important issues through grants to local and national charities, and partnerships with leading organisations in the sector.
With grants totalling around £5.5 million each year, the MCF helps thousands of disadvantaged and vulnerable people to live happy, fulfilling lives and participate actively in society.
The MCF’s grant programmes for charities target funding where it is most needed, within the areas about which Freemasons care most passionately. The target areas are currently:

• Improving the health and wellbeing of older people with dementia and their carers
• Early years (children aged 0-5), with a focus on poverty and neglect
• Children affected by Domestic Abuse
• Children with special educational needs and disabilities
• Medical research into childhood diseases and conditions
• Funding care services in the hospice sector

To ensure Freemasonry’s funding has the greatest impact possible, the MCF awards grants to a range of local and national charities. To assist its funding, the MCF has formed partnerships with leading organisations in the charity sector, including Hospice UK, Home-Start UK, the Cranfield Trust, Age UK, The Duke of Edinburgh’s Award and medical research. Since its inception in April 2016, from the four long standing Freemasons’ Charities, the MCF has given around 5,000 grants to local and national charities on behalf of Freemasons and their families totalling around £50,000,000.

*

What bastards helping children, old people, and the dying!

And interesting this poster had to insult other posters in order to defend freemasonry!

I think it's probably good for men to do, honestly, almost anything together. They are all killing themselves from loneliness.

I have quite a bias view because the only freemasons I've met have been offenders serving long prison sentences (met through my work in prison service).

Because this is the sample I've met, my view of the freemasons (from what they've said) is that ...

• they cover up for each other

• Police officers will help offenders avoid arrest if both r freemasons

• Freemasons r a cross between brownies, cubs and being in a club at school (that only lets in the cool kids) but for grown ups.

• Full of misogyny

• An excuse to leave the partner to do all the childcare etc..

• Somewhere baby men who think they r big boys (generally skewed towards gang members, prison officers, lawyers) go to hide from their wives under the guise of doing charitable work

Men in freemasons are not my cup of tea.

Yes you can, I was given £720 for my cadet group

But there's plenty of other things men can do other than join a cult.

He can't serve two masters. The Vatican have repeatedly forbade Catholics from joining.
Perhaps he's not a practicing Catholic. If he is, and takes his faith seriously, he should research what's more important to him. Perhaps he doesn't know. I didn't know until a few years ago.

This is such rubbish

Freemasons don't like people who use the organisation for their own advantage and wouldn't keep them in, likewise if a criminal record comes to.light they would be removed.

@Katemax82

it's just another self indulgent expense went i have fuck all hobbies outside the home apart from slaving away over my kids

That's awful. You don't have to put up with it you know. Find your inner Goddess!
In 2025.

Also important to give your kids this that they are not there for another's indulgence in life. Empower yourself and therefore teaching them about life. No-one in life is second-best to another.

Find a brilliant therapist some of them are useless.
Wishing you all the best!

I did say it was a bias view. I only have the view of offenders who were freemasons and this is the conclusion I drew from what they've said (there's quite a few offenders in prison and prison officers I might add, that were/are freemasons)

So I'm not keen on freemasons at all. All a bit weird and boys club for me