Husband went to the gym on Christmas Day?

[pineofcone]

We did Christmas just the two of us. We don’t have children and our families live in different countries.

We did presents, watched a film, cooked dinner and then he said he was off to the gym. He is very much into the gym, goes pretty much every day.

He couldn’t understand why I was annoyed that he couldn’t just miss one day. Aibu?

I went for a run on Christmas Day but I was back before the kids were awake. If he did nothing to make the day happen he's a prick. Maybe there's more going on if he couldn't miss one day.

Yeah and in the seaside town where my son lives, there was the 'Christmas morning swim', that lots of people went to.

I generally workout every day and that includes Christmas. My husband is the same. Taking an hour or so to yourself is normal in a healthy relationship.

OP, you've spent the entire day alone together doing all the usual Christmas stuff. As long as he's not disappeared for hours and hours why begrudge him a bit of exercise? What would it "prove" to you if he skipped a workout and watched yet another Christmas movie instead?

I'd advise next year he works his split out better in preparation. Going every day can be counterproductive

It's like going for a walk, run, swim etc it's fine

Don’t think this is wierd at all - when we lived overseas pre children I deffo would have popped to the gym in the am before Christmas lunch… the 24hr ones are often open.

The gym is not open on Christmas Day.

I love DH very much but I need breaks from 'togetherness' as well, and I absolutely have to get out of the house or I feel claustrophobic and trapped. I did a walk Christmas Day which helped, but the gym would have been even better.

So you know the opening hours of every single gym in the country?

Are the posters lying that say theirs was open?

All that is fine if you have communicated that in a respectful way. OP hasn't said she begrudges him time at the gym, just that his decision to go without informing her on what is a day she had expected to spend together surprised her. And it's rude. If they had had a conversation where he's said, 'I know it's Christmas but I'd like to go to the gym at some point, when would be a good time in our day?' I doubt there would have been a problem. Unilaterally deciding to go and pretending there's something wrong with the other person if they have anything to say about it (or 'getting upset' if you want to be condescending) is obnoxious.

It's the new 'cancel the cheque'

😆

Couldn't you have gone to the gym too?

I don’t see the issue if it was just for an hour or two. I went for a run on Xmas day for an hour or so, we still had plenty of time together and I felt better for doing it.

For those saying gyms weren’t open, some definitely were. My friends son and nephew went and were late home for dinner which my friend wasn’t pleased about.

Lots of gyms are open on Christmas Day. It's simple enough for a member of staff to unlock the shutters and allow access when its PIN code operated. I don't understand why some posters are so puzzled by this. I don't see the harm in him going to the gym for a couple of hours. Christmas Day inside can be quite tedious.

Loads of people run or do some other kind of exercise on Christmas Day. This wouldn’t bother me. It’s supposed to be an enjoyable day so why not do something you enjoy.

There's more than one gym

@pineofcone you posted for opinions on the AIBU forum of MN, probably one of the busiest forums on the whole of the internet! And now you’re seemingly a bit irritated that lots of people have replied. It’s a classic case of “AIBU?”, most posters say “yes”, so OP flounces. If you don’t want opinions, don’t ask for them. You’re coming across as rather needy and sulky.

Wow this thread is nuts.
I think it’s just a simple miscommunication- you assumed he would skip the gym and he assumed you’d expect him to be going as per usu. no one is right or wrong here.

And don’t see anything wrong with going to the gym, if that’s what someone loves doing why shouldn’t they do it on Christmas Day?

Just have a conversation for next time but I don’t think it’s worth getting too upset over. He would equally be within his rights if you to be upset if you said you didn’t want him to go.

If he had left a family gathering or kids at home, I'd have a low opinion of him (albeit slightly envious that I don't have the courage to leave my family gathering to do the same..).

If it was just the two of you, and it's something he does every day, then I don't see the issue. It's clearly an important part of his routine.

There is something wrong with getting upset in this situation. They had done all their planned activities for the day, there weren’t children or guests to be tended, and he does not need permission from OP to go run to the gym, or take a nap, or go for a walk. A person’s desire to go do something alone for a short stretch takes priority over someone wanting them to sit next to them on the sofa or whatever - your partner is not a comfort animal.

If OP were upset because they had something planned or he abandoned her when there was work that had to be done that would be a completely different topic. But she’s not, she specifically said she wanted him to stay with her all day.

If he goes to the gym everyday he's probably addicted and would feel awful without going. How long was he there for?

Well is say if you can’t have a couple of hours apart without falling apart then there’s a Problem. Especially when all you were doing is watching a film. If he’s generally considerate and it’s a good relationship then cannot see the issue. If the gym is a metaphor for your relationship then yes fine to be annoyed but is it actually the gym?

Apt of the newer ‘chain’ gyms are only staffed at certain times but members can access 24/7/365 at their own risk.

My gym is open on Christmas Day. I did for about one second consider going but I have children so it felt wrong. However in your circumstances it’s completely fine. No different to those doing park run, walk post dinner or a quick pint with their mates before dinner ? I think you are being unreasonable and needy sorry !

You know the opening hours of every gym in the country, do you?

OP even says she knows the gym was open 🙄